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#2 |
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Note of Appreciation
![]() We would like to thank all moderators and hubbers who assisted in conducting this 2011 edition of the the Hub Awards. Sepcial mention must be made of Hubber Rakesh, who goes by the id of Groucho070, for his excellent introduction of the nominees. A round of applause to all please! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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#4 |
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First to wave us an ostentatious bye bye is the two-category-nominee, a man known for his ostentatious sets, creepy melodrama, a gargantuan vision - wait, grouch was on the money when he invoked VTR right? - yes, the one and only Sanjay Leela Bhansali, that feminist who chose his mother's name as his middle one. The name, I mean.
Violin crescendo please. Gregorian chants, start. Loud discordant notes as our friend walks away mouthing long winded urdu dialogues against a background of bluish black sky with opulent, golden-lighted, Jasmine-covered palaces in the foreground. Crying, with a lonely dog to accompany, drowning in his bottle. Bye, Bye, then, SL Bhansali, with your 4.17% of votes. Dont bother to come back next year. We intend to find out who voted you, and weed him out of HUB. Isn't that cheap Bangla liqour tasty? Yeah, so much for your exotic taste. |
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#5 |
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#6 |
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Best Hindi Actress
For somewhat sadistic reasons, I've been asked to introduce the nominees for this category. NOV ![]() Well, it pains me to announce the nominations for best actress in an Hindi film this year because of you know who. Her name rhymes Ice Warrior Rye. Well, she somehow slithered her way into the list, and is in a striking position alongside Kajol and Neetu Kapoor. Hey, another Kapoor. Is that something or what? |
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#7 |
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#8 |
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#9 |
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yaaru neetu kapoor? i only know neetu chandra |
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#11 |
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Best Hindi Actor 2010
Seriously, I don’t even know why we even need to dole out awards for this. Not only the number of nominee is too small for me to waste my brilliant talent in cooking chicken curry, but the talents themselves are too miniscule, except for a fatso there literally speaking, and they need not fill the Hub’s space. Mods can I skip this one? What? Yuvan’s Rottweiler? Where? Okay, Okay, I’ll read. Leading the list is my namesake ex-actor, producer’s son, Hrithik who got this role by playing someone that requires some sort of acting I presume which he probably did assuming he did well and ended up here where I revealed again that I was named after his dad. Pathetic. After this I am going to brood because of daddy issue. Speaking of daddy, Ranbeer’s dad Rishi Kapoor get nominated here, and my only memory of him was him being not only overshadowed, but being steam rolled over and eaten for all meals by Kamal Haasan back in the 80s. Oh, one more name Vivek Oberoi (fill in your own insults). |
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#15 |
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#16 |
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Best Director in 2010 - Hindi
Again, I am given a pathetic list of three names that not only I don’t know about, but I don’t even want to know and won’t care if their maids run away with their pet dogs. Anyway, one that is leading (if such thing is possible) the list is Dibakar Banerjee. “Dibakar” in Malay means burnt. So, let’s give him Mafia-like name, Dibakar “The Burnt” Banerjee, which means he’s not going to win. Lame crack, I know, but that is the theme here. Next on is SL Bhansali. No explanation is given as to what SL means, and considering I am given license to speculate, I’d say it stand for “So Lame” The final of the trio nominee is Abhishek Sharma, and look another name that’s synonym with lameness. Enamoo pongga…. |
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#17 |
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#19 |
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Best Hindi MD
Hindi composers to me are as unique as bird poo that are not used for crops. Insignificant, yet they are around everywhere especially decorating what could be great statues. Unless you count out our beloved AR Rahman who is spending alarming amount of time making music in Hindi that most of us don’t listen too unless you are a hardcore fan in which case you even write 700 plus word review on one of his ringtones. The pathetic list thingy continues with only three others have joined A.R. Rahman in the list of best hindi film music composers, and they include Vishal Bharadwaj, Amit “triple blast” Trivedi and SL Bhansali…waitaminute he composes music too? Didn’t I see him in the director list? There’s something VTR-ish about the whole thing and I don’t like it. |
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#20 |
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