[sherrferris]

hi Mandy

welcome

compassion is the wish and intention to prevent & end suffering

so, in the work place or more superficial social life, compassion is generally only applicable in small ways

i suppose what the Dalai Lama is explaining is the general attitude: "How can I be of help to others?"

for example, in a more serious relationship, such as marriage, our compassion focus would be: "What are the sufferings/needs of my partner and how can I act to alleviate those needs/sufferings?"

such a compassionate attitiude is different from the self-centred attitude: "How can my partner make me happy?"

so in more superficial relationships, compassion is tuned more towards more subtle things, such as "How can I help my fellow workers?" or "How can I be an object of safety, i.e., not to offend of upset my friends?"

for example, not to say things to criticise the loved cars of those sensitive burly mechanics


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in the teachings of Buddhism there are at least four mature emotions used for the basis of relationship:

(1) metta: friendliness; respect; good-will (the opposite of hatred)

(2) karuna: compassion; empathy (the opposite of cruelty)

(3) mudita: appreciative joy; to be happy for the happiness/good fortune of others (the opposite of envy)

(4) upeka: equinimity; balance of mind when we cannot help

so we can develop all four of these mature emotions (rather than just one)

kind regards

element

compassion is the wish and intention to prevent & end suffering

so, in the work place or more superficial social life, compassion is generally only applicable in small ways

so in more superficial relationships, compassion is tuned more towards more subtle things, ...

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in the teachings of Buddhism there are at least four mature emotions used for the basis of relationship:

(1) metta: friendliness; respect; good-will (the opposite of hatred)

(2) karuna: compassion; empathy (the opposite of cruelty)

(3) mudita: appreciative joy; to be happy for the happiness/good fortune of others (the opposite of envy)

(4) upeka: equinimity; balance of mind when we cannot help

so we can develop all four of these mature emotions (rather than just one)

kind regards

element

Hi Element,

Thank you so much for your reply. As soon as I read it this morning (couldnt reply then was on way to work) I "got it" - I understood what compassion meant. It reminded me of when I first learned about the four noble truths - accusing Buddhism of being 'over dramatic' because I didn't see myself as 'suffering'. It was the case then that I had only thought of 'suffering' as in real, physical, serious suffering. I now understand that suffering comes in different degrees.

Today I researched compassion a bit more on the internet and thought about it quite a lot. I see that the case of compassion isnt exactly the same as for suffering as I now understand compassion to be simply that 'compassion' whatever the circumstances. I now realise that the thing that makes the overall experience of compassion different in different circumstances is that compassion for say famine victims is also accompanied by maybe anger (at a world that's allowed this to happen) and deep sadness (for the starving), making it seem much more emotionally powerful. So I can see how I could have compassion for a work colleague whos maybe under pressure or really not having a good day but in that case I'm not also experiencing other emotional reactions. So thank you for helping me to see that.

Thank you also for including the four mature emotions - also very helpful.

Regards,

Mandy