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Please cirtique my writing
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11-11-2006, 06:28 PM
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dalnecymync
Join Date
Oct 2005
Posts
467
Senior Member
That's a lovely alaap.
Wake me when you get to the raag.
I see the kind of style you're aiming at, but it needs some serious cutting down.
More facts. Less izzleisationalisms.
Cut out the flowery stuff and focus on building a serious argument.
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