[megasprut]

At what point do you resume intimacy, that is IF you do? I am still in the discovery phase/TT phase but am more clear headed now, about six months after the worst of the Ddays and am trying to look ahead to better prepare my self for a time without intimacy. My WS is still out of the country showing regret with maybe a glimmer of remorse, making positive changes as best as he can while we are apart, sending flowers, gifts, trying to kiss my a** from afar.

There has still been no disclosure of a PA and I don't expect that until we are in person (only disclosed a kiss). I am gathering info still and know there is enough evidence of a PA (but still no smoking gun type of evidence) I cannot resume intimacy. There is evidence of hook up sites (I would like to disclose some in case others have seen them in their WS's history and to give you a better glimpse of the situation) like plenty of fish/POF, adultfriendfinder, ebuddy, h*rnyhookups (or something of the sort), Pogo games without seeing any games, fling.com, ef*kt, stilemedia, something with the name 'jasmine', match.com, eharmony, Craigslist personals from many cities and he travels a lot with his work, s*xier.com, and a MySpace profile that has relationship status as single. Now these are just the ones I remember off the top of my head. At first and over the years (yes years) I would stumble across the p.rn type sites and I assumed it was p*rn addiction and maybe that is how it started but as many will agree I would be naiave to assume that was all it was. I never looked further into his history or these sites until I lost trust in him upon discovering the pictures. I also didn't know about interactive p.rn sites until the past year.

I have recently found some things which look like screen shots of interactive p*rn media, I don't know if that is for sure what it is or if it's just more downloaded p*rn pictures. If anyone can tell me how to determine this that would be great but the reason for this post is to find out from those that resumed intimacy, at what point they did that. At this point there will not be enough progress from afar to resume intimacy upon his return. I am going through counseling that is extremely helpful, and opening my eyes to the facts better.

Bottom line is I need to stay physically healthy for the children, and with the evidence I have so far, I am assuming a PA and facing the possibility of multiple PAs, so intimacy risks my health (STDs etc, I already went through all the tests). I am taking one step at a time but need to look ahead a little to better prepare myself and figure out how to drop the news on him. At this point he has no idea that I have amassed more evidence. I am still looking for that smoking gun though!

Thanks for reading I hadn't planned on this long of a post. I sure wish I had found this site sooner and I wish I was more clear headed when I did find it. If at all possible please go easy on me as I am just getting back on my feet.

Thanks again,
faithhopecharity