I hate Bob Sanders
 

And these stupid Chuck Norris rip-off jokes...

• 70% of the Earth is covered by water. The rest is covered by Bob Sanders.
• Indy's Defense is called the Cover 2 because the team is only responsible for covering 2 people. Bob Sanders covers the rest.
• Bob Sanders invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Brady invented pink.
• If he could be any Care Bear, Bob Sanders would still be Bob Sanders, and when you hugged him he'd tackle you for a seven yard loss. They'd call him Kick Your Butt Bear, and there'd be a picture on his chest of him kicking your butt.
• If you say "Bob Sanders" three times while looking in a mirror, you'll feel pretty stupid. Then Bob Sanders will rush through the door and tackle you for a four yard loss.
• When Justin Timberlake brought Sexy Back, Bob Sanders was already there, and he hit Justin so hard he now goes by the name Kevin Federline.
• It was once thought Bob Sanders lost a fight to a Bear. But that was a lie created by Bob Sanders himself to lure more Bears to him.
• They once renamed a street after Bob Sanders, but they had to change it back. Too many pedestrians died crossing it. Nobody crosses Bob Sanders and lives.
• They were going to release a Bob Sanders edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Bob Sanders / In the backfield / with a spear tackle"
• A true quote from Bob himself: "I always thought that if I didn't feel it, the other person was hurting more. But I've realized over time that if I hit somebody and it hurts me, it hurts them even more."
• Bob Sanders is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry; the man ate the Chiefs.
• Bob Sanders once looked at Edgerrin James funny. That's why EJ's in Arizona.
• There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Bob Sanders allows to live.
• Bob Sanders puts the laughter in manslaughter.
• LaDanian Tomlinson wears a tinted visor so that he will never have to look Bob Sanders in the eye.
• Tom Brady can throw a football pretty far. Bob Sanders can throw Tom Brady even farther.
• Bob Sanders frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

That first one is a ripoff from something Fred Smoot originally said.

i like bob sanders, but to be put in same category as chuck norris is blasphemy.

Cole Hamels had these come out way before Sanders did. Sanders is no Hamels.

If Chuck Norris about all of these rip-off Bob Sanders jokes he'd kick Bob Sanders' ass.

bobsandersfacts.com?

fred smoot didn't originate that

before smoot some center fielder said it, drawing a blank...i think it's been ripped off a number of times, i wonder who originally said it

Agreed. But some of those are funny.

I just don't think Chuck would agree.

I had never heard it before, I would like to know who originated it.

He only wishes.

fernando bryant originated it

The guy that plays for the Lions? Really?

yes

Some of these are awesome! LOL!!!!

I love Norris jokes, some are so retarded they are hilarious.

When Justin Timberlake brought Sexy Back, Bob Sanders was already there, and he hit Justin so hard he now goes by the name Kevin Federline. Classic

Right, that might be the best one, lol.

Are you sure? I know I remember it being said about Deion Sanders back in the day.