[bestworkother]

Any have joint custody of your kids? If so, how does that work. In joint custody is there no required child support? Or is it up to the parents to hammer those details out amongst themselves?

[chzvacmyye]

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[Knillagrarp]

Bree is right. I live in California and my friend is going through this right now. Her ex is taking her to court to get more days with the kids (sounds good but he gets the days and doesn't pick up the kids which makes it really bad for them). They share the children 60/40 but he still has to pay full child support and he pays for their daycare. Each state has different laws - you absolutely need an attorney so that you don't get sc*wed.

[Kinds Of Pain Meds]

Muffin,

I live in CA and spoke with an attorney regarding spousal support and child support about 4 weeks ago.

We went through some calculations, and even though we assumed 50/50 custody, I ended up paying about $1000/mo for child support.

The bottom line is really about disparity of wages between Father/Mother; it's not totally about how much time you have the kids. If you make a lot more than your soon-to-be ex, then you are going to pay child support. If she doesn't work, then you are going to pay her.

I don't really obsess over the child support - she may actually use it for child support and (really) my kids are 12 and 8 - I only pay till they are 18. So, I don't think that's a huge problem.

Note: Muffin, at least in CA, if you have been married more than 10 years, you are going to be screwed for spousal support (maybe for a long time.) If you have been married for less than 10 - make sure you end it before 10 so you don't fall into the "long-term" marriage category. I've been married for 17, so I'm looking at spousal support for the rest of my life. That sucks, but I think it sucks less than having to live with her for the rest of my life.

[chzvacmyye]

Muffin,

There are no words to express my anger and sorrow for you. Psalms 5 and 7 are prayers for help. Pretty much all of the Psalms or for help and forgiveness. I still praying for you.

[Knillagrarp]

Hawk is correct about the 10 year thing. Once you have been married for 10 years, your spouse is entitled to a portion of your social security also. You need to protect yourself and make sure that you get court-ordered visitation and so that she doesn't take you to the cleaners. My husband went through a divorce before I met him and it was pretty bad. Started out friendly and ended up with some bad feelings.

[carfAball]

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[carfAball]

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