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Asalaam Alaikum

My dear sister nabila, i haven't been on these forums for a really long time (just browse through the events section). However I read your post today and subhanAllah I had to reply.

My sister, I have been through the EXACT same thing. I was not a practising Muslim until I reached 14 like yourself. However, what made me practise the deen were these wasaawis. Alhamdulillah, that Allah guided me, but we seek Allah's refuge from the evil of these whispers as they cause incredible distress. Although I wasn't practising, Islam was still important to me, so the feeling/thought of losing it made me so anxious such that i developped physical symptoms. Alhamdulillah that there are so many people here who can relate and have advised you sincerely.

Everyone experiences whispers from shaytaan. Yet they can be of two types; fleeting or persisting. Our initial response to wasawasa should be to immediate seek refuge in Allah.. and like Allah says in Surah Al Fussilat: 36 'And if an evil whisper from Shaitan (Satan) tries to turn you away (from doing good, etc.), then seek refuge in Allah. Verily, He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower'

IF... the thoughts persist and they start attacking you, like they did for me, then you need to turn to your ulema and ask them to answer all the questions you have. For me, I knew nothing about the deen. I only believed in Allah because I was born Muslim... so these wasaawis shook my basic foundations. I had to seek answers. I needed yaqeen in my eaman... and honestly sis, insha'Allah through patient perserverence, Allah will give you the answers and subhanAllah you'll reach a new level of eaman... because it will be with CONVICTION.

There are a few talks that helped me:
1) Shaykh Riyadh ul Haq's talk on 'Satanic Whispers'
When i listened to that... subhanAllah i felt Allah gave me all the answers how to fight this.
Under general audio: http://www.akacademy.eu/library/audio

2) Shaykh Husain Abdul Sattar's talk
'Balancing our thoughts'
www.sacredlearning.org
General Talks (2006)

3) Also 2 dua'as that are so valuable to me:
'Autho bey kalimaatillahi taamat tiladhee laa yo jaawizo hunn'a barrun wa laa faajirun....' (in fortress of a muslim dua book... under seeking Allah's refuge section if i can remember correctly')
There is also an amazing dua (in fortress of a muslim.. under anxiety section) where we ask Allah to make the Qur'an the life of our hearts, the light of our chests...
'Allahuma inee abdoka /amatuka (for sisters) binto abadika, binto amatika, naasiyatey bey yadika maadhan fee hukmoka, adlan fee qadhaa'oka. As'aluka bey kulli ismin huwa laka samayta behee nafsak, ow unzaltaho fee kitaabik ow alamtaho min khalqik ow is'tatharta bihi fee ilmi ghaybe in'dak, an'tajalal quraana rabee'a qalbi wa noora sadree wa jalaa a'huzni wa dhaa'habi hami'
'Oh Allah I am your maidservant, daughter of your male servant, daughter of your maidservant, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You which You name Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety.’
http://www.makedua.com/display_dua.php?sectionid=34

I hope that helps my dear sis.

I noticed you're from the West Midlands. I also live in the West Midlands. So please feel free to get in touch if you wish insha'Allah. I would suggest getting in contact with the ulema at As-Suffa institute (Maulana Zahir, Mufti Sajjad, Mufti Imran or Maulana Shazad) if you need answers to your questions.

Wasalaam