[Angeheade]

hehe, yeah... now when I talk to her I have thai2english.com ready on my computer... I can type fast so sometimes I can keep up with my convo... the only problem there is that I can't pronounce all the words right hehehe

Still, she gets a kick out of it- she'll usually just end up giggling while I try to pronounce the word, then eventually tell me how to say it once she realizes what it is I'm attempting to say!

[Alex Photographer]

Is it a cell phone?

Try 011666XXXXXX for a cell phone or 01166citycodewithoutzeroXXXXX for a land line phone.

[TainuibeFaimb]

Xyan, Glad to hear you were able to get through and welcome to the forums. I wish you the best of luck with your new relationship. I can attest that such relationships are difficult, but mine is a success. Do you plan to return to Thailand soon? Long-distance relationships are rough, and you will have to move pretty quickly if you expect it to last. I met my wife in December and went back to meet the family in May. By the following December I was meeting her at the Miami airport. Togetherness is good

[verybigf]

mikenz66: I saw someone recommend that book in another article... pretty tempted to buy it so I know what to expect- already some things I've read here have me thinking- nothing good or bad, just wondering what will happen next. I appreciate it though! Thanks much!

If you've met a lot of family, maybe you already know what to expect. It's just a book, after all. My copy is quite battered from me reading it at least three times, my friend reading it at least once. And one of her friends claims to have learned a lot from it too... Often when I've been puzzled or confused I've gone back and found something useful in it.

[qilmuz6v]

This page link will give you all the info and answers you or her will need to obtain a visa for a pleasure tourist to come to the USA.
http://travel.state.gov/visa/temp/ty...es_1262.html#3

they sure got a lot of different visas and hard to figure out which one fits,

Filing fee of $100 non refundable with a fee on issue that will be about what an american pays for a Thai visa.

[BUMbaronos]

Visionchaser, how are you getting on with the second half of the paperchase? Or are you done?

[u2ZQGC6b]

The biggest obsticle right now for me is this dang language barrier. In person we were great, very few misunderstandings or problems. Phone-wise... ugh! I'm trying, but man... its crazy.

I know what you mean, and with the problems we experienced last month have discovered that communication is the key to relationships. So what we do now is if we get a problem on the telephone we close the call whilst we each look up words in the dictionary and then I call her again 30 minutes later.

à´ÇÔ´

[Angeheade]

Yeah its a cellphone... I'll try that...

Didn't work, however 011-66-6-0XXXXXX connected partially, but then said all circuits are busy... argh!

Any other suggestions? I truly do appreciate your help!

[BUMbaronos]

But, getting back to the "heart" issues. If you are just spending within your means on visiting her, or having her visit you, and having good experiences, then you don't really have a lot to lose. If it works out it will be great. If it doesn't you still gained a lot, right?

Absolutely right! I travelled backwards and forwards last year having a great time and getting to know a wonderful woman. Now it's a case of her getting acclimatized to the US and then all being well, marrying at the end of March

[qilmuz6v]

XYAN,,,,011-66-6-0XXXXXX would be correct cell number, if you have to dial 011 for the international switch. 66 is thailand,, so guess you did get in but all circuits busy,,so just keep doing it and you will get thru,,but when you do, then her battery will die or she will run out of card or something else will go wrong.

Don't worry about the number count,,lots of numbers have different counts. not just all 7 numbers

Boy Love sure is difficult..

[vladekad]

A very warm welcome to the forum! Hopefully you can learn as much from everyone as we all have. Too I am happy for you and your relationship. It is very nice to see real people connecting and maintaining a real relationship! Please feel free to post any questions or thoughts any time. The longer you are here the more you discover and too the more access to other areas you gain.

You are only at the very tip of the big iceburg, something you will find out soon enough on your own.

[Angeheade]

If you've met a lot of family, maybe you already know what to expect. It's just a book, after all. My copy is quite battered from me reading it at least three times, my friend reading it at least once. And one of her friends claims to have learned a lot from it too... Often when I've been puzzled or confused I've gone back and found something useful in it.

I have met her parents and maternal grandparents. They are all great and friendly- though I have been scolded by her mother for keeping her out too late one night (her father just smiled behind her and gave me a thumbs-up haha).

Its kind of tough because talking on the phone is so difficult- the calls between Alaska and Thailand are terrible to begin with, plus we've lost the ability for body language and pantomiming. Last night was really rough; I was frustrated to no end with the connection quality.

What I hate is I keep getting little bits of doubt on the edge of my thoughts- I keep reading about stories and bad things that happen to the farang boyfriends/husbands. I do know that most good news is never reported and bad news is, yet still... doubt gnaws at me every so often.

I mean, the way I view it is as this:
- I met her while hanging around a little festival thing we had going on in Korat, not at a bar or anything like that- I had/have no interest in sex or prostitutes.
- I met her mother within an hour of striking up conversation with her. I met her father a week later when he came back from a job in Bankok.
- I do know for a fact she is a student at a university. I've seen her books and class homework, as well as spoken with one of her teachers on the phone (slightly better english).
- She's never asked me for money- I generally did pay for things while we went out, but she'd go get me a water bottle or a snack without being asked (I didn't expect even that, since she's a student).
- Her mother and mother's best friend drove my friends and I around for about 6 hours to see Pei-Mai (sp?), a national park, and some other areas around Korat.
- She cried like crazy when I left, and even still on the phone from time to time
- And she has made a lot of effort to call me, using up all her minutes in the process.

I'm not trying to make our relationship public or anything, but I feel like those are good signs. She's always seemed sincere with me.

Her family too; they made us a big dinner but her mom asked that I pay for the drinks. Not a problem- we had quite a bit of beer, a large bottle of some sort of liquor, and several sodas for everyone (6 people). I gave 1,000 baht to her mother who was thankful (she seemed... displeased with 500 baht), but her father was concerned I was paying too much and didn't want me to think they were ripping me off. I know it wasn't worth that much, really, but they did cook a lot of food...

So, I dunno, what are your thoughts? Am I being the fool and blind to love? I've tried to go in with eyes wide open and think that I've been cautious- but matters of the heart rarely are. It may seem silly but I would like some advice and/or words of wisdom from those of you who have been through this or seen this.

Thanks!

[verybigf]

What I hate is I keep getting little bits of doubt on the edge of my thoughts- I keep reading about stories and bad things that happen to the farang boyfriends/husbands. I do know that most good news is never reported and bad news is, yet still... doubt gnaws at me every so often.

Of course, that's the most difficult thing when you don't have a good line, a good grasp of each other's language, and complete certainty about the relationship. There's been a lot of good advice here about getting over some of the technical problems.

But, getting back to the "heart" issues. If you are just spending within your means on visiting her, or having her visit you, and having good experiences, then you don't really have a lot to lose. If it works out it will be great. If it doesn't you still gained a lot, right?

[qilmuz6v]

You said something about email,,do you have her email address? if so send her a mail, that way she will have your addy from the incoming and a translator to iron out the wrinkles. or you could send me a mail with her name and phone number and your e addy, my wife could phone her, get her e addy and make sure she has yours.
Damn phone and limited understand sure is tough, I had that problem years ago when I was writing to a girl in China, I didn't speak mandarin and she didn't speak english but still she wanted to talk on the phone.

[BUMbaronos]

By the way Xyan, $25 for dinner with the family is pretty good. When my fiancee and I had dinner with the in-laws just before we left Bangkok, it ended up being quite a party. The wallet was quite a bit lighter at the end of the night.

Then there was the following night at the local watering hole with all the friends I have made in Bangkok. Glad to get on that plane

[Angeheade]

Well that answers some questions for sure... I was reading the embassy's page on visas and it made it sound like it wasn't that long of a wait. But, from what I can see 'between the lines', and from what you all are telling me, I'd best not get my hopes up about having her come here.

I'll work on arranging a trip to Bankok for her Holiday, then. It would be nice to visit without the problems of balancing my work time and time with her!

Now I just need to somehow put this concept into Thai, haha...

Is there any easy way to say "Its going to take too long for the visa to be approved; let's still work on getting you one, but I'll start arranging a trip for me to visit in April or May"?


Thanks again!

[qilmuz6v]

That does sound like the best way to go tho even with the 100 baht trans. fee, would stop a lot of misunderstand that might really throw a wrench in the gears. and if she is planning on april, it might just be cutting it to thin as I was told that it takes a couple of months for a visa.

[BUMbaronos]

Let me add my two cents worth. After visiting Khorat, I didn't get the impression that it was a tourist city like Bangkok or Chiang Mai where you find tourist bars all over the place. So I wouldn't worry at all about the young lady you have met.

I don't know what the statistics are but its my understanding that a high percentage of Thai's get turned down when applying for a US visa. If you want to continue the relationship my advice would be to jump on that plane as often as work and the wallet will allow. It's easy to see from the comments on this thread and other similar ones that it is far easier for a 'farang' to travel to Thailand than it is for a non-westerner to visit the US.

I have just negotiated the K-1 visa process in bringing my fiancee to the US. It took 7 months from start to finish. It's pretty straight forward if you make sure all the T's are crossed and the I's dotted but the time it takes is frustrating. I am sure it's not much different for some of the other visa types

Good luck with your friend and I hope everything works out for you.

[verybigf]

You are only at the very tip of the big iceburg, something you will find out soon enough on your own.

I'm not sure if the iceburg metaphor was supposed to be a subtle warning, as in the iceburg might sink a relationship if you don't recognize it

Anyway, welcome xyan. You've probably noticed that there are some interesting discussions on relationship issues and language learning on this forum. I hope you can gain (and share) some information.

You may find the bookstore associated with this site at http://buythaibooks.com useful. There are several books and software packages available for Thai language, and for relationship issues I would personally recommend the book "Thailand Fever" http://buythaibooks.com/customer/pro...p?productid=60 which, in spite of the cover and the racy advertising copy, has a lot of useful information about "wholesome" relationships.

I can sympathise with your telephone problems. Even when language is not an issue communicating some things without the body-language signals to aid you can be difficult (and sometimes dangerous...). But better understanding of the language and culture of the other person helps a lot. Good luck!

[qilmuz6v]

You should be OK, so don't worry so much.

Either she will be there on vacation, or if not possible, then you will be back next time, long distance romances are never easy but can be handled.
She hasn't asked for money up to the is point so I think she is for real, and you seem to think she is ok and thats what counts, there are real ladys here as well as the entertainment venue kind. I have one of the best in the world, but there should be more than one in a country this large.
There might come a time when she gets up against it and will need a little cash, but don't let it put you off, if you can afford it, send it if it sounds legit, if you have doubts or do not have it, then don't.
But others than just me have found good women here so why not you too.
There is going to be naysayers but just take it with a grain of salt until such time as she makes it clear that she is not what you think she is, then will be the time to make different arrangements and cast her off.
I do not think you were hurt a bit in the money for the dinner and drinks, didn't hurt you one bit to pay for the party and dinner for your future inlaws. In fact I think that was very nice of you and they do too.