[Caursedus]

Quote[/b] ]I am concerned for Paul_au though, I thought he was going through a healing process until I seen what he really said above. Paul_au you are a 'free-thinker', why do you feel compelled to stick within the bounds of which you are raised? I mean you say you date 'pure' white because that is what you are.

I not just date white woman, I'm most attracted to very fair skin white woman physically more than any other type of woman. A close second is light coloured Asian woman. 3rd on my list are honey skin Asian woman. Black woman, have no physical attraction for me.
I usually go out with Asian woman the most because I like there genteel nature, there cute faces and smooth skin. and that is why I have been out with many Thai woman.

[Casyimipist]

Trangam I really see what Seeker is saying about the loser theory. Actually what you said lies very closely to what Seeker is implying. Quite simply there is a very large number of men who view some other cultures as the 'innocent native' as you put it. Also lying within the same concept is the 'ideal sub-serviant, quiet, heart full of nothing but respect and admiration for the man in her life' idea.

So really your two opinions are very related.

The way sociologists sort the love process out is quite simply, attraction first, infatuation next, then ending in love. In most cases it is only possible to fall in love with someone that you are first attracted to. Worked that way for most people I know personally as well.

Unfortunately this being the way humans work and think, also leads to much heartbreak and failed relationships. People seeking the ideal look as well as personality, of course is not good, but the look is always the start of a relationship. How many of you have said well I kinda thought that he or she was ugly, but I have grown to love them?

Just doesn't happen.

[Podosinovik]

Quote[/b] (paul_au @ Jan. 21 2005,21:03)]Yes I have no doubt you no Thailand better than my self, as I am an international jet setter, that has traveled to Europe, North America, all over Asia many times and before 2002 had only had refueling stopover in Bangkok airport or one Night in Bangkok on the way to Europe. So I have only spent any significant time in Thailand in 2002 and 2004. You may be very opinionated about your views on Thailand, but because of your Xenophobia, you are afraid of the changes you see happening as Thailand is modernizing.
On the other hand I'm embracing the changes to Thailand, as I know it is for the better.

Xenophobia, Mr Paul? I am a foreigner myself . I only started visiting Thailand from Jun 2003 onwards, and average a visit every 2 months (maybe 2 days?), after my friendship with my ex (just talked to her today ) developed into something more. I am sure I go there less often than you do, since you claimed you travelled so much. But rather than go in as a foreigner with crossed arms and criticize the Thai culture, I am happy to embrace it, adapt to it, contribute where I can to the people around me. I am as happy & comfortable eating exotric food (that most thais cannot afford) in a posh restaurant as I am in a "normal" (maybe you would call "dirty") food stall in the local market, eating local "delicacies" that most foreigner would never touch or even dare dream of. I have never seen myself as higher or lower than the Thais I have met or yet to meet (female or male), or I would not be working towards marrying one of them. We are part of one human race. Perhaps I can identify with them more than most, as we are all part of ASEAN. And when I finally achieve my goal (hopefully in 2 years), I would be an employer of Thai people, and there will be no 2nd class people on my team. If anything, I will be actively looking out for Thais that I can groom to run the operation, for they will be my right-hand men/women. I can be myself with them.

How would you embrace the changes, the way you think and act, if I may ask? My intention is to be there with them, and go thru the changes together, for better or for worse, because I intend to be part of them. I have no need to pressure or force them to be what I want them to be, according to my perspective. It does not have to be "My way or the Highway", cos very often there is more than one way to do things. And because I know I still have a lot more t learn about the Thais, including the language, I am at this website.

You are obviously very proud of your travel record, aren't you? Maybe you think you are the only one who travels that much? And if even you do, so what? Ever tried driving from Boston, down south and back up again, then go thru the mid-west and then towards San Francisco, LA, San Diego, stopping up at Toronto, Canada and took 2 months doing that? And spending time meeting people from all over during that period? Few Americans have done that! Frankly your itinerary does not impress me and I believe the same goes for many fellow learners and teachers here.

No point thinking that one is looking if one doesn't see, and no point hearing if one doesn't listen. BTW, is English your 1st language surely? From your written English, I really wonder where you come from. Dun seem to be a born and bred Aussie, yah?

You may think I have a bone to pick? Perhaps, but only because I think you have so much more to learn in life. I stuill think I have a lot way to go - the more I learnt, the more I realised there is so much more that I don't know. Improvement has got to be the biggest room in the world.

[Caursedus]

Quote[/b] ]What I find sad is how society or whatever has encouraged the development of a sort of self-hate in some Thai people, particularly girls who are born with darker skin.

When I used to go out with my light skinned Thai girlfriend in Thailand, quite often she used to bring her friend along, She always used to mention, she (my girlfriend) have yellow skin and her friend had beautiful honey skin. Until she mentioned it I had not noticed there were yellow skin and honey skin people in Thailand, but she used to mention it all the time, she say my friend have beautiful honey skin they yellow skin, she always tell me her honey skin friend lacked confidants, maybe, that's why she say she have beautiful honey skin. I always thought at the time it was unusual to mention the different shade of brown on Thai people.
Does any one think my girlfriend had a superiority complex about her own skin.

[Knillagrarp]

Quote[/b] ]It is because they have a pre-set preconceived notion that the Thai women are not as strong willed.

Wow, are these guys in for a surprise. My wife bosses me around like a drill instructor sometimes. Even though she doesn't work outside the home, she is the boss of everything that takes place inside the home. She also has a lot to say about how we spend our money. Nobody can stretch a dollar better than she can. I am very bad at managing my own money.



As for who is or isn't a "loser"... my mother always told me that if you don't have something nice to say about someone...
It's just that the stone throwing can get out of hand, so why start?

[Casyimipist]

As a side point to clarify my standing on the issue and generalizations made on both parts of the men and the women, I would like to say a few things.

First one must understand the type of person Seeker was speaking about. I can only assume he is talking about the 'losers' who spend their time in PatPong, enjoying the 'night-life' that certain areas offer. This person is a loser not because of what they are doing so much as what they are not doing.

They are not trying to experience Thailand and the many things the country has to offer. They are interested in one thing in Thailand and that is nearly it. They do not make any attempt to learn about the Thai people or language, with of course exception to the word Tao Rai. Nor do they care about the well-being of the Thai ladies as they often choose not to protect anything, in any way.

These people are losers, anyone who denies this really needs to question themselves as to why they are at a place like this website instead of yahoo.com

Obviously the man who marries a Thai woman is not the loser that we are speaking of. As a matter of fact, I am sure that even Seeker may find a lovely young woman to have him as a husband. That certainly would not put Seeker in the place deserving the title loser. We know he has gone much deeper into the culture to deserve such a title.

But the title loser certainly does apply to a large majority of men in Thailand currently and those holding tickets, saving their money to enjoy each and every night of their getting things and doing things they can not do in their home land.

I agree with your last paragraph Visionchaser, that is why I felt the need to reply with above. The people who use these forums clearly are not after one thing in Thailand. We all dig very hard into the culture, I think it was important to make it very clear that there is a difference in the man who is married to a Thai woman, and the man 'in search of a Thai wife'.

[UnduttRit]

Since arriving in Thailand a long long time ago, no other question has been put to me as often as this one:

Why do the Farang only like dark-skinned girls?

I find it quite difficult to answer this question because im not sure if it is generally true or not. Is it just that the guy can not find any other girl (who is not dark-skinned) to be his girlfriend??

Or is it true that most Farang are bored of fair-skinned girls as that is all they ever see back home? and dont find the Thai-Chinese attractive.

Please give us some opinions so I that I will be able to give the Thais a decent answer the next time I am asked!

[Farson]

Quote[/b] (prajantr @ Jan. 18 2005,00:22)]On the idea of attraction - I think possibly it is that the exotic catches the eye.

Having grown up in the US, I have had many guy friends tell me that they have a taste for dark-skinned women because the exotic look catches their eye. The combination of golden brown or black skin with silky black hair and deep dark eyes is something that catches their eye.

Of course, I also think that in places like the Middle East or Africa, a woman with porcelain white skin and blond hair would be an exotic sight that would catch the eye there.

It's just my "2 cents" - but I think the initial attraction is an interest in the exotic. What it develops into is more and depends on how the relationship goes from that initial meeting.

Exactly my thoughts ! lol I wanted to post that as well

I would like to add that imo it also depends on whether you are living in a multicultural society or not. I think it matters whether you get used to living amongst different 'exotic' cultures or perhaps never have seen one before.

Personally I slightly prefer dark-skinned women, but that doesn't mean I don't like the light-skinned ladies. Actually, I like 'em all

[Derrida]

Quote[/b] (paul_au @ Jan. 21 2005,16:03)]as I am an international jet setter, that has traveled to Europe, North America, all over Asia many times and before 2002 had only had refueling stopover in Bangkok airport or one Night in Bangkok on the way to Europe.

Jet setter. How amusing.
Forgive me if I think perhaps the term xenophobia is not what yu had in mind, perhaps simply a fear of change is what you would prefer to indicate or a fear of progress?

However, I think that progress is most definitely happening, and in a good way - slowly and steadily with permanent changes for the better rather than quick and traumatic changes that will soon revert back to a lesser way of thinking. I also think that a strong respect for tradition and the values upon which the "old ways" are based helps to balance the changes and keep an inherent respect for people in the changes that are occuring in Thailand and around the world.

I get the impression that you, paul, prefer the materialistic and financial aspects of change with a preference for a woman who can be of less expense for you but still remain tractable and pleasing. Perhaps I am wrong, but this is the impression.

I believe progress can be many other, less petty things.

[Patgaepx]

As much as I'd like to add my two cents to this hot topic, I have recently discovered that I am quite unable to answer the question as I am neither fully farang or fully Asian. Yes, that's right, I'm Canadian as they come (beer swilling, hockey-stick wielding, donut demolishing machine!) but being raised in a Filipino household and having dark-skinned parents makes me what we call around these parts, a 'Potato' - you know, brown on the outside, all white on the inside.

Living in Canada, where multiculturalism is embraced and has really fluorished over the years, I've had the opportunity to meet, befriend, and date people from every continent; in my High School years, it wasn't uncommon for me to walk around and hear 10 or 15 different languages being spoken in the halls. If I've learned anything from the cultural experience in my own back yard:

1 - Every culture is rich with lessons that are waiting to be revealed if one opens their eyes to them.
2 - Nearly every woman has a feature which I will find attractive.
3 - Chicks respond well to massage.
4 - The line, 'Have y'ever kissed a Canadian?' when delivered honestly and with just the right amount of 'liquid courage' works wonders.

I don't want to get in the middle of the debate, so I'll leave my two cents at that for the time being. I've got bigger fish to fry in the form of heading to my favorite sushi place with a few Scottish lasses and their slim, single, Argentinian roomies.



PS - Paul, I don't know you personally and therefore don't have an opinion of you, but if you're worried that I'm going to pay for them and therefore become 'whipped,' don't you worry one bit. I'm receiving a free dinner tonight as payment for my continued massage services.

The magic fingers will come out, tonight!