[johnsonjunior]

Hi brothers and sisters. I'm a really anxiety prone guy with ADHD who really gets borderline psychotic when it comes to Islam. In the past 2 years I have tried to better myself as a Muslim, and I've nearly been driven crazy by it due to anxiety/waswasa

Brother religion is supposed to be easy for you not a difficulty. Do not burden yourself with anxieties in religious performance over every detail. There are hadiths to the effect that religion should be made easy. Just keep a sincere intent and try what is within your abilities. Dont worry too much about perfect execution and tajweed (for now) and simply learn the fardhs of prayer at this stage. Simplify your Islam instead of complexifying it. I have seen very pious brethren and very learned who have difficulties in pronounciation. You just have to accept what your tongue can articulate.

It seems you might be having obsessive compulsive disorder in addition to your ADHD. Your anxieties are emanating from this desire of perfect execution. This is the OCD diagnostic criteria in the DSM. I have bold italicized things which are relevant to your case but other text in the criteria are also worth a good read.

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A. Either obsessions or compulsions:

Obsessions as defined by (1), (2), (3), and (4):
(1) recurrent and persistent thoughts, impulses, or images that are experienced at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and inappropriate and that cause marked anxiety or distress

(2) the thoughts, impulses, or images are not simply excessive worries about real-life problems

(3) the person attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, impulses, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action

(4) the person recognizes that the obsessional thoughts, impulses, or images are a product of his or her own mind (not imposed from without as in thought insertion)

Compulsions as defined by (1) and (2):
(1) repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the person feels driven to perform in response to an obsession, or according to rules that must be applied rigidly

(2) the behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing distress or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts either are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent or are clearly excessive

B. At some point during the course of the disorder, the person has recognized that the obsessions or compulsions are excessive or unreasonable.

C. The obsessions or compulsions cause marked distress, are time consuming (take more than 1 hour a day), or significantly interfere with the person’s normal routine, occupational (or academic) functioning, or usual social activities or relationships.

D. Another Axis I disorder is present, the content of the obsessions or compulsions is not restricted to it (e.g., preoccupation with food in the presence of an Eating Disorder; hair pulling in the presence of Trichotillomania; concern with appearance in the presence of Body Dysmorphic Disorder; preoccupation with drugs in the presence of a Substance Use Disorder; preoccupation with having a serious illness in the presence of Hypochondriasis; preoccupation with sexual urges or fantasies in the presence of a Paraphilia; or guilty ruminations in the presence of Major Depressive Disorder).

E. The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition.
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This is just what might be the case I think. You might probably even have other obsessive thoughts. Every one is usually concerned about executing a good prayer however there will always be people who are on extreme ranges due to unidentified disorders in your case probably OCD. This is just an opinion and might be unreflective of your reality. I would suggest you go see a qualified psychiatrist and let him take a detailed consultation. He might suggest tips, advises, ideas and might even consider starting you on anti-OCD medications. Do not take this as medical advise and initiate self-reatment before a thorough evaluation from a medical doctor/psychiatrist.

May Islam become easy for you