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Old 10-08-2010, 05:35 AM   #21
Wdlglivi

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I always feel anger in my jaw. It tenses up and I get a dull ache there. I try to consciously unclench my jaw when I realise I'm in the midst of anger but that isn't all the time sadly :/

I find the best way for me to deal with anger is to spend time on my own. if I can calm myself enough, I try to meditate or chant the Om Mani Padme Hung. I made myself a set of mala beads out of malachite with the spacers and guru beads in rose quartz. Not the prettiest set, but certainly helpful and discret (I wear them wrapped around my wrist and it just looks like a bracelet). I find if I'm really worked up, having a bit of a sook helps (probably really lame though LOL).

Regardless, the sooner I can bring my awareness to BEING angry and then moving past it, the better.

In metta,
Raven
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Old 10-08-2010, 08:29 PM   #22
KukkoDrukko

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Unfortunately, anger still occurs too quickly for me to see it. I still feel guilty afterwards but I do try to learn from it. Having an understanding partner has helped me in knowing when I'm being unskillful (for which I'm very grateful).

Maybe one day i'll get to the point where I have enough space in my mind to be aware of it as it arises, then I can let it go before it manifests. Which would be nice.
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Old 10-08-2010, 10:48 PM   #23
hojutok

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Maybe one day i'll get to the point where I have enough space in my mind to be aware
Of course Jade... :hug:

Meditative practice stills the mind and slowly this stillness starts to happen in daily life... this is when is told to bring zazen into daily life. After a zazen session we do Kin Hin for a while so to keep that state while being active and while doing other things... patience and practice.

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Old 10-11-2010, 04:25 AM   #24
molaunterbizone

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Maybe one day i'll get to the point where I have enough space in my mind to be aware of it as it arises, then I can let it go before it manifests. Which would be nice.
I hear you. At the moment, as I type, I am quite disappointed in myself. It's early (7.22am) and I'm at work as I start on early shifts. My pass has been configured wrong and I couldn't get into my building or even the carpark and when I went to security about it, the guy was so flippant and couldn't care less and I got really angry very suddenly. I ended up walking out because I didn't want to fight with him but I was shaking when I got into my car. Then my anger got worse as all I could do was go and pay for parking across the road, which caused me to forfeit breakfast in order to start my shift on time.

So here I sit, tired, hungry and disappointed. Not a great way to start the day and I'm hoping to improve my day and let things go

In metta,
Raven
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Old 10-11-2010, 11:33 AM   #25
Clunlippibe

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At the moment, as I type, I am quite disappointed in myself. It's early (7.22am) and I'm at work as I start on early shifts. My pass has been configured wrong and I couldn't get into my building or even the carpark and when I went to security about it, the guy was so flippant and couldn't care less and I got really angry very suddenly. I ended up walking out because I didn't want to fight with him but I was shaking when I got into my car. Then my anger got worse as all I could do was go and pay for parking across the road, which caused me to forfeit breakfast in order to start my shift on time.
I find it is getting caught off-guard by anger that is the worst. For me it is because I have been telling myself I am doing okay, haven't been angry for a long while. Then, suddenly, something crops up that I didn't expect, and I get angry again. I think the main thing is to remember that the anger is non-self and simply keep plugging away with practice and study again. Put it in the past. Also, when I feel good about myself, I think it is helpful to remind myself that this, too, is anicca. Puts the matter in perspective.
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Old 10-11-2010, 10:56 PM   #26
Muramoursuard

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The thing that helps me most with anger is what I have learned from other Theravadan lists, and also from the CD series Mindful Way Through Depression.

It is called a "body scan" and it is a progressive relaxation. As noted above, we feel anger in our bodies, jaw, head, neck, back and relaxing the body, that is holding anger, helps me a lot. Other people on other Theravan lsts tell me they also do these "body scans" or progressive relaxation as well. I think the term "body scan" may be from Joseph Goldstein but don't quote me on that.

I think just as anger can be held in the body, because of the mind, the mind can also get into a state of anger, because of the state of the body.

The other thing that works, which is not Buddhism, in particular, but I just thought I'd mention it. Exercise works very well for frustrations and anger and is a productive use of anger energy in the body.

Meditation with focus on the breath, and calming, can also help with anger.

I know, I get angry a lot and these are the things that help me.

Best,
True
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