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**Bobdilan** · 06-08-2010, 07:09 PM

I read the replies to my original post. Thank all for the different types of views. My only doubt is this "Is it fair for a married lady to hang the thaali on the wall nails along with the Upaveetham of her husband(when he is alive of course).

If the above is right, she need not worry about losing the thali when husband dies.

Dear

This thread has generated so much heat and dust already without bothering to involve any woman to get the opinion of them who are concerned directly about the தாலி . Why?

I thought I should involve them and get their views on that. Luckily we had a family function last Sunday where there was big crowd of women of our families

Their opinion from 3 different groups 1 Women who have தாலி (சுமங்கலி) 2 Women who lost their தாலி (Widows) 3 Women yet have Thali(Kumaris or yet to be married) are below

Group 1 (சுமங்கலி ) My wife My D in L 1 & 2 (Age Bet 30 and 60 years)

1) D in L 2. I have not done this and may never do it No advise on this It is personal No guidance solicited or stricture passed

2) My wife I have not done it. But you did it for me! (I remember in 1987 When hospitalized for coma she was in respirator for 2 days with tracheotomy I removed her தாலி and was in my pocket till she recovered). No I have not done it or I think I will do it .It is my conviction.You have say in this .

3) My D in L 1 What cheek? I have done it and I will do it again when there is a need. When I land in US or Europe in mid night all alone before check in to a Hotel I remove my தாலி as well as பொட்டு and lock it in the locker in the lobby. I don"t want to be mugged or robbed I cannot loose my தாலி It is not part of my jewelery or my cosmetic Lakme kit which I can loose. தாலி is more than that with sentiments. Zero tolerance on any guidance or advise on this I can manage my affairs myself.

Group 2(Widows) My 3 sisters one S In L and my M in L(Age Between 60 & 85) The general agreed opinion with slight variation

Never felt awkward to have the தாலி removed after his death The ceremonies related this was not hurting I lost him why not the தாலி?
I cherish this தாலி as a souvenir of his remembrance . I will have it safe not loose it

About பூ & பொட்டு . We all have பொட்டு But never குங்குமம் sort of substitute with sticker etc compulsion of habit or even as cosmetic குங்குமம் they believe has sentiment and sanctity Not comfortable when offered by அர்சகர் to them? Most of them could identify They offer only விபூதி Some times this happens and we take it but not wear it on forehead Take home and put them in the Pooja room

Group3(Kumaris /to be married)

4 girls spread between New York & New Delhi (Below 25) I would definitely have a தாலி for my wedding Why I will have ஊஞ்சல் நலங்கு and all. Real Fun. But தாலி மடிசார் They are different. Sentiments go with them If my wedding is conventional with in the caste fine. Even other wise I would like to have a brahmin wedding தாலி & மடிசார் attended by crowds of my relatives.

I do not see any Upaveetham in this

Jambu

06-08-2010, 07:09 PM	#27
Bobdilan Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 339 Senior Member	I read the replies to my original post. Thank all for the different types of views. My only doubt is this "Is it fair for a married lady to hang the thaali on the wall nails along with the Upaveetham of her husband(when he is alive of course). If the above is right, she need not worry about losing the thali when husband dies. Dear This thread has generated so much heat and dust already without bothering to involve any woman to get the opinion of them who are concerned directly about the தாலி . Why? I thought I should involve them and get their views on that. Luckily we had a family function last Sunday where there was big crowd of women of our families Their opinion from 3 different groups 1 Women who have தாலி (சுமங்கலி) 2 Women who lost their தாலி (Widows) 3 Women yet have Thali(Kumaris or yet to be married) are below Group 1 (சுமங்கலி ) My wife My D in L 1 & 2 (Age Bet 30 and 60 years) 1) D in L 2. I have not done this and may never do it No advise on this It is personal No guidance solicited or stricture passed 2) My wife I have not done it. But you did it for me! (I remember in 1987 When hospitalized for coma she was in respirator for 2 days with tracheotomy I removed her தாலி and was in my pocket till she recovered). No I have not done it or I think I will do it .It is my conviction.You have say in this . 3) My D in L 1 What cheek? I have done it and I will do it again when there is a need. When I land in US or Europe in mid night all alone before check in to a Hotel I remove my தாலி as well as பொட்டு and lock it in the locker in the lobby. I don"t want to be mugged or robbed I cannot loose my தாலி It is not part of my jewelery or my cosmetic Lakme kit which I can loose. தாலி is more than that with sentiments. Zero tolerance on any guidance or advise on this I can manage my affairs myself. Group 2(Widows) My 3 sisters one S In L and my M in L(Age Between 60 & 85) The general agreed opinion with slight variation Never felt awkward to have the தாலி removed after his death The ceremonies related this was not hurting I lost him why not the தாலி? I cherish this தாலி as a souvenir of his remembrance . I will have it safe not loose it About பூ & பொட்டு . We all have பொட்டு But never குங்குமம் sort of substitute with sticker etc compulsion of habit or even as cosmetic குங்குமம் they believe has sentiment and sanctity Not comfortable when offered by அர்சகர் to them? Most of them could identify They offer only விபூதி Some times this happens and we take it but not wear it on forehead Take home and put them in the Pooja room Group3(Kumaris /to be married) 4 girls spread between New York & New Delhi (Below 25) I would definitely have a தாலி for my wedding Why I will have ஊஞ்சல் நலங்கு and all. Real Fun. But தாலி மடிசார் They are different. Sentiments go with them If my wedding is conventional with in the caste fine. Even other wise I would like to have a brahmin wedding தாலி & மடிசார் attended by crowds of my relatives. I do not see any Upaveetham in this Jambu
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