[attanilifardy]

Originally Posted by clw_uk Use wisdom friend, walk the noble eight fold path in every experience then dukkha shall never arise and all will be cooled

Well said, Craig

Originally Posted by halfcajun Heartbeat, please take care of yourself. Don't let anyone abuse you, hurt you, esp. in the name of spiritual growth!

I definitely second this. Just because someone is a member of the sangha doesn't mean you aren't allowed to disapprove of anything they do, and it doesn't mean you have to submit to everything they seem to think will be good for you. Buddhist teachers are still only people, and no person should ever be in a position of such esteem and authority that they are above accountability or criticism.

You're not a bad person for complaining about a member of the sangha who pressured you to subject yourself to pain (which, frankly, is there so that your body can tell you something is wrong so that you can avoid hurting it), who doesn't seem able to be fair with female practitioners, and who apparently is giving students the idea that they must submit to anything and everything suggested without question.

Take care of yourself. If your sangha isn't interested in letting you do this very very basic thing, they are not your sangha; they're just other Buddhists. Hi Heartbeat, You have already received a lot of supportive and heartfelt feedback from sister and brother Buddhists, and taken it to heart. I think it is not the pain issues as such that some of us are concerned about, but probably more the way they are communicated. You should not feel rejected, that points to a lack of rapport in the relationship with your teacher. You have done a number of retreats now with various teachers, I understand, so is it possible for you to choose one that feels right? Perhaps not an unengaged approach, but one where you feel that honesty and openness, and care are valued?
Best wishes, Jan