[Doncarlito]

Lately I've become more and more fond of the more bizarre, perverted and violent side of the film industry. This means that I watch quite a number of independent movies and alot of foreign films. I think you all can understand that I see loads of crap. Still, none of the numerous films I've seen has been as bad as the films I'm reviewing now.

First up is an Italian film from the seventies. It was to be Pier Paolo Pasolini's last film... thankfully. Some claim that this bizarre and perverted film is art. They even say it's an attack at fascism. Well, someone needs to jump into a near frozen river and die, because this is nothing but a cheap shock flick. Based on The Marquis De Sade's '120 Days of Sodom, Salo, or the 120 days of Sodom is not for the weak of heart, or so you would believe. With the tagline of being the most horrifying film ever made, it's got a lot to live up to, and you know, it fails. Salo consists of three parts; Circle of manias, circle of shit and circle of domination. The first part is slow paced and rather boring, actually. It may have been shocking back in 1975, but today it won't do. There's some rape, some softcore sex and some mild violence, and that's it. It tries so hard to shock, and it fails. And when the shock effect is gone, all that's left is a badly written and badly directed piece of forgettable cinema. Then we move on to the circle of shit, and this is were Salo lost my interest completly. The "circle" is introduced by a whore. She tells a tale of men with shit fetishes, and she also reveals that one of the fascist leaders in the castle has a taste for... crap. Now, I strongly believe that shit should not be eaten. Pasolini however, must've thought differently. One of the leaders take shit on the floor, and makes one of the girls eat it. Kinda sick, don't you think? Later on they have dinner party where they eat... yes, shit, again. At that point, I closed the media player and deleted the film. So, why I am writing this review? Can't review a film I haven't seen, can I? Oh bloody hell, I can. Maybe this is not so much of a review as it is a warning; don't let anyone convince you that this is not a shock film. Don't let anyone even suggest that it's an attack at anything. It's an exploitation film, and a bad one too. Just because it's subtitled does not mean it's intelligent, cause it's not. So, even if you're offered to see this crap for free, say no, see a film that's actually worth your time, because this isn't. It's not worth shit (even though the DVD from Criterion is the most expensive DVD around).
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The second movie is a revenge/rape flick from the US of A. Directed, written and edited by some moron named Erik Stanze, this may be as bad as a film can be. The story is simple, and a complete ripoff of I spit on your grave (AKA Day of the women). A woman has been abused by men all her life, and when she gets the chance to get some revenge, she's as happy as an insane slut can be. I spit on your corpse, I piss on your grave is perhaps the most irritating film I have ever seen. Erik Stanze has this idea that the viewer wants to see laundry for two minutes, then a church and graveyard for five minutes and then two people walking around for seven minutes. Yes, it's that bad. When the the story finally gets going, it's... still bad. The woman, Sandy, makes this guy who harassed her some time in the past piss in his pants. Later on she decides to burn his face and bare penis with cigarette. Yes, this is shocking cinema, people, make sure you hurt the penis, or you won't be accepted into the cliche club. Bleh. He shits on the floor, he eats it and Sandy then chops him to pieces with an axe. And from there on it's brutality. Too bad it's all so silly it's laughable. The film ends after she's raped a guy with a broom handle. Sounds like some film, eh? Oh yeah. When there's 25 - 30 minutes of stupid fucking footage of laundry and churches, and the rest is badly done exploitation... well, you decide, do you want to see this?
2/10 (only because the shit looked so fake I had to laugh).

That was fun, right? Well, maybe not, but I'm bored.