[LClan439]

so i had a rather odd experience this past weekend and would like to share it here to see if anyone has any advice/words of encouragement. let me start from the beginning...

i was brought up in a pretty catholic family (youngest of six children!) in a suburb of kansas city. i lived there my entire life until about 4 years ago, when i relocated to asheville, north carolina at the age of 23. there was no real rhyme or reason to the move, i just wanted to go somewhere new. a friend told me about asheville - somewhere i had never been - and i thought it sounded great, so i moved. only now do i realize that something was guiding me here. since i moved to this wonderful town i have immersed myself in things like meditation, yoga and metaphysics. over the 4 years that i have been here i have made great strides as a person and every day i'm letting go of all the fear/guilt with which i was raised. i truly don't think i could have done this in kansas city. asheville may have saved my soul!

so now that you have the backstory... i went home this past weekend to surprise my parents. i hadn't been back to visit for a year and a half, and i quickly remembered why. so much fear. so much hate. such narrow vision. i'm a college grad waiting tables, and my family seems to be a little frustrated that i haven't found a more lucrative occupation. anymore i'm not worried about becoming rich, i just want to help the world heal. i also know that if i let go of the fear of not having enough and focus on helping others then all will be provided. of course if i tried to comfort them with words such as these they'd think i've lost it. not the case at all, but you see my predicament.

we went to mass on easter sunday (i don't believe any of it anymore, but i went out of respect for my parents) and everyone was celebrating jesus and this and that, but not only a few hours later my father was listening to some political talkshow and at the mention of some liberal guy he said " that guy can go to hell." things like that, coupled with all the fear porn delivered by fox news and the local nightly news had me ready to get back to my sanctuary here in the mountains. i even picked up a pretty nasty stomach bug the last day of my visit and part of me is wondering if my mind was in such shock that it took a toll on my body. it literally felt like i went through a time warp going back there. i don't like to judge anybody, but alot of it just seemed so superficial and self-serving. it was kind of a bittersweet feeling, because it reminded me how much i've grown and let go, but it also reminded me that many people are still caught up in the fear, greed and selfishness. asheville's like my little safety bubble, and sometimes i forget that its the exception to the rule.

so my question for all of you out there who have had similar experiences, is what do you do? i love my family and love to see them, but sometimes it is just so hard to be around them. i'm going back for a week in june and i'm trying to figure out how to prepare myself for that. more importantly, how can i crack the surface? is there any way to open their eyes? i feel that if i bring up anything in the arena of metaphysics, they'll look at me like i'm nuts. so i don't say anything. are they just on their own? any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. blessings to you all.

michael