DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate - View Single Post

**DrKirkNoliss** · 06-08-2010, 02:21 PM

nara,

First, sorry NN and others, I spoke a little too soon, I have just one more thing to say. This speaks to one of NN's concerns, and I am paraphrasing NN, why harp on long gone practices that only make "us" look bad.

let me re-phrase my writings a bit,as its looking enitrely diif as you put it.these practices in tb household is not happening at all.but some families may follow such long gone tradition.my intention is,this is a thread about thirumangalyam,so wearing one makes sense,as its a symbolic representation of marriage.just like wearing a dress is a civilised behaviour.if someone says,why to wear dress,well what can i say?

Two points, (i) it is not long gone, and (ii) being good is the best way to not look bad. i think 60 years back is long gone to me.kindly define,what according to you is good and what is bad?

It is probably true that the most dreadful parts of this tradition like shaving the head etc. are not practiced any more. The educated and affluent TBs have no problem getting their widows remarried, and I applaud that. In this very forum there was a case of a father of a young widow looking for a new lease of life for an unfortunate young lady. sir,maybe as a tb its dreadful for us,becoz its an imposition on our loved women folks.its torture literally.but,if you happen to visit tirupathi venkatachalapathy ,women happily shave their heads for the lords blessings.by and large this nb do it,and men in our tb do it.so,its not something like anathema for our culture,women never shave their heads.that way brahmin women are a minority.

But, the status of a poor widow is still very much a precarious one. I am a personal witness to a young childless widow of a very close confidante of the head of a Brahmnical Matam, who died in a terrible car accident in the course of Matam business, being spurned by the Matam. This happened about 4 years ago. We all know the young man would not have been spurned if the wife had died. sorry to hear,such an unfortunate incident

Strangely enough, the justification that a widower has to marry again for the sake of taking care of the young children, does not apply for the widow, who probably needs help taking care of young kids more than the man. My own grandfather did when my father's mother died in childbirth. i am all for widow re-marriage.chinna veedu set up.

I hope all this is "moot point" like NN claims, but it is still a festering issue. It will be a great day indeed when it really becomes a moot point. i replied,hope you understand my position now.

The second objection that this makes "us" look bad is not a serious one. To look good one must stand up for compassion and justice. Sweeping the dirt under the rug is not the right approach.

Cheers! becoz of compassion and justice was followed,such a system existed.in our conservative society that it became is owing to 1200 years of burqa rules and victorian prudes,some cleverly or deliberately miss,while debating thi significant factor.so sad.

06-08-2010, 02:21 PM	#25
DrKirkNoliss Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 476 Senior Member	nara, First, sorry NN and others, I spoke a little too soon, I have just one more thing to say. This speaks to one of NN's concerns, and I am paraphrasing NN, why harp on long gone practices that only make "us" look bad. let me re-phrase my writings a bit,as its looking enitrely diif as you put it.these practices in tb household is not happening at all.but some families may follow such long gone tradition.my intention is,this is a thread about thirumangalyam,so wearing one makes sense,as its a symbolic representation of marriage.just like wearing a dress is a civilised behaviour.if someone says,why to wear dress,well what can i say? Two points, (i) it is not long gone, and (ii) being good is the best way to not look bad. i think 60 years back is long gone to me.kindly define,what according to you is good and what is bad? It is probably true that the most dreadful parts of this tradition like shaving the head etc. are not practiced any more. The educated and affluent TBs have no problem getting their widows remarried, and I applaud that. In this very forum there was a case of a father of a young widow looking for a new lease of life for an unfortunate young lady. sir,maybe as a tb its dreadful for us,becoz its an imposition on our loved women folks.its torture literally.but,if you happen to visit tirupathi venkatachalapathy ,women happily shave their heads for the lords blessings.by and large this nb do it,and men in our tb do it.so,its not something like anathema for our culture,women never shave their heads.that way brahmin women are a minority. But, the status of a poor widow is still very much a precarious one. I am a personal witness to a young childless widow of a very close confidante of the head of a Brahmnical Matam, who died in a terrible car accident in the course of Matam business, being spurned by the Matam. This happened about 4 years ago. We all know the young man would not have been spurned if the wife had died. sorry to hear,such an unfortunate incident Strangely enough, the justification that a widower has to marry again for the sake of taking care of the young children, does not apply for the widow, who probably needs help taking care of young kids more than the man. My own grandfather did when my father's mother died in childbirth. i am all for widow re-marriage.chinna veedu set up. I hope all this is "moot point" like NN claims, but it is still a festering issue. It will be a great day indeed when it really becomes a moot point. i replied,hope you understand my position now. The second objection that this makes "us" look bad is not a serious one. To look good one must stand up for compassion and justice. Sweeping the dirt under the rug is not the right approach. Cheers! becoz of compassion and justice was followed,such a system existed.in our conservative society that it became is owing to 1200 years of burqa rules and victorian prudes,some cleverly or deliberately miss,while debating thi significant factor.so sad.
	Quote