[cristmiff]

i relate to your feelings and experience, natalia. and of course everybody's response as well. my understanding is that this desire for peace and love and all that good stuff can be a concept, and as such isn't truly experienced. and the frustration is wanting to be a certain way which is mind stuff, and actually being that way from the heart seems just out of reach.

and the harder one tries, the more resistance is created, things get difficult. i've been in a place where i just want to give up because it all seems impossible. someone once told me, there's this big wall in front of me that i want to get through, but if i try to tear at it with my hands they will soon be cut and bleeding, and i won't be able to get very far. but then all these people will come along, and together everyone will be working on bringing that wall down. in no time it will be gone.

there is no someday. that day is now, and it is happening. it just doesn't happen according to our timetable and belief systems and conditioning. we can be blind to what's happening right in front of our noses. the veil is lifting, we can't stop it if we tried. and adjustment is a process.

so i try to relax and know that it's all good. and it's all happening just the way it needs to. and my frustration and discontent doesn't help, so why indulge in it. right now i'm tired and jetlagged and grumpy, and it all seems so far away. but deep down i can feel the stirring of something wonderful. and i'm almost to afraid to acknowledge it, for fear of yet another disappointment. but never mind, the golden age is here, like it or not, be aware of it or not. it's here!