[encumeterz]

I have been reading the bardo thodol. I have no school (mahayana vedanta or otherwise). All the identities seem to cloud my perception of the present. I don't feel like I am here to be smart or even influential. I just crave to express the love and compassion that overwhelms me.

I would do this in public but I do not know the appropriate avenues for this. Anyhow, how can we achieve this and at the same time sort of let go of our own tainted egos. It's like ohh look at that guy or that group and do as they do (wear a uniform). This scares me cause I know that there is Buddha-nature in all of us.

I am very scared to cast judgement as they are good or bad or even judge things as a they and us. I feel that I am waking from a long sleep full of hells and pitfalls. But somehow through it all I feel that the bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara chenrezig has been so patient sort of smiling at all things confident that a more universal wake up call is at hand.

So anyhow I am new at all of this. I have so much to learn. I am scared cause I am at the end of myself and I do not know where to turn. My heart tells me to give all my things away and go to where I can be of any possible assistance to all the others who are scared here in samsara.