[LomodiorCon]

I think most foreigners will get away with complaining, as long as they do not connect the issue or hint at a larger worldview of things... and if they have spent fair amount of time to establish their benevolence. (Something which can take place in a minute depending on different people)

The problem comes when it is cold logic?

I also generally think, people who complain with regard to their idea and ways, without showing any understanding of circumstances of the other and the way things evolve, are always hard to argue with or agree with.

A lot of things which are confused with culture are often really about circumstances. A lot of people would behave otherwise as soon as their circumstances change?

Just my wild third-party theories....

[doctorzlo]

Trangam I agree with that. Complaining is one thing, but complaining while comparing to the way another country does things is simply a degrading way to speak. This applies more so if you are sitting in a country that is hosting you rather than your own country. For a foreigner to complain to a Thai person about the way something is done or not done always looks as though you are simply finding a way to talk trash about Thailand. The real problem is rarely going to be taken into consideration at all.

Consider the idea of host and guest. Certainly a prospective son-in-law would not go to meet her parents and be critical of the way her mother cooks, or her father's consumption of alcohol would he? I think it is very much the same in this case. Simply a courtesy, if nothing else out of respect for not having closed borders.

[DownloadMan]

But not all, as if the father is a drunk and alcoholic, there is ways to arrest this disease [yes alcohcolism is a disease] a very progressive disease, and there is help if it is wanted.But that help is thru education and talking is a good way to start.

My pet peeve is the Thai enforcement of written laws. and especially traffic laws that are made in the interest of public safety, Now before you start the usual Farang cry that policemen are underpaid, They have a lot of policemen on the payrolls here, and most never do anything except set in an air conditioned box or in the shade and play cards or sleep, when ever they do anything it is money taken and into the pocket.
There are alot of traffic deaths here every year that could be prevented with enforcement, money could go into public coffers if tickets were written and the payments made to authorities instead of the cop holding his hand out.
A bus is wrecked because of dangerous driving habits and when they take the injured and dead away, no one seems to know who was driving the bus because as soon as it had happened, the driver broke and ran and none are ever stopped for such habits.
A cop was trying to get 200 baht from me [a 70 year old man] because of no helmet, while dozens of scooters went by us with 2,3,0r 4 people on them [school children with no helmets] and he didn't even look at them when it is unlawful to ride a scoot with no helmets or more than 2 on a machine, and when I asked about helmets on passengers, I was told, "OH Yes it is the law, but we don't enforce that law" but they do in Pattaya.

That is my bitch, it would be different if cars or motorcycles were not available but they are, they have fleets of yellow and brown sedans for hyway law enforcement, but I have never saw anyone stopped on the hyway, and you never see the cops patrol the hyways unless they are running blocker for a van load of VIPS and not there for enforcement.

[doctorzlo]

Those are excellent examples. Examples of kindness we all would do well to consider and try to emulate on this forum! That is the hospitality Thailand is known for, not the plastic fronted smiles in the bars as they get your credit card.

The genuine Thailand, the everyday average person willing to do what is virtually unheard of in Western society. They do it all and to gain what? That good feeling of knowing they helped somebody.

[uaodnabnjz]

Think twice before you gripe about Thailand
KRIENGSAK NIRATPATTANASAI
Bangkok Post, Monday March 20, 2006

'Khun Kriengsak, thank you for your time. I've learned more about business in Thailand from this two-hour session than I had learned by myself in the past six months," says Bill, a new client, after we finish our first executive coaching session.

"You're most welcome," I smile.

Bill mentioned Bridging the Gap and asked: "You've written the Bridging the Gap column for five years but your book has only 15 stories. What about the rest?"

"There are almost 300 stories. I selected about 80 columns that I think had good response based on e-mail from readers. You can see more on my website. Here is one that I wrote in the first year.

"It was prompted by an e-mail from a Thai reader, citing several occasions on which foreigners complained about Thais, the Thai government, the country and infrastructure in front of Thais."

Since most Thais are generally forgiving people, she said, we do not argue or debate with the foreigners. Some of us are not assertive enough to debate or might not like confrontation.

The reader's concern was that by keeping our mouths shut, Thais might be giving foreigners the impression that we agree with their statements or that it's acceptable to complain. In short, she was not happy with that approach.

She thought I could be a channel to advise foreigners on acceptable ways to raise valid complaints or criticisms. I had not given the subject much thought before _ if anything, I had been a complainer too.

Surprisingly, on most of those occasions, foreigners were the ones who suggested that I look at another perspective and be more open. It's likely that if another Thai had been present, he or she would not be happy on hearing me complain about my countrymen's shortcomings. Given the current resurgence of nationalistic feeling, I should indeed be more careful.

I had lunch with a friend who mentioned a similar scenario. The occasion was a meeting she attended with her Malaysian boss who was discussing matters with a Malaysian client.

Turning away from business, the Malaysians began to nin-ta (gossip) about Thai people. They complained about commitment, attitude and other negative qualities they perceived in Thai staff. They seemed to have ignored the fact that they were in the company of a Thai, though my friend's Chinese looks might have led them to believe she was Malaysian or a Singaporean. She was not comfortable, and felt the two foreigners were insulting her.

In a nutshell, don't complain about Thais just because you are living in Thailand. Look at both sides of a coin. I have heard a lot of positive feedback about Thais from foreigners. I am sure you also have heard some too. Whenever your colleague starts to complain, offer some positive stories to balance the scales. Consider these examples:

A Singaporean consultant in Thailand for a short project had to travel from his hotel to the company by taxi every morning. On the third day, he had only a 1,000-baht note and the taxi driver did not have enough small change for him.

While he was struggling with the situation, a food vendor walked up and recognised him even though it was only his third day at the office. She offered to lend him 100 baht. The vendor spoke no English and the Singaporean no Thai, but they managed the situation smoothly.

The Singaporean went to the office, borrowed some small notes from a friend and went to repay the woman. He also bought some food and from that day on became a loyal customer of the vendor. He told me that if a similar situation had happened in Singapore, he didn't think he could rely on the kindness of a vendor.

An American woman, who had been working in Thailand for a few months, went to Kanchanaburi one weekend. An avid cyclist, she rode nearly 50 km from her resort to the town. She hadn't expected to ride so far and was exhausted, so she decided to return to the resort by bus. She sought out the tourist police near the River Kwai Bridge and found them very friendly. They spoke English very well, and carried her bike in a police truck to the bus station.

They bought the bus ticket for her (she paid, of course) and made sure she went to the correct bus. They asked the name of the resort where she was staying. A few hours later, the police called to confirm that she had returned safely.

Little things, perhaps, but they can add up to a lot and leave a powerful, positive impression.

Kriengsak Niratpattanasai is the founder of TheCoach, specialising in executive coaching in leadership and cross-cultural skills. Copies of previous columns are available at www.thaicoach.com. He can be reached at 02-517-3126 or coachkriengsak@yahoo.com

[12Cickprior]

The end of the school year again in Thailand and i know of two Farangs who have just lost their teaching positions at a school in town because of.......'too much complaining'

One of the reasons i have always done pretty well in regards to having plenty of extra work to do (= extra money) is because i bicker less than most ex-pat teachers!

Sure, i have been in the firing line before with "You and your Thai-style mai pen rai attitude".

It seems like there are are two types of long-termer ex-pats in Thailand, ones who just give up complaining so much and become more Thai-like, and ones who complain more and more as time goes on.

[uaodnabnjz]

During the orientation for new foreign teachers at our school, one of the first things I say to them is DO NOT complain or comment on anything to the Thai administration. I tell them that the only people that they can complain to are myself and their fellow foreign teachers. The teachers that believe me last longer.