[no02rSx2]

thank you all for your replies to this thread -- i really appreciate them.


i need to come clean to all of you and disclose something.


this "friend" that i alluded to who is contemplating suicide... is me. i'm the one who is contemplating this fatal option, even though i really don't want to do it. i just wanted to see what you'd think about this by starting this post, but i'm not comfortable not being clean with y'all about hiding behind this "friend" when it's really me.


i had enough physical silver on hand (as of several years ago) to last me well past 2012, but as a result of a series of really stupid and fatal financial decisions, as well as personal decisions, i've destroyed my wealth and have no silver on hand... just when it is now taking off to the moon.


not having silver on hand right when it's taking off was not my plan!


i will not:

1) fill out job apps and do interviews

2) work a payroll job

3) mow lawns


i've always been independent, despite my earlier years of being "helped" by many because of my near-deafness. i still have more to do and contribute in this lifetime and don't want to go, but running out of money and leaving my beloved lake tahoe is more than i can bear. my energy field just does not do well with any sort of daily job -- i do best when i'm free to create and to use my creative skills in what i do. i've had daily jobs before (a total of 2 years of them and i totally hated them; the rest of my work have been running my own bizzies.)


i have very powerful ideas/inventions that i know that would work extremely well for tahoe, so i have a narrow window of opportunity to start to get some demonstration projects going with my brand-new $1,000 chainsaw that i was fortunate to get on a 30-day credit, thanks to the goodwill that i've created with a saw shop with which i did good biz over the years with my always paying my bills on time.


my inventions/ideas will very strongly mitigate the on-going pollution problems that are threatening the loss of the clear, blue tahoe. my pendulum (a very accurate one) indicates that, once fully implemented, my inventions/ideas would successfully prevent 75% to 80% of the urban runoff pollution from reaching the lake. 75% of the current pollution of tahoe is coming from urban runoff. tahoe's aim in achieving their "clarity challenge" is falling behind their schedule, so they are starting to get worried about their progress to keep tahoe clean, let alone blue.


so, starting tomorrow, (nov 8th), i'm going to start to create demonstration projects of my ideas and just do them. i have a few weeks to a month, maybe a month and a half before the snows fall and stay on the ground for the winter down at the lake level (it's snowing right now at lake level, but it's wet and won't stay -- but just uphill, snow is already covering the ground with a foot of snow forecast for today and tomorrow), so i'm going to go at it as if my life depends on it. it does.


there are many, many wealthy people who live at tahoe, so, maybe, a few of them can see what i'm doing and support my being there.


i know why i lost my wealth -- i indulged in too many of the seven sins while i was moderately wealthy and retired. my indulgence in the seven sins has cost me my wealth, possibly my ability to remain retired and maybe my life. i'll do my best to rapidly apply my lessons of not indulging in any of the seven sins from now on. i want to put my lessons into effect immediately and not wait for the next lifetime to implement them.


it's really snowing now, so i gotta run back to my place, as i drove to meet with my atty today. my neighbors have moved out who were my portal to the internet, so i now have to walk one mile to get on the net at the local starbucks, so my internet access will be intermittent at this point. i'd normally be filled with happiness with this kind of first-in-the-season snow, but not today.


i'm sorry to post such a downer of a post, but i'm just crushed with how my life is right now. just totally crushed.