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Answer to First Point

Dhamma is ‘not’ something special. On the contrary, it is something ‘normal’ and ‘natural’. It is the truth of life. However, people look for happiness and look for something special, so they could not see Dhamma. Dhamma is around us all the times. Nirvana is not a special world or highest heaven. In fact, Nirvana is just in front of us right here and right now, but we just cannot see it because our mind does not know and not accept the truth. What truth? It is the four noble truths. If our mind truly understand and accept the four noble truths, we will see Nirvana immediately right here.

As Dhamma is not something special but it is something normal, we do not need to be a special person to be a Buddhist. On the contrary, we need to be a normal person. Do we need to feel fear to be normal? The highest Dhamma in Buddhism is the ‘four noble truths’. We study and practice Dhamma in order to know and understand the ‘truths’. Do we need to feel fear to know and understand the truths?

I just join BWB for few weeks. The key problem for many beginners (which I saw) is that we did not classify levels of Dhamma. Many beginners study too advance, think too advance, or even think about the end already, even though they have not done or started anything much. This problem is because Dhamma in Buddhism is very wide and they cannot identify which Dhamma is for which level as they cannot see the whole picture. They listen and see only one jigsaw, then another jigsaw, and then another jigsaw.

To avoid this problem, I would recommend that beginners should take and try only Dhamma which they understand and think that it is useful to them. Ajahn Buddhadasa has taught that a person does not need to eat all fish in the sea. Although he/she eats only fish which he/she knows, he/she can be full. So, it is not necessary for him/her to spend lifetime and effort to find/eat other fish which he/she does not know/understand at all. Dhamma is quite the same that we should take and practice those we understand and can do them.

So, please relax and do not think too advance. At this beginner stage, no need to put down self and ego, give up passion, or liberate desires. It is a waste of time for beginners, since they will not be able to do them at this time anyway (for sure). It is like a student in grade one talking about or trying to do homework for student in grade ten.

What should beginners aim for? I suggest that the goal should be only to know (a) ‘what is Dhamma taught by the Buddha’, (b) ‘which Dhamma are useful to him/her and he/she should take and practice’, and (c) ‘how to practice them’. This is quite much already and it would take year(s) already to complete this.

So, it is not risky to be a Buddhist because the beginners do not need to sacrifice ego, self, passion or desires as said. Because even though you want to put them down, you cannot do it anyway. If the beginners do not need to put them down what the beginners should do? I always recommend the beginners to study the threefold learning/training (Sikkha), i.e. (1) training in higher morality (Abhisila-Sikkha), (2) training in higher mentality (Adhicitta-sikkha) and (3) training in higher wisdom (Adhipanna’sikka).

These threefold learning/training have to be taken step by step. Here, we start from training in higher morality (Abhisila-Sikkha) firstly. Basically, we would start this from the Five Precepts (pañca-sila), i.e. to refrain from destroying living creatures, to refrain from taking that which is not given, to refrain from sexual misconduct, to refrain from a lie, and to refrain from intoxicating drinks and drugs which lead to carelessness.

Someone may view that taking these five precepts are difficult and have to sacrifice things. Let’s analyze this whether or not it is true that taking five precepts are difficult and have to sacrifice things.

First - to refrain from destroying living creatures
Comparing between trying to kill someone, and not trying to do so, which one is easier? Is killing someone easier? No. Trying to kill someone is more difficult and at the end we would be in jail or even in death sentence.

Second - to refrain from taking that which is not given
Comparing between trying to steal money from bank, and not trying to do so, which one is easier? Is trying to steal money from bank easier? No. Trying to steal money from bank is more difficult and at the end we would be in jail.

Third - to refrain from sexual misconduct
Comparing between trying to have affairs with our neighbor’s wife, and not trying to do so, which one is easier? Is trying to have affairs with our neighbor’s wife easier? No. Trying to have affairs with our neighbor’s wife is more difficult and at the end we may lose our reputation or may be hated, harmed, or even killed.

Fourth - to refrain from a lie
Comparing between trying to lie our friend, and not trying to do so, which one is easier? Is trying to lie our friend easier? No. Trying to lie our friend is more difficult. We need to use more effort and more thinking to lie someone. Moreover, we need to remember what we lie. At the end, if it is found that we lied to other people, we would be hated or would lose our creditability.

Fifth - to refrain from intoxicating drinks and drugs which lead to carelessness
Comparing between trying to drink alcohol, and not trying to do so, which one is easier? Is trying to drink alcohol easier? No. Trying to drink alcohol is more difficult. We need to spend money and time and it is disadvantage to our health. If we get drunk, we may do something bad which we will lose more other things.

Based on above, is it good or bad, and useful or non-useful to take five precepts? Is it more risky or less risky to take five precepts? We will see that it is more useful and less risky to be a Buddhist taking five precepts. So, as mentioned earlier, we should take Dhamma which is useful to us and matched with our level.

Answer to Second Point

The concept of Buddhism is not ‘cognitive dissonance’. The real concept is to know the truths, and to find the best thing which a human can acquire. We do not want to waste our life and time for non-sense or non-useful things. You story of a fox with sour grape cannot compare with Buddhism.

If you have ever read a book of Buddha’s life, you may note that he was the honor Prince Siddhartha who had a so happy life and had everything a man wants. He had three castles, each castle for each season. He had many girls and a very beautiful and very good wife. But he viewed that those are not the most valuable thing, he wanted something better, something the best. So, he left his royal family and kingdom to practice to find the best thing.

If we will compare Buddhism with a fox story, the fox story would be that a fox sees a grilled premium steak and a sour grape together. It takes a grilled premium steak, and absolutely ignores a sour grape. It takes the best and does not care about the less valuable thing.

You said that buddhism is flourished in ‘poor’ countries. Why does a person want to be rich? Is it because he wants to be happy by richness? If yes, noting that ‘richness’ and ‘happiness’ are different words and things. Being rich may or may not be happy. Being happy may or may not be rich. If we are already happy for everything but are not rich, do we still need to be rich? If we are so rich but are not happy, do we still need to be happy? Which one is more valuable to us between ‘richness’ and ‘happiness’? If we can pick one, do we want to be rich in money or happiness?

Answer to Third Point

Your nephews were happy because they did not hold unhappy matters in their mind at that time. You are less happy as your hold more unhappy matters and concerns in your mind.

Newly born babies also have ego/self. For example, they cry as they feel that they are uncomfortable on anything and they do not like that situation. If they do not have ego/self, such situation cannot affect their mind and they do not need to cry. If a doctor hits a newly born baby, he feels hurt at his body and he does not like it, so he cries. That is ego/self.