[laperuzdfhami]

Using Metta is good. However, there is another way to deal with this which is to learn our mind in order to have 'Sati'.
For example, once we see the young lady having a prolonged conversation on her phone, we think about her, be aware that our mind is thinking (regardless what is the matter which our mind thinks). (‘Our mind’ thinks, not we think.)
Once we feel annoying, be aware that our mind feels annoying. (‘Our mind’ feels, not we feel.)
Once we feel Metta, be aware that our mind feels Metta. (‘Our mind’ feels, not we feel.)
By doing this, we will have ‘Sati’ by being aware of our mind in real time. This is a path to ‘Cittanupassana’ which is one of the Four ‘Satipatthana’.

If our Sati is sufficiently fast, we will see that our mind is ‘Anicca’ , i.e. our mind is unstable.
It is not annoying, and suddenly it is annoying; it changed itself and we cannot control it.
It is annoying, and suddenly it has Metta; it changed itself and we cannot control it.
We will see that our mind is unstable and we cannot control it, so our mind is ‘Dukkha’. If we can truly order and control our mind, we should order it to think about only happy matters and do not think about unhappy matters for our whole life. (But, in reality, we cannot do it.) As our mind is unstable, is ‘Dukkha’, and cannot be ordered and controlled by us, we should not treat it as ‘self’, we would see ‘Annatta’.

By seeing these three ‘Samannalakkhana’ (Characteristics Common to All Conditioned Things) clearly and truly, one day in the future, we will truly accept that whatever happen in our mind is ‘Anicca’, ‘Dukkha’, and ‘Annatta’, then we would not hold anything as self. If we do not hold anything as self, we can get out of this indefinite transmigration.

On the contrary, if we feel only Metta, we feel happy, and feel that we are a good person. Yes, we could be a good person. But, as a good person, we still can be a suffering good person since we still have self. What the Buddha taught is greater than just a good person. There were many good people in this world, but they were still suffering and had to reborn as they held self.

The Buddha taught us to see ‘Anicca’, ‘Dukkha’, and ‘Annatta’ but what we see are ‘Nicca’, ‘Sukkha’, and ‘Aatta’ (as our mind can have Metta, can be happy and can be ordered to have Metta and then be happy). Metta is just conventional for all other religious and not unique for Buddhism. Metta was in this world before the Buddha’s lifetime. If we would practice to see and understand the Buddha’s teaching, just Metta is not sufficient, we should practice to see the three ‘Samannalakkhana’. Then, we will be able to understand the Four Noble Truth.

We have to see our real mind, not our adjusted mind. This is to say, we have to be aware of our real mind as a real time, not after we already adjusted it. Otherwise, we would feel that we are happy; we are good; we can do; we can control, and consequently we will still hold ‘self’ more rather than trying to put it down.

For example, if we read this comment until this paragraph, did we aware that our eyes read and then our mind thought, our eyes read and then our mind thought (at real time) etc. Did we aware of many movements of our body, and that our mind changed so many times during our reading this comment.