[KatoabamyHant]

Thank you Korpo and CFTraveler.

Lunchtime. Primary school. Disdain. All the groupies moving to 'their' spots on the playground, ready to engage in the rituals of playing, and socializing, and rumoring. I too, moved to 'my' spot, or spots, however, all alone. Skulking. Hiding. Sulking. Story of the ages, I guess. Perched in the outside corner of the red-brick school building, behind a row of leafy brush, I just started to cry. Wallowing in the harshness of reality, so immovable, so concrete. Where is the magic? Where is the mystery? Where is that joy? That joy that dawns on the struggling farmer when, praying for rain as he plows his land, he unearths a cluster of fist-sized diamonds? As he tries to conceal his find, but the immense joy of realisation just bursts forth uncontrolled?

Lapping around the dining room table, in the evenings, letting my mind wander on the impossible. A frequent fantasy involved the ability to fly, a christmas tree metropole blinking under a starry night sky, and the cutest girl in my class. I would reluctantly reveal my secret powers when I sweep her off her feet and show her the expanses of the crisp heaven. Escape. How I longed for the knowing, that feeling that there is indeed more to this life than just living and dying.

Last night I messaged a shaktipat master on fb (yes, we have reached that point), asking the master if he thinks an Indian journey in search of true gurus is advised. Not soon after, I instantly knew the master had sent a response. I felt it. A wave of happiness. A shakti-blast. The Aum suddenly ringing in my ears, rising above the din of the computer. Checking the inbox, indeed, a prompt reply stating that the Satguru is within.

Riding the bliss I was propelled into a light meditation. I proceeded to investigate the sounds of Aum that so strikingly manifested itself. I pressed my ears closed with my thumbs, and on the corner of my eyes I lightly placed my pinkies (to stabilise my eyes as they focussed on the ajna). Focusing on the audible ringing, I maintained my attention. Slowly beneath the high pitch I heard what I have heard before, the strange sound of a toilet refilling its bowels after being flushed. Or so it seemed. It is a disrupted sound, uneven, broken. Unlike the loud ringing above.

Then, for the first time, I realized. It is not the sound of a refilling toilet, but of an earthy flute!

"The vibratory activities of each center produce a characteristic sound. In meditation the yogi may hear first the hum, as of a bumblebee, emitted by the earth center. The water or sacral center has a flutelike sound; the lumbar center a harplike sound; the air center a bell-like sound; the cervical center emanates a sound as of rushing waters; and at the medulla oblongata the deeply meditating yogi hears the symphony of all sounds together: the oceanic roar of the Cosmic Om."

Finally, some magic seeping through the veils of maya!