Blasphemies!
 

Blasphemies!

Jesus died on the crucifix
for bein' a crazy heretic
pretending that your wine's his blood
it's blood that stains your brotherhood
i'll bet you think he understands you
i'll bet his last words were to damn you
the moon's got bruises from abuse
the sun's for space junk and refuse
the vatican keeps hiding scrolls
perhapse in Buddha's belly rolls
the shintoists are just too penile
and poor old Brahma's getting senile
that Krishna was a petty bastard
but righteous to the men he mastered
don't get me started with old Zeus
that lecher shouldn't be let loose
Osiris' wits were always dim
Set kicked his ass and jigsawed him
the priestess always wears that veil
it's prob'ly 'cause she looks like hell
Allah's always outlawing something
I don't know much, but I know one thing
the holy cow sure makes good chops
I'll buy them at the Wal- Mart shop

Ha! Don't make fun of Buddha's belly rolls! Mmmm rolls....

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management
technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals.. The
funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile.

1.. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that
hangs out over a crystal clear stream.

2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool
running water.

3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.

4. No one knows your secret place.

5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.

6. The soothing sound of a gentle water fall fills the air
with a cascade of serenity.

7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out
the face of the person you are holding underwater.