[Vemnagelignc]

I think many Buddhists may go through a period or a "phase" as they learn and study more that they must give up so many things in life in order to progress along the path. I wonder- do others agree with this?

But really, what most end up learning is that it is not so much the physical attachment that we must give up, but more-so the more subtle form of attachment in terms of our mind. There are probably many monks that try to leave the so-called attachments of mundane life to live in a monastery or temple, but I think many still have some form of attachment still in their minds- so it is not so much about attachment to mundane things, but attachment to the mundane mind.

It is unfortunate that he is struggling with this right now. It can be hard for some to find that fine line. Perhaps he hasn't fully accepted the impermanent nature of all things, but with some time and some guidance he may be able to understand and not need to reject these worldly things. Hopefully with a little bit of time and some prayer/aspirations, he may see that it is quite okay to be a Buddhist, to love you and your family while working to discover what attachment really is and how he can find a balance. One great example from Tibetan history is Marpa Chokyi Lodro. He was a layperson, married, a very successful business man, a lineage holder, and reached the fruition of Mahamudra.

I have struggled a little with this kind of thing in the past (and even now at times)- We may want a relationship, we really care for someone but we also want to really practice well too. But unless we are set on leaving home life to become a monk or a nun, then I think if we do our best to try not to cause too much suffering for our partner's, then we should be able to engage in a healthy, loving relationship.

But I really do think that this is just one more reminder of the nature of samsara- whenever we desire something, we will experience the suffering that comes along with it.

:hug:

Terma