[Hodstcopter]

So I was on the bus today and there was a young lady having a prolonged conversation on her phone. She was talking in an irritated tone and I found it a little grating.

Then I thought to myself, why does she sound like this, it clicked, because she is suffering, she's probably worried about her job, her body weight, her boyfriend, all the rubbish that modern day Samsara fills peoples lives up with. Things spun around I began to feel some Metta for her.

When my GF picked me up from the station I saw some young white lads in track suits hanging around trying to look tough. I thought about their lives, poor education opportunities, parents probably out of work, peer groups, pressured by media and other Samsaric sources to act a certain way and I realised they were suffering too, just like we all are. I've read this stuff, but today it really clicked.

I'd made a decision to go to the Vihara at the weekend for the Dhamma study and meditation instruction, this redoubled my determination.

[raspirator]

I'd made a decsion to go to the Vihara at the weekend for the Dhamma study and meditation instruction, this redoubled my determination.

That is great Justin! :hug:

[BashBeissedat]

[uMG6uOSo]

I agree with Kaarine, lonely_traveller. We so often respond to the unpleasant without stopping to reflect on what the source of the experience is. Developing compassion for others' plights benefits both ourselves and others. I used to get annoyed at all the daily inconveniences I encounter living in Korea. I mean really annoyed. Then I ran across a couple of ideas that changed my way of thinking. One was, 'If it wasn't supposed to be that way, it wouldn't be.' (paraphrase of Ajahn Chah) It's not easy to break habitual reactions, but it's possible.

[CGH1KZzy]

Its funny you know, I fall off the path, come back to the path and then have some kind of "revelation" or breakthrough. It seems to be a pattern at the moment. Someone once said to me, if you look with the right kind of eyes, everything is your teacher, I'm beginning to see the truth in that.

@Kaarine, I've come to the conclusion that I'll do better with some formal intsruction and teaching.

@Element, I've seen you recommend Bikkhu Bodhi's in the Buddha's words my copy should arrive in the week.

[Relsenlilky]

It's really good to hear from you again lonely_traveller !

[Preegovesem]

It's really good to hear from you again lonely_traveller !

Thanks Aloka, . Love your new Avatar, I really liked that show when I was a kid.

[fotochicaes]

@Kaarine, I've come to the conclusion that I'll do better with some formal intsruction and teaching.

Sure, it is always important to be given some formal instruction. Also attending a dojo or a temple is always relieving... you will meet people with more less the same interests finding yourself no alone and having the friendship and support of the sangha members. That is a great experience.

@Element, I've seen you recommend Bikkhu Bodhi's in the Buddha's words my copy should arrive in the week. A great book!

[PharmACT]

lonely_traveller - thank you for sharing your story, a similar revelation washed over me last week; feeling tense and irritated I found myself getting in confrontations about traffic, poor customer service, etc. In each case the feeling was 'righteous indignation', after a week of this and feeling so "off" I sat. In sitting that same epiphany (for lack of a better word) happened and I felt much much lighter. This week I'm attempting watch the world through different eyes.

[KukkoDrukko]

This thread has opened my eyes, thank you!

[Polopolop]

Very good insight, LT. A lot of folks sit and ask "why" about things -- how can people do such awful things, just name anyone, anything -- Hitler, Saddam, Pol Pot, the Columbine killers, Dahmer, etc. So many ask "why" and simply come up short for an answer. You have discovered on your own the answer that millions of preachers and priests and gurus and their billions of followers cannot see: because they suffer.

Well done.

[nanyaHgoc]

Very good insight, LT.

Yes stuka. When I read it, I felt very happy.

[SeelaypeKet]

Thank you all for your kind words. Today I felt a little down, trying to be a Buddhist is the toughest thing I have ever tried in my life, I don't think there is anything tougher really, I really felt like I wanted to give up as I couldn't defeat some of my negative thoughts but I pushed myself and went and sat for thirty minutes anyway (not enough, after thirty minutes I feel like I'm just getting started). The support of the Sangha here at BWB means a lot to me.

[swoluelvede]

Today I felt a little down, [...]

No, it is not Buddhist this quote but I like it; just to share it with you,

Touch is only possible at the edge of spaces.
Light is only precious during dark intervals.

[MeverikcNils]

Then I thought to myself, why does she sound like this, it clicked, because she is suffering, she's probably worried about her job, her body weight, her boyfriend, all the rubbish that modern day Samsara fills peoples lives up with. Things spun around I began to feel some Metta for her.

When my GF picked me up from the station I saw some young white lads in track suits hanging around trying to look tough. I thought about their lives, poor education opportunities, parents probably out of work, peer groups, pressured by media and other Samsaric sources to act a certain way and I realised they were suffering too, just like we all are. I've read this stuff, but today it really clicked.
I'd made a decision to go to the Vihara at the weekend for the Dhamma study and meditation instruction, this redoubled my determination.

Great moment! This is the best that can happen and could "click" every day. ...also at home with family, friends and neighbors etc. This you have to calibrate and cultivate until it becomes a part of you. Good way to meditate on this daily events. One may include all the people one encounters at certain dramatic days and sending out Loving Kindness to them.

I found a Woody Allen quote about suffering:

“To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.”

[laperuzdfhami]

Using Metta is good. However, there is another way to deal with this which is to learn our mind in order to have 'Sati'.
For example, once we see the young lady having a prolonged conversation on her phone, we think about her, be aware that our mind is thinking (regardless what is the matter which our mind thinks). (‘Our mind’ thinks, not we think.)
Once we feel annoying, be aware that our mind feels annoying. (‘Our mind’ feels, not we feel.)
Once we feel Metta, be aware that our mind feels Metta. (‘Our mind’ feels, not we feel.)
By doing this, we will have ‘Sati’ by being aware of our mind in real time. This is a path to ‘Cittanupassana’ which is one of the Four ‘Satipatthana’.

If our Sati is sufficiently fast, we will see that our mind is ‘Anicca’ , i.e. our mind is unstable.
It is not annoying, and suddenly it is annoying; it changed itself and we cannot control it.
It is annoying, and suddenly it has Metta; it changed itself and we cannot control it.
We will see that our mind is unstable and we cannot control it, so our mind is ‘Dukkha’. If we can truly order and control our mind, we should order it to think about only happy matters and do not think about unhappy matters for our whole life. (But, in reality, we cannot do it.) As our mind is unstable, is ‘Dukkha’, and cannot be ordered and controlled by us, we should not treat it as ‘self’, we would see ‘Annatta’.

By seeing these three ‘Samannalakkhana’ (Characteristics Common to All Conditioned Things) clearly and truly, one day in the future, we will truly accept that whatever happen in our mind is ‘Anicca’, ‘Dukkha’, and ‘Annatta’, then we would not hold anything as self. If we do not hold anything as self, we can get out of this indefinite transmigration.

On the contrary, if we feel only Metta, we feel happy, and feel that we are a good person. Yes, we could be a good person. But, as a good person, we still can be a suffering good person since we still have self. What the Buddha taught is greater than just a good person. There were many good people in this world, but they were still suffering and had to reborn as they held self.

The Buddha taught us to see ‘Anicca’, ‘Dukkha’, and ‘Annatta’ but what we see are ‘Nicca’, ‘Sukkha’, and ‘Aatta’ (as our mind can have Metta, can be happy and can be ordered to have Metta and then be happy). Metta is just conventional for all other religious and not unique for Buddhism. Metta was in this world before the Buddha’s lifetime. If we would practice to see and understand the Buddha’s teaching, just Metta is not sufficient, we should practice to see the three ‘Samannalakkhana’. Then, we will be able to understand the Four Noble Truth.

We have to see our real mind, not our adjusted mind. This is to say, we have to be aware of our real mind as a real time, not after we already adjusted it. Otherwise, we would feel that we are happy; we are good; we can do; we can control, and consequently we will still hold ‘self’ more rather than trying to put it down.

For example, if we read this comment until this paragraph, did we aware that our eyes read and then our mind thought, our eyes read and then our mind thought (at real time) etc. Did we aware of many movements of our body, and that our mind changed so many times during our reading this comment.

[Soypopetype]

I have a suggestion for Aloka-D on this interesting text above by ngodngam. (Since this is the Buddhism for Beginners Forum)

Could one of you or both of you make a Buddhist Dhamma & Dharma Glossary and place it as a "sticky " post? I know that there are glossaries to be found out there online. But if newcomers could just consult the glossary inside BWB if they wish to answer some post about a certain word definition or a words meaning...that would be extremely helpful. There are many words where ordinary beginners have to look them up a many time until they get familiar with it. It happens to me all the time since I am not ever before had any ideas about other texts or words than Sanskrit.
Furthermore Sanskrit is not much in use by our Nepalese people except for the ethnic minority of Brahmins. Nepalese also is significant different from Hindi. How much more difficult must it be then for our friends from other countries I wonder.

What do other friends / members think about this suggestion?

[AnimeThat]

There are already Pali and Sanskrit dictionaries in our Study Links section towards the bottom of the main forums page.

http://www.buddhismwithoutboundaries...Buddhist-terms



I have also made a link to them at the beginning of the topics in this Beginners Forum.

[lapyignipinge]

Thanks for that link, Aloka, it was very helpful, some of the terms I understood. I totally got what Ngodngam was saying though, I'd already begun to understand that the goal was to the see the mind in real time, I thought concentration practice would help with this, are there any other tips anyone might have?

[Inonanialry]

You know, I get what the Buddha was saying about believing nothing until your experience proves it to be true, the girl on the bus and other events today have made me realise that its all well and good reading, listening to stuff and watching videos on Dhamma, yeah it goes into your mind, but until Samsara comes and hits you on the behind with something and you suddenly go, ah, thats what he meant, it doesn't really mean anything. My understanding of that was todays first "revelation" for me.