[WertyNtont]

I notice a big difference between Thai manners and the behavior of westerners. Does anyone else notice this difference? Whereas many westerners lose their temper and argue in public, I rarely see this with Thais. I also find that Thais are hesitant to give direct negative feedback and will say that things don't bother them, or that they like a gift you have given them, even if it is not totally true. Westerners seem to be more blunt and less concerned about hurting someone else's feelings. Is it just me?

[LomodiorCon]

I see it too. Thai people try not be angry, else they feel ashamed of their weakness (angry=weakness). They see strentgh in being composed, I think. This I think is the way they deal with life out of home and friend's circle. But I think within their close circuit they may be very open in their views. This is my speculation... I wonder if its true...

This is also a trait I see among all Buddhist people. In my place we have many people from Tibet. And I have met Buddhist from Sri Lanka too. They all 'choose' to be polite when dealing with people when in public and the way you describe.

But among Westerners, what I little experienced, I feel people from US, Australia & Britain choose to be more upfront about whatever they think. When they see something which they think is wrong they think its perfect to change it soon. And that could end up anywhere. When I come across the Scandanavian people they also try to remain quite shy about being negative. They are quite ready to conclude 'this is how it is out here. So that's it. End. ". Well... that's my general judgements.

[cheapphenonline]

My take on this is that Asians especially the more conservative nations tend to hold back negative comments even when they feel adversely to a particular topic.

Whereas Westerners are more frank and direct about their feelings even when it's at the expense of others. While Asians value tactfulness, I suppose Westerners value frankness...I may be wrong though. I guess Thais are brought up to be more mild-mannered.

[Dodoerabe]

I agree that westerners have more temperment and certainly don't hold their words back.
Asian believe in being polite and no ruining self image. PERHAPS THAT IS WHY THAILAND IS A HAPPY PLACE.... people don't get caught up in arguements!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (the way I see it, why waste your life fighting... just smile -laugh and enjoy your lifetime)

[Caursedus]

I used to work in the Emergency department in a major Sydney Hospital near the international airport. I remember an asian man who came in who had badly cut his leg with a chain saw, he bandaged his own leg at home and came into the hospital and sat quietly in the waiting room patiently waiting his turn, it was not until we removed his bandage we realized how bad his injuries were. This man was to polite to tell the triage nurse that he was badly injured and needed amediate attention, instead some middle eastern persion who had a minor graze to her knee that should not be waisting the time of a major emergency department was screeming and shouting for help. From working in an emergency department I have concluded that in general, the asians are polite patient and well mannered, the westerners are more assertive get strait to the point and give precise details of there condition and do not complain, But the people from the middle eastern background are so rude, get very pushy complain and grosely exaggerate there condition. Just about every time we needed to call security it was because of a middle eastern persion had lost control of there temper over how they perceived there relatives were to be treated. There was so many times where middlestern people were charged by police for causing trouble in my hopital.

[stuck_in_WA]

Being an Asian myself, I suspect that the culture, religion and society that we interact with influenced our growth. I have no doubt about asian countries being conservative.

Singaporeans are becoming more selfish, always complaining and anti-social. I always wonder could it be due to the stress induced by the high rate of progression in the economy. Or maybe it's just me.

I think sparing a thought for others is a virtue. I had seen a thai couple screaming at each other along a street in front of a hawker stall. I guess everyone has their limits, don't try to push it.

[gardenerextraordinaire]

I don't agree with Wanna's perception of Singaporeans at all. I have many nice, kind and simply wonderful friends. However, I will say that there are some quite self-centered people that only do things for their own benfit. But I believe there are "ugly" people in every country. I believe there are also "ugly" people in Thailand as well.

I feel that it is wrong to stereo-type a whole nation of people based on a few black sheep. Every nation has their share of good and bad people.

[Fuerfsanv]

I don't set high standards for my countrymen, prehaps I have not met the kinder people around. Thanks for your compliment on us being perfect, delawang. You are most kind.

[WertyNtont]

I think Americans are just taught to be suspicious of strangers. We teach our young children to never talk to strangers, etc. It is a shame that we feel we have to be that way. I agree with Delawang that Thai people are much more open and willing to engage in conversation with a total stranger. For me, it is very liberating and I have opened up more to people since my trips to Thailand began. Being exposed to the openness made me want to be more open and I am much happier now that I am connecting more with the people around me.

[Caursedus]

I think that Thai people are open and friendly towards you, because of your celabrity statuse. When you enter into that small Thai village as a big time relatively wealthy American, it is the same comparision if I had "Queen Elizabeth ll" come to my house in Australia. In that situration I would be all smiles as well. But I think there is no difference between the reaction of Thai people to other Thai people as in the West to other westerners. I think people are very suspicious of there own kind in the west and in Thailand as every one has been stabbed in the back by a conmam some time and if you look at the crime statistics of Thailand on the net, it is not that much different to the crime statistic of most western countries. So most people have been a victom of crime they lose trust other people in the community. The only country where I have been to where I found genuine trust in the Community is Japan where the crime rate is exstreamly low.

[violetgorman]

It is true that Americans' fear is out of all proportion. It is not just fear of strangers, but fear of crime in general. Frightened people are easier to control and I think the power elite are more interested in contorlling the public in America. Anyone who examines the statistics and calculates the probabilities can see that the chances of being a victim of a violent crime are very slim. We talk about freedom a lot in America, but I feel much more free in Thailand, and I'm not even a Thai citizen.

It's a real shame. Americans will stand together on the street, or sit next to each other on a bus, and never exchange words. You can live next to people and not know their names or anything about them. The person who said, "No man is an island" didn't live in America. There are so many lonely people here who are surrounded by people every day.

[LomodiorCon]

I always think that it really is not such a big problem to be poor as long as we have people we can share our life with. It is really sad to hear visionchaser's description about lonely people. In my personal view , I feel that we also get lonely when we take too much credit or debit for things in our life or give too much credit or debit to others for their lives. (besides other practical reasons). I think we should allow the reason that a lot what happens is only partly in our control even when it maybe oneself who has made the maximum 'visible' efforts. That way we get more humble and ready to interact with all without much judgements. Else our ambitions become our private journey where we think only one person matters.

[Hedkffiz]

I never noticed any difference to Thai manners then people in Australia. When I was travelling around Samrong Samut Prakan going to the local shopping centre everday, at Imperial World, on the back of one of those utility pick up truck type busses, it was quite often full and I would stand on the back, No one offered me a seat and I was happy no one did, as I don't exspect any one to stand up for me and I don't stand up for any one unless there old or have a dissability. I was the only Ferang on these busses, and no one said a word every one was very quiet, I think they were very shy and not speak, apart from this I always travelled with a thai escort or my persional body gard.
Next time I will travelle into a small remote village area of Thailand and see if there is a diffence between the people in small village's and the ones from the big cities.
I have noticed that americans are very friendly when they come to Australia, so I find it stange by the above coments that they not talk in the USA but then again I have never been to The USA.
also about feeling fee in Thailand, that is true, In australia there are speed cameras that book your car for doing 3 klm over the speed limit, and many traffic light cameras that book you all the time. But when I was in thailand, The amout of time the Taxi drivers were speedin past the police at increable speed and they not get booked, It must be an increadable freedom to be able to drive on a road where you not have to look at your speedomiter every 5 seconds to make shore you not get booked.

[cheapphenonline]

I have been to Australia on many occasions as my aunt works as a nurse in a hospital in Sidney, not sure which one though. Sidney is very similar to Singapore in the sense that it is also a metropolitan city. The people also tend to keep to themselves and go about doing their own things. Nothing outstanding friendly. However, when I was in Tamworth town, an hours flight from Sidney, the people in the towns greeted each other even the tourists. Some even offered to take us on a tour of the town. Very very friendly indeed. I guess that's the difference between big city people and small town folks. Maybe it's the same for Thailand.

[cheapphenonline]

I found this article on a website I chanced upon:

Losing Face

Part of the Thai non-confrontational cultures is never to lose face, something Westerners find difficult to accomplish. Although the Thais are getting more used to Western forms of expression, you will lose their respect if you ever exhibit strong emotional scenes. A Thai will never show anger, disappointment or disgust to another person except in the most extreme situations.

You should never raise your voice, lose you patience or get angry as it is seen as a weakness and lack of control and this behavior will get you nowhere. The Thais strive for harmony between all people and things, Jai yen is the term that means cool heart and is a term a compliment hard to beat. For this reason, the Thai smile can mean an assortment of emotions from happiness through to anger.

[Fuerfsanv]

Quote[/b] ]Losing Face

When it comes to losing face, it's a totally different concept. I had been raised to learn that in order to 'save the family's face', you got to work harder, get a good degree and job. Be the best, if not better than those around you. I quote my mum's fave phrase, " You better study hard, don't make me lose face. See Auntie XXX (some neighbor) next block (We live in flats)?, her son is soooo smart, going to be doctor. Don't make me lose face." My immediate response (suggested) is to roll my eyes upwards and shrug it off. I guess it developes the competitve culture in the society.

[WertyNtont]

Social science research has revealed that people from Asian cultures are rarely satisfied with the status quo and are always looking to improve. In the U.S. we have a saying, "Close enough for government work." What it means is that we are more willing to accept something as "good enough," without having to strive for greater perfection. This paradigm has harmed us in terms of our business competitiveness. While the Japanese and other Asian nations were producing products of better and better quality, we were still under the impression that what we were doing was good enough. Also, on average, Asian-American children perform better academically than children from other ethnic backgrounds.

I think a certain amount of pressure to do your best is a good thing, as long as love and approval are expressed too. When success is made a condition of love, problems develop. Many psychological problems are the result of trying too hard to live up to the expectations of others, instead of being true to one's self.

[Caursedus]

It is well known that asian's do better academictly in western univeristies, and this is not only due to a culture of hard work but they have a genetic advantage in a cognitive area or the brain that helps in processing solving information in a mathamatical cence, this helps them in university as it is a repedative learning process of solving learnt problems, that requires no inavation. Westerners have a better cognative skill in another part of the brain that is not as usefull in an accademic sence, This part of the brain is to do with immagination, thats why most of the poets, writers and inventors come from the west. Westerns are more inavative and inventive like most inventions from the basic inventions to the most safisticated electonics where invented by westerners where the Japanes do not invent any thing, they just improve and develop on other people's inventions by there diligent perfection.
And you can also see the western inovation in a business as most of the worlds top wester self made billionaires do not have a degree, Look at Bill Gates he dropped out of University because he was to imaginative and thought that repetative learning was a waist of time.

[LomodiorCon]

Hi Paul. I think this theory/study works when restricted to the last few 100s years or so till recently.

[WertyNtont]

Paul,
With all due respect, please take a course in cognitive neuroscience. To the best of my knowledge, there is no empirical evidence to indicate that there are biologically based differences in cognitive processing ability between races. If you can produce an article from a reputable scientific journal to substantiate such a claim, I'd like to see it.