[Caursedus]

My girl knows how hard I work and she especially knows how dangerous my job is.

Your endangering your life every day to make a living, Well why should you work in a dangerous job or in a drudgery, to give your money to some one else you hardly know, specially when they could take a dangerous job them selves if they really wanted the money, let them die for there own money.

[vladekad]

Vintage - I don't think that should happen. You will have massive amounts of falangs not knowing in the slightest on how much to give and possible will disrespect the family (future in laws) with the amount given. I think that there should be mediated circumstances because I have heard of the horror stories and Thai women running away from their familes just over this. But the concept that the parents give back the money to start the marriage seems like a good idea.

[Caursedus]

But wood this Thai lady still have married you if you did not pay this Sin sod, you will never know, by paying a half million baht incentive.

[DownloadMan]

Why would that make any difference??

[DownloadMan]

It is not the son in law that supports the family, it is the children help support their old parents.
Sin Sod is not set up to support the parents, and it is mostly set at the grooms ability to pay and is a show of good faith.
If the folks are ni need then they usually sell some land, either to the kids or just for money.
We have bought land from my mother in law.
If it is a farang then he usually is in a better shape to give a little more than the other kids if there is a need, but is not a rule of custom.
And Sin Sod is generally returned, so has nothing to do with lasting need.

[Lorionasodi]

But wood this Thai lady still have married you if you did not pay this Sin sod, you will never know, by paying a half million baht incentive.

What a dumb and smug statement!!!
I discussed the sin sod with her and her parents. It was not a one way discussion. But unlike some people who meet a girl on holiday, fall in love and then plan a marriage while at home waiting for their next holiday, we lived together as a couple for 2 years. I pushed for the marriage. My wife was happy for us to stay as we were living in Bahrain. I wanted to move back to thailand and it was not acceptable for us to live as an unmarried couple in her village. No she would not have married me without paying that much as she, (and her family), already knew my income. But you seem to think i was forced to pay the money. I was very happy to pay and if my family are ever in need in the future i would happly help them out again.

[parurorges]

Vintage - I don't think that should happen. You will have massive amounts of falangs not knowing in the slightest on how much to give and possible will disrespect the family (future in laws) with the amount given. I think that there should be mediated circumstances because I have heard of the horror stories and Thai women running away from their familes just over this. But the concept that the parents give back the money to start the marriage seems like a good idea.

One would also assume that the amount given would be more a show of what the man was capable rather than a price he is paying for the daughter as though she were the property of her parents being offered to the highest bidder. Since the money should be returned to help the couple the amount given should in theory be irrelevant as the parents would not be getting it. I can see how this system easily becomes taken advantage of when the groom becomes a more apparently wealthy farang.

[Caursedus]

Would you have been able to live with her in the Thai village peacefully with out marrying her, I think not, so you had to pay the Sin Sod to get married and to live in the village peacefully, not a choice freely made by you, but a choice forced upon you, by the Thai in-laws rigid social structure, that has not even considered your culture by being a little flexible, by meeting your culture half way. I believe most Thai families would be a little more flexible than yours if they were marrying into another culture, and consider your cultural back ground. . May be if you don't have any parents to support, you could have given the money to one of your poorer relatives on your side, put it towards your old age or even better given it to a charity that assists malnourished and diseased children in Africa.
By the way, I impersonated a farang battler, when I met my Thai girlfriend, and when she thought I was impoverished she did not want to know me, so my test got rid of my woman and I discovered her true colours
By the way I have given more than 480,000 baht to charities in my life time, my Thai girlfriend got very little in financial incentive from me, which was a test to see if she wanted me for money or not. The problem is you flaunted your wealth and she has been spoilt, so you will never know if she wants you for your money or for your self.
I believe she loves you, but you never know once you start supporting a woman financially.

[reervieltnope]

I always get a big kick out of how any kind of forum that starts out about marriage or engagement degenerates into Sin Sod battles and how one should bend ones self to the others culture wars.

Seeing how my wife's parents have used the Sin Sod to up their standard of living, invest for their families future and the happiness it brings my wife has brought me more joy than having the money or giving it to one of my family members.

[DownloadMan]

Yea Rikker, I got some swell inlaws too, they said forget about a sin sod, just take good care of our daughter, coarse she had been married before and divorced, had a couple of kids, one grown and the other in school, they donated to us the land to build on plus had given my wife property for farming and we grow trees for harvest on the land, plus we have land up on the mountain in case we want to build another house there where the weather is cooler.

[DownloadMan]

Just how in the hell do you know what is going on here, you have never lived here, never had a real association with any Thai, woman or man, Damn sure never married to one so it is a cinch that you know nothing about divorcing one.
You know nothing about sin sod or what happens to it or how a farang is treated.
In fact just by your use and spelling, context and terminology, you know very little about anything, but still you who really know nothing is the very first to give advice.

[DownloadMan]

She most likely would have seeing as they had been living together in the mid east for 2 years..

[Caursedus]

And Sin Sod is generally returned, so has nothing to do with lasting need.

And that is the problem, "Generally" does not mean always, and when your a farang, it will mean almost never, as if you are given land, it cannot be owned in your name, so will be given to your wife even though you worked hard and sacrificed for that money, so if in the 50% odds that you separate it will all go to your estranged wife, who by that time may have become your arched enemy in a bitter divorce.

[sestomosi]

I'm getting married to my girlfriend in May 2007. She is the middle daughter (out of three daughters) and both of her parents are deceased. I'm unsure if I'll even pay sinsod in the first place. My girl told me I would pay something then they would give it back to us and if THAT'S the case then sure, I can fork over 450,000B - no problem buddy! However, if they plan on keeping that, then there is no possible way I can afford it. My girl knows how hard I work and she especially knows how dangerous my job is.

[Caursedus]

I paid 450,000 baht and i did not receive any back, nor do i expect to. The money is not exactly a great deal for a farang

I think 450,000 baht would be a significant amount for the average farang battler, not a great deal rubbish, it seems a lot of money to me, you can buy a brand new car for that in Australia, I see no reason they deserve that just because there Thai. I think you would have to know your mother in-law at least 20 years before you would give them a brand new car. Next point, have you ever bort your own parents a brand new car for there birthday of Christmas present, does her family deserve such a significant gift, was it her parents that spent hundreds of thousands of dollars bringing you up and putting you through school, know it was not. How about giving you own parents some of your excess money, before giving it away to virtual strangers in comparison to your own parents, after all it was your own parents that got you started in life from there own hard work.
Charity starts at home.

[JoesBro]

"Baht" is also a unit of weight in Thailand:
1 baht= 15.1 grams/.482 troy ounces.
Gold is sold by weight in Thailand with a small mark up for the workmanship.

[themsrsdude]

I paid 50000 baht cash and 6 baht gold, all of which went to my wife. The next day we went to the bank and put all of the cash into her savings account. She proudly wears the gold every day.

As for the wedding, I paid for the meat, fish and beer. The parents paid for everything else.

I agree with Rikker; if the parents demand an exorbitant amount and keep the money for themselves, it is only the beginning of your troubles. You will be viewed as a soft touch and their personal retirement plan. The time to set the rules is on day one!

[Lorionasodi]

500K baht is what you would figure for a hi-so businessman's young, well educated daughter, not some farmers daughter in a village in Issan, here in central a Thai farmer will pay less than 10K for sin sod for his wife.

I agree with you yet again. But i was living in the middle east with my wife for 2 years before we got married. she was handling my accounts for most of that time, (much more efficiently than i ever did!). I am sure you know well enough how rapid the thai verbal communication system is and therefore everyone in my village knows my income. How disrespectful would it be if my sin sod was the equivalent of just a few hours work?

Do you know many people having say finished college that would give away that much and say its not a big deal?

I don't know any graduating student that would say that, however i am not in that situation and i said i considered how much a thai guy would pay in MY position.

[Caursedus]

Why not encourage her to save her own money, if she putts in $2 you put in $1, then that will help her become financially securer, if you just give her money, she will just become a dependant, that is not financial security.

[Lorionasodi]

Thai pay sin sod when they are being married, so why should a farang be any different and refuse to consider it.
If you do not like our customs and ways then you can always stay home and we will get along just fine from never having had to see you or put up with your shit..

I have to agree here 100%. when i got married i negotiated the sin sod with my wife and her parents. I took into account how much a thai guy would pay if he was in my position. I paid 450,000 baht and i did not receive any back, nor do i expect to. The money is not exactly a great deal for a farang and haggling over something like this when you consider the difference in income between the farang and the thai family he is marrying into is disrespectful.
For those of you who are ready to shout that everyone will be asking me for money or hospital bills for dying grandmothers or lame buffalos it hasn't happened. I paid the bill for one of my familys sick cows once, (i offered before i was asked), the bill was 450 baht.