View Single Post
Old 11-19-2011, 05:11 PM   #10
mortgrhhh

Join Date
Oct 2005
Posts
320
Senior Member
Default
I learned a little bit about Buddhism and was fascinated by it. However, I misunderstood a lot of things about the Buddhist religion.
No wonder you did -- most of those who write the books don't even understand it themselves.

I misunderstood the teachings about reincarnation thinking that I had to believe that my soul would go into a rebirth as another human or animal after I died. I couldn't accept that I had an immortal soul. Thinking that Buddhists believed in an immortal soul I got really angry and no longer wanted to becocme a Buddhist. I got really angry. I think I threw my book that I own about Buddhism onto the floor and said (please forgive me if this hurts or offends anyone) something like, f Buddha! Or F Buddhism" I've done this many times. It's easy to get really excited after finally finding something that makes sense to you, and then eventually you stumble upon some bogus interpretation or whatever and you get so disappointed the excitement turns into anger instead. You feel like you never wanna hear the word Buddha again because now you associate it with a bunch of BS. This is common. It's like a crisis of faith. And this is why it's so important to find the right books and so on, which can take years. Ask questions.

I feel really guilty about this. I want to learn more about Buddhism and hopefully become a Buddhist but I no longer feel worthy. I used the f word while talking about the Buddha or Buddhism. That is what I remember at least. I feel like because of this I am not worthy of ever possibly being a Buddhist. Am I too immoral to be a Buddhist? I use the f word on a daily basis and I've used it in reference to Buddhism too. I've heard Buddhist teachers curse many times.

I also hope that someone can tell me if I have ruined my chances of being Buddhist because of when I cursed and said what I said. You haven't. And you can keep doing those things after you've "become" a Buddhist, too. One famous master burned most of his books on Buddhism after his enlightenment because he realized words are just words. There's no sin in any of this. Buddhahood is for everyone.

mortgrhhh is offline


 

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 12:57 PM.
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Design & Developed by Amodity.com
Copyright© Amodity