[Lauramalina]

ive been feeling like that for a long while tbh. its a bit like that film the truman show lol although i know i'm not living in a tv set and everyone around me is fake but yes life is a very strange experience.

with the feeling of being on the outside of yourself looking in feeling a bit like a spectator i remember when i was a child, probably my earliest memory tbh which is really weird. i had lived with my gran the first few years of my life and my mother was away doing goodness knows what lol anyway i remember the day she came back for me to take me with her and i was hiding under the sink in the kitchen and didn't want to go with her i can still see the whole scene so clearly in my head and remember i was crying but the weird thing is i can also see it from a different perspective where i can see myself half in the cupboard trying to get away and crying as if i'm standing in front of myself watching myself.

really have no explanation for that at all but its all so clear from both perspectives of being me hiding and seeing myself hiding. i was about 3 years old at the time.