DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate - View Single Post - Advice on dealing with mouthy & unruly 17 year old nephew?

**masaredera** · 07-16-2011, 08:33 AM

welcome Farful

my impression is your nephew is starting to assert himself pervasively in life, and because of the lack of intimate relationships in his life, he is engaging in what you called "framing". he is probably behaving towards you in the same way as he is probably behaving amongst his teenage peers

my view is this could be just a phase and he will grow out of it.

i can recall, whilst not being abusive, i personally rebelled against all authority when i was 14 years old, deciding i would dictate my life (rather than following the wishes of my parents, sports coaches, teachers, school principle, etc)

i can only suggest you be patient and observantly detached...and in fact possibly submit to being the 'fall guy'

your nephew sounds like he is going through the motions and, although you could beat the crap out of him, he may be asserting himself around you: (1) because of wanting to assert his new found authority and (2) because he (subsciously) trusts you and knows you will not beat the crap out of him and/or abuse him verbally

as I said, whilst being blind & oblivious to how stupid he looks, your nephew sounds just like an ordinary teenager going through both his growth phase and growing pains (frustrations)

however, his behaviour is more extreme because of his troubled home life and lack intimacy (thus dispositon to more disrespectfulness)

i would try to empathise more with him rather than take his behaviour to heart

when teenagers make fun of me (on a bus or on the ferry), like called me "dude" and stuff, i just imitate their behaviour until we are all having a good laugh or some of them start siding with me as i cheekily take the micky out of the main protagonist

i recall when i was 14 years old, only my religion teacher, an elderly Brother, had empathy for me. he would mimic me, set traps for me, and, in other ways, garner my rebelliousness and, somehow, turn it against me to cheekily embarrass and/or diffuse me. so the old kind wise Brother worked with my energy rather than against it

with metta

Element

07-16-2011, 08:33 AM	#5
masaredera Join Date Nov 2005 Posts 505 Senior Member	welcome Farful my impression is your nephew is starting to assert himself pervasively in life, and because of the lack of intimate relationships in his life, he is engaging in what you called "framing". he is probably behaving towards you in the same way as he is probably behaving amongst his teenage peers my view is this could be just a phase and he will grow out of it. i can recall, whilst not being abusive, i personally rebelled against all authority when i was 14 years old, deciding i would dictate my life (rather than following the wishes of my parents, sports coaches, teachers, school principle, etc) i can only suggest you be patient and observantly detached...and in fact possibly submit to being the 'fall guy' your nephew sounds like he is going through the motions and, although you could beat the crap out of him, he may be asserting himself around you: (1) because of wanting to assert his new found authority and (2) because he (subsciously) trusts you and knows you will not beat the crap out of him and/or abuse him verbally as I said, whilst being blind & oblivious to how stupid he looks, your nephew sounds just like an ordinary teenager going through both his growth phase and growing pains (frustrations) however, his behaviour is more extreme because of his troubled home life and lack intimacy (thus dispositon to more disrespectfulness) i would try to empathise more with him rather than take his behaviour to heart when teenagers make fun of me (on a bus or on the ferry), like called me "dude" and stuff, i just imitate their behaviour until we are all having a good laugh or some of them start siding with me as i cheekily take the micky out of the main protagonist i recall when i was 14 years old, only my religion teacher, an elderly Brother, had empathy for me. he would mimic me, set traps for me, and, in other ways, garner my rebelliousness and, somehow, turn it against me to cheekily embarrass and/or diffuse me. so the old kind wise Brother worked with my energy rather than against it with metta Element
	Quote