[Argurnenoni]

the removal of thirumangalayam on the death of the husband process as practised in some households is alone one good reason not to have thaali at all.

for the uninitiated, the newly widowed woman, is dressed like a bride, and with all the breast beating and abuse (you can imagine the words), her flowers are pulled and thrown, her sari unfurled, she given white, her thaali pulled and thrown away and above all, in not so distant past, her brother dragged her holding her hair to the waiting barber where she is shorn of all hair.

i still weep for my grand aunt, who at the age of 10 became widowed and had to undergo this abhorrent ritual, while the so called educated men stood by.

what a horrid community. no other group in tamil nadu treats their women with so much abuse. we may not shave the hair now, but the abuse remains - no invitations to sumangali prarthanai, and so many stupid functions of exclusivity.