[domeffire]

You say you are mad about her, and that makes you extremely vulnerable Chris and this is not a good way to try and establish a relationship. I suspect you have shed tears over her already! I think you know in your heart that there is no chance of a sustainable relationship with this girl, one based on love and mutual respect. I repeat Chris, she is using you!!

[VipInoLo]

Chris, you got two feelings, there's your gut feeling and then there's your emotional feeling of need and want from your head. you gut always tells the truth, you know the truth, it's you guts unemotional reality which is the truth fighting your wants which is your emotional head. Use you gut to direct you and not your head. The reality, woman don't take 2 years to fall in love, they take 2 days, if it takes any longer there using you, if there asking for money then there exploiting you.
What is the reality in this relationship: she has a friend, but you don't have a friend. A one sided relationship is nothing.
Get your self a real woman that respects you. I personally had a relationship with a Thai woman once, some are good and some are bad, mine was bad. Physical I don't mind the Thai woman but on character more often I would chose your own English rose.

[NiliSpuppypax]

Hi all, i really need some good and honest advice. I am friends with a thai girl where i live, i have known her nearly two years but friends is all we are, and if i am being honest the friendship, in the main, is only on my side.She knows how i feel about her, i tell her often enough but she says she is not ready for anything else. I have met other thai people through her and they are nice kind people and have asked for their help in trying to understand her. She has been in abusive relationships in the past and im not sure if this is a reason or not that she is reluctant to commit. I was told that it takes a long time for a Thai girl to fall in love and im sure she doesn't want to make the same mistake again.I would wait for as long as i takes but things begin to creep in my mind and doubts are eating away at me. Unfortunatly there are other factors with my doubts. I am just an ordinary guy with an ordinary job and have got myself into a mess because i have given money to her for all sorts of things and she is constantly asking for more and its not just £10 or £20. I have read stickman and am aware of the horror stories but i try to block them out, her friends have been of help but i am always aware of where their loyalties lay.when i talk to these friends is with a genuine need to know and not just idle curiosity for her reasons. there is another thing that is playing on my mind my friend was married once to a man 20 years her senior whereas i am only 6 years older than her ( 39/45 ) and all her friends are married to much older men and they all lead seperate and i mean seperate lives to their husbands and that is not what i want, i want a relationship that is both psyical and spiritual, the truth is that i am totally and utterly crazy about her and am at my wits end she wont talk to me about my fears just saying that i am acting like a child. Sorry to have gone on so long but i need somebody elses perspective on this,thanks in advance C

[brraverishhh]

I don t think re relationship would work out.
As Surawut said she is using you .

[Marinausa]

She wasn't exactly subtle about the whole thing being a sham though. Kick her to the kerb and find a nice girl. It's not hard to do.

[NiliSpuppypax]

Thanks for your honest answer I have spent the last half hour reading other peoples posts about doubts they have and the replies they get saying they are unfounded i have tried to meet and get to know her daughter ( who has more of an english culture even tho she is full thai ) and her friends i suppose in an attempt to force her into developing a conscience about what she does to me ( if that makes any sense ) her friends are lovely people and i dont want to throw away a chance however small that something could happen. i suppose that makes me rather sad and desperate.

[NiliSpuppypax]

i know. thank you.

[NiliSpuppypax]

Thank you to the people who took time to offer advice, i suppose it was what i already knew but having read posts on other threads about how well things had turned out for some people ( I am a 29 yr old fat nerd ) i had hope that those posts offered some hope, but when i mentioned to one of my Thai friends that i had posted on here all sorts of confusion started ending with the cousin of the girl that i was in love with phoning me and hammering home the points that she had always told me about what her cousin was like, but it also lead me to realise that these other people who i had called my friends had been using me for their own ends. i cant explain how i feel now- empty is probably as good a word as any but even that doesn't begin.... i haven't slept much over the last few months and dont know when i will again now I know i have come across as somebody who deserves all this with my own stupidity, but i was only looking for somebody that i could love and care for and to be given back a little of the same. I dont know how people can be so cruel.

[domeffire]

You don't have a relationship Chris, you have a user on your hands!! You are handing out money to her and it sounds like you have got yourself into debt over it. As you say she won't talk about it and calls you childish. What the hell does that make her?? She obviously has no feelings for you except mercenary ones Chris. Read Stickman again and this time pay attention to the myriad other guys who have been in a similar position to you. This is going to end up in tears.....your tears! Cut your losses Chris there is no future for you with her.. Tell her you're not giving her any more money and just see the reaction. I bet it won't be a pretty sight!! Either that or she will become all as sweet as pie overnight in a bid to keep the funds flowing. Don't be fooled.

[pprropeciaaa]

I have met other thai people through her and they are nice kind people and have asked for their help in trying to understand her.C

After two years - If it were me - I would concentrate more on the above - It seldom pays to burn bridges - but maybe time to expand your friendships.