[DuesTyr]

this thread has gotten a lot of responses - it's a subject dear to my heart(so to speak), having been depressed all my life. i don't think i am anymore, i don't know what happened it's just gone. at least it's gone in the sense that i don't feel hopeless anymore, and i don't feel the pain, but i know that pain aj, having felt it for so many years.

so the only hope i can offer you is that eventually it will go....... can you imagine if we had to endure that emotional pain forever? that would truly be hell, i think i would prefer the physical pain to the emotional one (actually, probably not).

this morning i woke up thinking about not having any friends. i've been through all the blah blah stuff about its me, not them, if i put myself out, i would get it back, be a friend to get one etc etc none of that makes any difference, just like it doesn't make any difference to a depressed person to tell them it will pass, or whatever perky suggestion comes to mind.

it's plain fact that nobody calls me, i have to call them. and when i do call them they make excuses to get off the phone. or when i email them they don't email me back. this has been a recurring theme all my life - nobody likes me and i have no friends. in a way i don't care anymore, just like i'm not depressed anymore. it doesn't matter. and yes, i know all about the law of attraction!!!

the romantic thing, ouch, thats a sore point. you would think after 8 years of waiting it would be clear he doesn't care, to anybody but me, that is.

it doesn't matter because it's all an illusion anyway. and it all passes, so what's the big deal? i've been away from the forum for a few days because i've been busy watching a bunch of whistleblower videos. fascinating stuff. i've known all that stuff for the past 30 years or more, nothing new, except maybe a lot of really interesting details (they're training baboons to attack anyone who gets off the designated roads? please!!....)

it's wonderful to know that whistleblowers are not allowed on this forum. i have no doubt that a lot of what they say is quite true, but so what? sure, i got sucked in for awhile, it was very entertaining, but at the end of the day, here i am with me, having to take the next step, which is quite mundane, gotta get up, go to work, maybe it's time to sweep the floor.

so, i guess i better stop rambling on.... thanks, guys for being here, i'm grateful and touched........