[cakaeroryrere]

...as you expand your sense of compassion, wishing to take on all suffering, your sense of "me" diminishes. This sounds like self-torture but it is actually liberating.

This answered so much for me - the way you have put it here made something click!

I have heard the idea of the bodhisattva, in the Mahayana context, likened to that of a bus driver whose bus has an infinite number of seats, and who welcomes everyone to get on board. All the riders have problems, many moan or complain or fight or whatever, but this fact does not actually distract the driver of the bus.