[Niiinioa]

I know freedom from sufffering is a sort of state of mind, and adjusting how you are thinking. If someone is clearly suffering with something like...have been a sexual trauma survivor like myself, how can I reconcile those things? How can one adjust their mind for something troubling?

Hello again, BiBuddhistRN

Using the framework I mentioned above, in my opinion, trauma can be approached from all levels, that is, the ethical level, the concentration level and the wisdom level.

I personally have found the ethical level works well. I also believe ethical problems should be resolved on the ethical level.

I also like to highlight the ethical level because most contemporary Buddhist teachings focus on the wisdom (non-attachment) level.

In fact, that you have asked about "self and others" places your question on the ethical level.

The Buddha taught being ethical is to not harm oneself or harm another. Developing the ethical level is about cultivating a clear comprehension about what is harmful ('bad') and what is not harmful ('good'). This is called sila bhavana.

Meditation on the ethical level includes cultivating reflection upon our good qualities.

So if others have done harm to us when we were vulnerable, it is a practise to repeatedly think: “I did not harm. I was innocent. I am a good person. I am not a bad person”.

Often this is required because the harmful actions of another, when we were vulnerable, can overwhelm us and cause us to think badly about our self. Our self-esteem can be harmed. It is like the other “infects” or tarnishes our healthy mind with their diseased mind.

Trauma can happen when another imposes their will over us. So I believe, through repeated reflection, one must reduce the will of that person. In fact, must eradicate it and give it no power or authority whatsoever.

At the same time, one must lift up one's own mind, by reflecting upon one's own good qualities & generating a feeling of goodness in one's heart about oneself.

The Buddha taught if we do not discern harm and non-harm clearly, our mind can suffer unnecessarily, when it shouldn't.

Kind regards

Element

[The Buddha said:] "What do you think, Rahula: What is a mirror for?"

"For reflection, sir."

"In the same way, Rahula, bodily actions, verbal actions & mental actions are to be done with repeated reflection.

"Whenever you want to do an action, you should reflect on it: 'This action I want to do — would it lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others or to both? Would it be an unskillful action, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it would lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others or to both; it would be an unskillful bodily action with painful consequences, painful results, then any action of that sort is absolutely unfit for you to do.

But if on reflection you know that it would not cause affliction... it would be a skillful bodily action with pleasant consequences, pleasant results, then any action of that sort is fit for you to do."

"All contemplatives who purify their bodily actions, verbal actions & mental actions, do it through repeated reflection on their bodily actions, verbal actions & mental actions in just this way.

Instructions to Rahula [The Buddha said:] Those who are ashamed of what they should not be ashamed of and are not ashamed of what they should be ashamed of — upholding false views, they go to states of woe.

Those who imagine evil where there is none and do not see evil where it is — upholding false views, they go to states of woe.

Those who discern the wrong as wrong and the right as right — upholding right views, they go to realms of happiness.

The Dhammapada