[deandrecooke]

ain't i already me?

i mean, i came down here for this experience, and like a kid off to college i'm not sure i really want to have to ask the "mom/dad's" help, y'know what i mean?

of course, that's the trick: learning the discretion of when one truly needs to ask.

i don't seem to get voices that are a more substantial version of myself. but there are gems in the thought stream for me all of the time, nonetheless. and i've long been an appreciative student of the value of a well-placed synchronicity.

as well, i work as a chef, and i get to work about 6:30 in the morning. on the weekends i have several hours before anyone else is around. i crank up the tunes (my ipod currently would play for 17.2 days without repeating a song, much of it from the '70's, yes and oregon probably being my favorite bands in the rock to jazz spectrum...) and process information. i am constantly aware of my internal dialogue, to the extent that when i "gossip" or bitch in my head i usually bust myself within moments and attempt to reapply myself to positive, constructive thought. it can be extremely contemplative as well.

and it can be other things too, but, hey, work is work sometimes, y'know?

as well i get to work with people who, in general, are very open to information of the type we always deal with here in this wonderful place. that truly makes it so much simpler to just express who i am.

what i don't get enough of is meds - that is meditation and inner silence. so i guess i could be missing some good advice, but i don't have to expend much energy trying to figure out what is what amongst the "insider's (higher up's)" information!

i feel pretty darn present, and awake. at least awakening, and the most painful pin-pricky tingling in my feet is starting to go away.

from me and my higher me (who's pretty much here now),

love, blessings, and abundance,

frank-o