[ulw7A8Po]

Incorrect Blonde18

You are not to wai the children

[TimoDass]

The is no need to feel akward about wai-ing. If you don't know how to do it correctly all you need to do is watch and learn. I have to admit that I was a bit akward about it myself, untill I spent the evening in Bangkok Airport watching people wai-ing to one another.

[Chooriwrocaey]

I am Thai.
To be honest I feel akward when a Farang wai_s me. Jing Jing na. I do not mind if Farang just says "sa wat dii krap/kha" to me. I feel akward to shakehand or hug with farang also.

Wai is very cultural and traditional. Thais do it because we know it is very important to socialize with "Thai" people.
But for Farang, we know Wai is not your culture. Then wai or mai wai is the same for me. But old Thai people may love their farang daughter/son-in-law who wai them. I think acting and speaking politely is a good way to be friend with Thais.

Just my personal opinion...if you are happy to wai, just do it by heart.

[ulw7A8Po]

Quote[/b] (Nowhere @ Oct. 06 2004,11:56)]I am Thai.
To be honest I feel akward when a Farang wai_s me.

You are much overly-sensitive 5555

Quote[/b] (Nowhere @ Oct. 06 2004,11:56)] I feel akward to shakehand or hug with farang also.

Maybe fear of the unknown?

Quote[/b] (Nowhere @ Oct. 06 2004,11:56)]
Jing Jing na. I do not mind if Farang just says "sa wat dii krap/kha" to me.

Maybe consider, it is often akward for the farang to not have physical contact during a greeting and goodbye.

Quote[/b] (Nowhere @ Oct. 06 2004,11:56)]Wai is very cultural and traditional. Thais do it because we know it is very important to socialize with "Thai" people.

I socialize with nearly anyone I do not reserve socialization to one nationality. I think that could lead to serious hatreds.
The wai may be offensive to many people but how? I mean what would cause such feeling if a predisposed opinion is not drawn? I am not going as far so as to use the 'r' word, but there are some underlying issues here.

Quote[/b] (Nowhere @ Oct. 06 2004,11:56)]
But for Farang, we know Wai is not your culture.

As we know handshakes, a kiss on the cheek for a greeting, and hugs or embraces are not the Thai culture. But we feel deeply honored when these things are done out of respect for our way of life.

Quote[/b] (Nowhere @ Oct. 06 2004,11:56)] But old Thai people may love their farang daughter/son-in-law who wai them.

Many even demand such respect to be shown, not a culture issue, it is a respect issue.

Quote[/b] (Nowhere @ Oct. 06 2004,11:56)] I think acting and speaking politely is a good way to be friend with Thais.

Quote[/b] (Nowhere @ Oct. 06 2004,11:56)]
Just my personal opinion...if you are happy to wai, just do it by heart.

Well Said, I agree with you on that, I am not being harsh because you are a new member. I am being harsh because the attitude appears to be like a tone often used to incite problems.

By the way welcome to the forums!!!

[Chooriwrocaey]

Quote[/b] ]I am not going as far so as to use the 'r' word, but there are some underlying issues here.

What does it mean? I don't understand.

[Chooriwrocaey]

[/QUOTE]
What do you mean by this sentence?

Sorry. I'm tring to quote your message. I don't know how to do it. So, be patient for "a new hand" = Á×ÍãËÁè (Meau Mai)

[Chooriwrocaey]

"I am not going as far so as to use the 'r' word, but there are some underlying issues here."

Sorry, I don't understand what you mean by this sentence.



"Many even demand such respect to be shown, not a culture issue, it is a respect issue."

Your're right but I think it still concerns of a culture. Because Thais are taught to show respect to eldery by wai_ing. How to show respect is a culture.



"Well Said, I agree with you on that, I am not being harsh because you are a new member. I am being harsh because the attitude appears to be like a tone often used to incite problems."



"I am not being harsh because you are a new member."

Wow Wow Wow! Seniority is the point?


"I am being harsh because the attitude appears to be like a tone often used to incite problems."

Sorry, if I make it worse.
To be honest, I don't intend to discriminate or show any negative opinion about farangs.

First thing I wrote the answer because I would like foriegners to know how "a Thai individual" feel and think about Wai_ing of Farang. Because I suppose all of you are open-minded for Thais too.

The second, because I believe "Culture" is very complicate to understand. If you grew up in Thai society, you would understand why Thais have to wai each other. We think a lot before we wai. Wai is not just only greeting way. It conveys many meaning such as high respect, respect, love, like, to be polite, to show well-training of one's family, obey, don't want to be blamed, ect.

Anyway, I just want to know what Farangs think of Thais and our cultures and I really want Farangs to look back what Thais think of our foreing friends. Instead of fighting why don't we take advantage from it.

The Thai proverb that I really like is:
àÍÒã¨à¢ÒÁÒãÊèã¨àÃÒ
(Aow jai khaw maa sai jai raw)

[TimoDass]

I think he means Racism when he says the 'r' word.

[ulw7A8Po]

I didn't say the word farang did

But yes when my in-laws had their son request that I wai them. It was not because they wanted to watch a farang wai. It was not because they were uncomfortable shaking my hand. It was not because it was their culture.

It was a combination of all, the same way students will wai their teacher (Thai Kruu or Farang), a matter of respect. The only one way the wai is considered a cultural gesture is the fact that it is the primary gesture Thai's use to show respect due.

People wai out of respect, not because they wish to xerox a culture. If someone is offended by such cultural 'lines' , then allow me to ask a question.

Why do the Thai people allow farang to stand during their national anthem? Why do Thai people expect farang to respect the monks? Why do Thai people expect the farang to not raise his voice in anger? Why do the Thai people allow the farang to enter the temples? Or even take pictures next to the temples?

Those all cross the cultural 'lines' much more so than a simple handshake or a wai. Nowhere you agree that my wife's parents expecting me to wai is a respect and a culture thing. That is what I think too. But respect being foremost, simply using the culture (the wai) to express it because that is how it is best recognized. So before getting upset about a wai, consider the ways the Thai people encourage assimilation of the culture to the farang by allowing them to takes pictures with monks, temples, and allowing them to stand during the national anthem. The wai however is used as a way to express respect. Taking a picture with a monk is not, that is a way to cross those culture lines.

I don't think my wife's father would understand if I leaned over American Style and kissed his wife on the face! lol

As for quote it is tricky, but you did it well.

[Chooriwrocaey]

I think he means Racism when he says the 'r' word.[/QUOTE]

Thanks Frighten Farang. Stacker used you to say his word for him. Cheeky friend, isn't he?

I'm tring to quote again

[Nothatspecial]

The first time i was in Thailand several years ago I wai'd everybody thinking it was just a greeting.
I soon learned that it was a sign showing respect to monks, elders, and teachers etc.


Every morning the first thing i do after getting out of bed is to wai my mother in-law. Then, as im sitting outside drinking coffee I wai the monks passing by on their morning rounds.


When I encounter someone about to make their first trip to Thailand, I advise them to learn a little about the customs and culture as this will make their trip more enjoyable.

Keep in mind that you are a guest in the kingdom.
Showing a little respect and acting like a civilized human being will take you further than acting like a rich arrogant farang.

[ulw7A8Po]

Actually Farang and myself get along quite well
He has his differences in opinion on some things for example financial matters, but I respect his opinions and style of thinking, as he as also complimented mine a few times. Any argument can go on here that is in a way what a forum is used for a debate session sort of. I do not get tense about any subject unless it gets too close to Rascism. Any person who says they only are comfortable with contact with people from their country, is one of the closest definitions of rascism.

Hey Nowhere, if that is not how you feel then the attitude is not applied to you. Note I was in a questioning form when i discussed it, not in an accusational manner. If you are not being judgemental then we have no problems But as with other forums, this disagreement or misunderstanding stays on this discussion not elsewhere through the forums, I thank you for respecting that.

Well said Mangomike, I in no way meant to wai everyone, it is a matter of respect and the details of to whom it is owed has already been discussed in the above posts.

[koebforfrn]

Is it correct for foreigners to wai ?

I read somewhere that as foreigners do not 'fit in' to the social status, it just looks silly when they wai.

I think wai-ing is very nice, it is a peaceful calming gesture.. The difficulty I would have is regarding how big a wai to make - Though in terms of culture I am probably lower than a child at nursery school so perhaps could give big wai's all round!

[Chooriwrocaey]

It is much more well received than a handshake, and certainly more than a hug. Make sure you are at least of equal social status with the other person (i.e., don't wai children, etc.). This is a traditional greeting and shows respect. As a farang, you are considered to be well-educated and financially advantaged, which automatically affords you considerable status.

[Fdmnrnba]

I agree all the wai

[koebforfrn]

Good Next time in Thailand I will greet this wai ..

The status thing is strange to me - How can all farang's be afforded considerable status considering the way some behave on their travels.. The way I have seen some behave makes me cringe and feel ashamed of my country. They may be well educated in terms of knowledge and have plenty £££'s, but ignorant regarding ethics.. (Thankfully, these people are the minority even though they seem to be everywhere!)

Does just wealth in itself bring status? (Which would seem to be much more a Western ideal?)

Ooo-er.. sounds a bit like a rant.. but isn't really

[Fdmnrnba]

Quote[/b] (Glen @ Sep. 11 2004,15:27)]
The way I have seen some behave makes me cringe and feel ashamed of my country. They may be well educated in terms of knowledge and have plenty £££'s, but ignorant regarding ethics.. (Thankfully, these people are the minority even though they seem to be everywhere!)

In Thailand many Europeans make me feel ashamed of being European as well. On the other hand I feel relieved because I'm not like those people, although most Thai people will only notice this when you actually meet them. Unfortunately these negative stereotypes exist.

[shieclulaweew]

Quote[/b] ]How can all farang's be afforded considerable status considering the way some behave on their travels..

I've been puzzled by this too. I think the answer lies in the Thai custom of avoiding showing displeasure and discomfort. The initial respect shown is indeed for financial status. If has makes enough to travel across the globe, that means one is more affluent than the majority of Thai people.

The respect initially shown for Farang strangers is a facade to mask Thais' inside feelings. Like Tjau Min said, this will change, once they got to know you personally. However, most Farang don't seem to care what others think about them as long as the feeling is not expressed, so they don't make the effort to "blend in". I am glad you feel otherwise.

There is an unwritten set of behavioural codes and values that make the ideal "Thai-ness". The closer you can follow these, the more genuine respect you will get from your Thai peers. Don't be frustrated if some of these seem to be impossible, as they are merely guidelines. As such, even Thai people don't follow them to the letter, much like the precepts of Buddhism.

Good luck!

Quote[/b] ]The way I have seen some behave makes me cringe and feel ashamed of my country.

Substitue "race and gender" for "country", and you'll see how I feel.

[TimoDass]

Quote[/b] ]The status thing is strange to me - How can all farang's be afforded considerable status considering the way some behave on their travels.. The way I have seen some behave makes me cringe and feel ashamed of my country.

Look around this forum. I feel that the farang's you have described are not the same one's that frequent this web site. I do agree with you though. There are many that have not earned the status they are granted. Don't be ashamed of your country because of these people, it's not your fault they are idiots. Instead hold your head high (not higher than the thai elders), smile and wai. Show the thai people how smart and polite you can be, and make a good impression on them.

I too am a white male, but I am not ashamed of my race and gender just because some can not master maturity. It does infuriate me when I see other farang's making an ass of them selves. I am embarissed for them but not ashamed of my self. Sterotypes can be an obstical, but I think it's fun to show people that they were wrong about you.

[shieclulaweew]

Quote[/b] ]Sterotypes can be an obstical, but I think it's fun to show people that they were wrong about you.

Right - given enough time. The trouble is, with most Thai people we meet in our daily lives, we are not together long enough to clear those stereotypes. Consider the following case story to see what I mean:

Your Thai housemate has his female friends visit him at home - no problem. On the other hand, when you have female visitors, people immediately think you are doing "that", simply because you are a Farang male. This is not a good thing when you are a teacher, is it? So, you are now forced to either dump your friends to clear your name and the school's reputation, or leave school and start all over again somewhere else. Which one would you choose?

Things like this can change your life, forever. All that, because of this stereotype. I don't blame the Thais though. It is just natural: if certain kind of people are frequently seen behaving badly, that behaviour is associated with all members of that group. The ones to blame are the sludgeworms themselves. Glen was right to note

Quote[/b] ]They may be well educated in terms of knowledge and have plenty £££'s, but ignorant regarding ethics..

What else is there to say?

Quote[/b] ]Look around this forum. I feel that the farang's you have described are not the same one's that frequent this web site.

Some people here are not as innocent as you might think. As a moderator for the chatrooms, I see and hear things that are mostly hidden from the visiting public. Just think about it: these websites are very famous among Thailand enthusiasts - including people who are not exactly men of great character, if you catch my drift.