[GogaMegaPis]

Guys, I am truly truly sick and tired of having panic attacks and anxiety and sometimes barely contained hysteria. Its been going on for over a year now and I'm 15 and I really want to enjoy life without feeling so drained and light headed and overwhelmed every single day. I want to stop being afraid to sleep so I can stop killing my body and worsening my anxiety with lack of sleep. I am tired of being afraid of eternal annihilation and unconsciousness, I want to know for certain that life goes on after death, either that or be okay and stop fearing eternal sleep and cease of existing. I want to be able to go out at night without being afraid because it's dark, I don't know if I ever willbe rid of these fears and anxiety, and what if I never get over them? I dont know for a certain that spirit guides exist. Just because I believe that ANYTHING is possible doesn't mean that I'll actually believe in them u til i know for a certain they exist. All I know is that im tired and sick of the fear, and I've been seeing a counsellor but seriously, who can cure someone from fear of death? Getting medication to help me sleep is just going to make me fear sleep more since then I'll even lose my control over when I want to sleep. I know techniques that help a bit with the panic, that gets me through them at the end of the day, but it never goes away, I thought it might a few times already but it always came back. I want to live, since I'm so scared of dying, but I'm so scared I've pretty much forgotten how to have a life. I'm wasting it and every day o waste I can't get back. If I think too much ofthe reality of my situation I'll start another real panic attack so I don't want to think about it fully. Merely telling me that it's going to be alright isn't going to be enough. I don't know what I want or need to hear but i know that all I want and need is to bE free from this anxiety.