[temansertewek]

Yea, how the hell can you provide for

a woman if you can't provide for yourself (that's the signal its sending)? Men are supposed to be leaders.

Everybody including women look down on the helpless man who needs to be taken care of. Women aren't expected to be

successful financially.

[FinanseMikky]

I was

surprised that women aren't looked down on as much when they live at home with their parent(s) as men are.

Especially when a woman has a child or children. It seems acceptable. Why wouldn't it be just as acceptable for

men?

It has to do with society's traditional expectations of men and the degree to which men have

taken those expectations to heart. So, part societal pressure, part machismo.

Living at home suggests

that the man can't fully provide for--or take care of--himself (and, therefore, anyone else), whether or not

that's actually true.

Anyway, I was thinking that men are looked down upon for the above only marginally

moreso than are women...

[lopushok]

In the past living not only

with a parent, but one's entire extended family was more accepted. It is still accepted more in inner cities and

Hispanic (and other Ethnic) neighborhoods, where financial considerations tend to help such traditions endure.



A productive life in which one makes a unique contribution, feels fulfilled, and utilizes one's gifts for

others does not necessitate living on one's own; or necessarily even benefit from it!

We tend to take

American individualism as the will of God. It is merely a trait of one specific culture, at a specific point in

history.

Truth be told, if everyone lived in small intimate communities -- extended families plus others, for

example -- and shared resources; there would be far more peace and prosperity on the planet.

Mobley has some

courage to come on here and say all that.

Whether a lot of women would recognize this is another issue.

[heilyprollecyspor]

I was going to send

this to Mobley in a PM, but decided to air my dirty laundry for all to see.

I wish I had Mobley's attitude

about this. I'm 45 and living at home right now. My younger brother is too. My sister is the only one who achieved

escape velocity from this town, partially because she went against the parents advice when she accepted a job in

Phoenix.

For me, there are are a couple of factors why I live at home. Several years ago, my dad had a triple

bypass. A few years later, my mom had brain surgery to remove a tumor. So I stayed around to help them. Add to that

the "discipline" that I received as a child which made me afraid to take risks and the fact that I accrued enormous

credit card debt trying to buy happiness during my parents' bad health periods. So now, I'm stuck where I am,

trying to get out of debt.

Needless to say, living at home is detrimental to a healthy love life. Mainly from

the self-esteem issues that society brings on, mainly through the media. Guys like me are the brunt of a lot of

jokes in sitcoms. I'm reminded of a conversation from the show, "Men Behaving Badly," starring Rob Schnider and

another guy whose name I forget:

(paraphrased)
Other Guy: I ran into Frank Smith today, remember

him from high school?

Schnider: Oh yeah, how's he doing?

Other Guy: Seems he made it big in computer

programming. He developed some kind of operating system and is now filthy rich. He owns a 20 acre estate on which

he's building a home for his parents.

Schnider: He lives with his parents?

Other Guy:

Yeah.

Schneider: Loser!

Other Guy: Yeah. I picked my handle at love scent partially in

irony as I live such a dull life. Stymied by the "loser" vibe I feel from living with the parents and "all work and

no play" syndrome. But like someone mentioned in the thread, how can a woman expect to be supported when I can't

even support myself right now. I am also intimidated by the fact that most women my age have been married and

divorced and have a kid or two. And that intimidation gets worse as I age. The realization that I'm suddenly 45,

depresses me. I keep thinking that I've reached my peak socially and professionally and it's all downhill from

here.

Again, I think a lot of it comes from television. You see beautiful, happy people living in places they

couldn't afford in reality (see "Friends"). All my life I wanted to be a 60s style swinging bachelor, but I'm more

like the comic book guy from "The Simpsons."

[WapSaibiar]

Whether a lot

of women would recognize this is another issue.

You can say that again, Doc! Thank God,

I know for a fact, there are good looking, intelligent women, that do recognize this.

Regardless of how

anyone views me, I'm doing just fine ... in a l l areas!

[WapSaibiar]

My friend

went on a date last night and I asked how it went. She went on and on about what a terrific guy he was. Everything

she said led me to believe that she had found the right guy. When I asked if she was going out with him again, she

said, "h_ll no, he lives with his mother." I was shocked because this was the only thing stopping her from seeing

him again. He is 35 and she is 33. Of course, I'm thinking maybe his mother is ill and he is taking care of her, or

he is trying to get back on his feet. But I don't think that either is the case. She said he has never been out on

his own.

I stay with my mom, too. I have been mentally battling with the female's view/opinion on men who

live with their moms, and it bothered me for the longest. Now, I appreciate a woman that doesn't want to be with

me/see me because I live with my mom. I've found, I'm better off, 'cause with the mentality of one who thinks

that way and is bothered by it, belongs alone.

I'm definitely a MOMMY'S boy, and it's not the

MOMMY'S boy that she makes my decision, or I ask for her advice, but the MOMMY's boy that has her as A VERY

SPECIAL part of me ... my mom and my friend. I could care less what women/someone thinks ... now.

I even tell people/women I live with my mom ... now.

P.S. It's also accepted in Europe,

and the mother washes their clothes, irons them, cooks, and cleans their 20-50 year old son's rooms. What's

America!

[FinanseMikky]

The other thing is that living at

home (past a certain age) is generally interpreted by society as laziness, genetic and otherwise. As a lack of

willingness to get out there and brave the shitstorm, as it were.

And men who aren't willing to brave the

shitstorm, whether for their partner or themselves, ain't very attractive. (See Joseph Campbell. Or George

Costanza.)

[Nemerov]

InternationalPlayboy: My

heart goes out to you, especially your parents. You are a gem and will be blessed for your unselfishness. Your

parents must be proud that they raised such a giving son.

As I said previously, I would never let a man

living at home stop me from seeing the guy. I was more surprised at the double standards our society has placed on

men versus women living at home.

Also, I agree with MobleyC57... we need to learn to love ourselves first.

[FinanseMikky]

My fiance is

from the Netherlands Antilles

Zoukland!

[lopushok]

I for

one would not let that hold me back from seeing a man. Other cultures' views are interesting to me. My fiance is

from the Netherlands Antilles, so I asked him to get his viewpoint. He said, "Dey nuh wife wit mudda." He

really knows how to make me laugh.

lol. .....

[byncnombmub]

I've heard that Italian

single women are not happy with the situation in Italy wherein many single men (with good jobs and the means to

support themselves) continue to live at home with a "momma" who will still do all his cooking, cleaning, etc..



Now, please don't get me wrong, I know there are many situations where this is necessary. Were it not for

my brother, I might also have been living with my Mom who's 84 and can always use some help. There was also a

point in my life where I was so poor that I had to consider it but I got lucky.

[BronUVT]

International Playboy:

I

think what you are doing is wonderful. You earned my deepest respect for doing something that takes a great person

to even contemplate. In my eyes there is a difference between a man like you who lives with his parents for

altruistic reasons and some of the people who just do not want to deal with responsibility. You sound like a good

person. It will come back to you some time in some way.

Wood Elf

[WapSaibiar]

Anyone who doesn't

think the world of you, doesn't know you

You've got me blushing, BJF!