[peveballery]

Here is a story about how one individual chose his tradition.

When I was in college, I started to explore various books on Buddhism. After a while, I took some Buddhist classes and got really into them. Then I started reading a lot of Zen Buddhist books. I got really into them and was doing meditation 3X daily... after getting really into a particular style of Zen I bought a plane ticket from FL to NY just go to the center, make a real connection, and learn to really practice. I was soooo disappointed when I got there!

I ended up liking the place as we did a fair amount of meditation and it generally felt positive. However, the current teacher's insight and experience were so much more narrow than I had expected. He clearly had stability in samadhi and calmness surrounding him, despite this his personal development was considerably less than I was unconsciously looking for. I had the opportunity to meet the teacher's books I had read while there. He was getting old and had been pretty incapacitated by Parkinson's. Despite the money I spent and energy I expended to get there, I didn't even interact with him. While I was sure he had some spiritual awareness, it was so clearly not what I was looking for.

I was drawn to Zen because I was sure it was possible to experience enlightenment in this life and that one did not need to believe in complicated cultural superstitions like karma and rebirth. I had previously been exposed to Tibetan Buddhism as a teenager, but did not pursue it as a young adult because so much of it was totally incompatible with my worldview.It seemed to be rooted in all kinds of superstition and ritual. Teachers espoused obscure specific things that seemed totally irrelevant to Buddhism and spiritual growth as I understood it.

Years later I attended some teachings in the Tibetan tradition, which was still very confusing. However, I was continually drawn back towards it because the teachers embodied so completely what I aspired to. It was the only tradition I found that had the right heart, room for all of my diverse experiences, and completely supported my value about human potential. I was confronted face-to-face with the fact that all my values were extremely powerfully embodied within a tradition that seemed crazy, whereas the one that seemed in such agreement with my worldview, fell way short. This was a profound teaching to me. Even though I clearly knew where I wanted to go, and what was possible, I had to totally re-examine all my beliefs that led me away from the path that I clearly knew was out there. This is still extremely challenging for me, but I don't regret it for a minute. Before I decided to try to expand my view, I didn't even think it was possibly for me to grow in many of the ways I have.


I share this deeply personal story as a heartfelt gift for you out of honor for your already completely perfect nature... and with deep appreciation for your sincere interest that will cause the unfolding of your unique path. May your journey be profound and completely fulfill everyone of your wishes.


PS I am not in anyway putting Zen down. I have a lot of respect for Zen and it has helped me a lot. My experience was about what I needed to learn, not Tibetan vs. Zen. For all I know Zen is 10x more direct than Tibetan Buddhism.