[optormtix]

So I have figured out that my cheating spouse self-medicates when there is a problem in a relationship by turning to other women.

This is evidenced by the fact that today he said to me that I could drive him to do it again if I dont stop reminding him of his "mistake".

In other words he hasnt learnt from his mistake. Instead of seeking marriage counselling or other professional help like he should have done when he thought our marriage was having problems and he was unhappy, his method was to join dating sites in the mistaken belief that other women had all the answers and were able to solve all his problems. So to suggest that he could be driven to do it again means that in his opinion, other women have all the answers to making him feel good about himself. Why doesnt he do some sport or activity that could make him feel good. What man needs to turn to other bloody women. He is an asshole.

[FredderiK]

Right -- cuz you control his d!ck.

Rosella: I cant' fathom why you are trying to reconcile with this man. Every post of yours seems filled with examples of his complete lack of genuine remorse. I mean, the guy cant' even fake it.

Be careful. I worry about you.

kitKat

[optormtix]

Thanks KitKat. I know I am not healing.

This morning I raised the subject again and asked him if I was so naive about how I didnt find out about his first cheating. I asked him if I was so stupid as to not know that he was cheating and asked him how he managed to hide it from me. His reply was that I didnt notice him. He couldnt think that as a wife i wouldnt be expecting to be looking for a cheating husband or that he hid it so well from me. Yet he managed to blame me for "not noticing him" as the reason for me not finding out about his cheating.

Some days I seem to be able to reconcile but it's just not getting any better.

It annoys me to be told that I am the only woman he has cheated on and it really pisses me off to think that if he does get himself another woman that he has learnt his lesson on me and that he wouldnt cheat on her. So i have been the guinea pig in marriage. He did admit that the internet made it easy and if internet dating had been around in his previous relationship that he mighted have been tempted back then. Cheat by nature in other words, not just a chance cheater, but inbuilt into his personality.

I dont know what to do.

[Zaebal]

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[Nashhlkq]

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