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Dear One,

Iam in love with a guy who is belonging im my gothram pls clarify is there any possibilities to get marry in formal traditional way but we dont like to do all the marriage procedure done by girls uncle i would like to do all the procedure by my father especically kanigathanam. we are having deep faith about our veda & sastram and i am thinking that iam doing wrong but he is staborn on his opinion eventhough he knows sastras & vedas.always mind is not peaceful. if we get marry in traditional way how it could be done any special procedure for this? because in marriage ceremany changing of gothram is important if in this situation we are in same gothram so no need to change. any one knows these details pls let me know in detail. and also pls clarify if we get marry is that against to our sastras because i dont like to override our sastras pls clarify

The moment you post this question, it is obvious that you had to clarify on what you believe as you follow some Patten of custom and tradition! Appreciate it! You can deal it in three ways:
1: Seeking the advice from the right person (your parents/family members)
2. Seeking the right person (Like the person well versed in our dharma saastras, i heard a person in Kancheepuram Matt he could clarify any doubts on our saastras)
3: Follow your own "conscience".

To the best of my knowledge based on what I have heard saying by my Grand Father (Yajna Venkatrama Ghanapaadigal) There is a praayaschitam (aabhad praayaschitam) for Sagothra Maariage if it is known at the last moment! But Iam not sure how it will work if that aspect is known well in advance...

If you want to know more about Gothra and other related stuffs, there was a thread extensively discussed on this matter: http://www.tamilbrahmins.com/showthread.php?t=109

Regards
R Venkatraman