[DoterForeva]

How do I do this?

So I broke my tongue. I don't know how, and I don't know how to fix it. It's like the whole right side has been cut with a knife. I suspect I burnt out the membranes on that side afting eat a rather large bag of salt and vinegar chips on Saturday night. It's ridiculously painful, though. I literally can't eat or speak. I think I've said 20 words in the past two days; anything I couldn't hum or gesture with my hands. It's too painful to eat. I've had two mini yogurts, 6 popsicles, and barely a few spoonfuls of chicken noodle soup. I kept crying when the noodles got stuck under my tongue, though, so I gave up. I'm starving, still in pain, and I suspect everyone thinks I'm being rude to them because I can't explain this whole story to them vocally. I don't know what to do. I have a union meeting at 9:30am tomorrow. I figure I have three options: 1) don't go and face severe consequences next Monday (long story, but it has to do with a woman who was fired last month), 2) do enough heroin in the morning that it numbs the pain, but I'm worried about falling asleep in the board room and peeing my pants, or 3) bring Pictionary, hastily draw images on a notepad, and point furiously at the pad until the union understands my response... hopefully before the timer expires.

I think I need a fourth option.

[wsbizwsa]

It's been like that for 4 days? Crisps can abraid the surface of the tongue and gums and leave a painful, raw surface behind that can take a bit of time to heal.
Options are to have made up a card that you could have shown people you met that you had a painful ulcer on your toque that made talking awkward - do that next time.
At this point, if you can produce some medical evidence of the problem, that should help.
I assume it's a dispute by the woman or a review of the handling of the case. You may be able to put together a printout covering your main points that you can hand out and reference to, that may reduce the required speaking, otherwise, you may be stuck with taking some painkillers and after telling them the problem, doing your best.
BTW, salt water rinses are supposed to work well with ulcers and similar irritations.

[seicslybearee]

It's been like that for 4 days? Crisps can abraid the surface of the tongue and gums and leave a painful, raw surface behind that can take a bit of time to heal.
Options are to have made up a card that you could have shown people you met that you had a painful ulcer on your toque that made talking awkward - do that next time.
At this point, if you can produce some medical evidence of the problem, that should help.
I assume it's a dispute by the woman or a review of the handling of the case. You may be able to put together a printout covering your main points that you can hand out and reference to, that may reduce the required speaking, otherwise, you may be stuck with taking some painkillers and after telling them the problem, doing your best.
BTW, salt water rinses are supposed to work well with ulcers and similar irritations.

Salt and vineger rinses?

[MrsGoo]

How do I do this?

So I broke my tongue. I don't know how, and I don't know how to fix it. It's like the whole right side has been cut with a knife. I suspect I burnt out the membranes on that side afting eat a rather large bag of salt and vinegar chips on Saturday night. It's ridiculously painful, though. I literally can't eat or speak. I think I've said 20 words in the past two days; anything I couldn't hum or gesture with my hands. It's too painful to eat. I've had two mini yogurts, 6 popsicles, and barely a few spoonfuls of chicken noodle soup. I kept crying when the noodles got stuck under my tongue, though, so I gave up. I'm starving, still in pain, and I suspect everyone thinks I'm being rude to them because I can't explain this whole story to them vocally. I don't know what to do. I have a union meeting at 9:30am tomorrow. I figure I have three options: 1) don't go and face severe consequences next Monday (long story, but it has to do with a woman who was fired last month), 2) do enough heroin in the morning that it numbs the pain, but I'm worried about falling asleep in the board room and peeing my pants, or 3) bring Pictionary, hastily draw images on a notepad, and point furiously at the pad until the union understands my response... hopefully before the timer expires.

I think I need a fourth option.

Have you considered that you may need medical attention? Perhaps you should worry less about the meeting.

[Vedun*]

umm go to the doctor?

[xanaxist]

umm go to the doctor?

Unthinkable!

[PemiaGefe]

umm go to the doctor?

seconded,

and what about bringing along a laptop or netbook and let microsft sam do the talking for you. im sure at this stage you are a very proficient typer

PS. slow it down so it sounds as close to stephen hawking as possible. im sure that will get you points

[xanax-buy-online.com]

I love this thread already; I haven't read a 'blue' story in a while. Good luck with your tongue - and a dry erase marker board gets my vote. I think that'd be fantastic.

[Maymayfor]

Super glue? Or maybe a doctor?

[SueveDobe]

Clearly your fingers and imagination are intact though!


Pic or it didnt happen....[surrender]

[tomspoumn]

How about taking Scrabble with you? Spelling out what you need to say whilst trying to score as many as possible?

Double Win!!

[thumbup]

[Chooriwrocaxz]

Sounds like a mouth fungus.

[xLQLRcXh]

Drink whiskey,,,

[Aswdwdfg]

I hope you've been regularly swishing some antiseptic mouth wash. That should help with any bacteria from building up. Especially after you've tried to eat. There are non alcoholic mouth washes too in-case regular ones sting too much.

[anconueys]

Drink whiskey,,,

Now that is just the most stupid thing i have ever read!!!

Everyone knows that You should be drinking Vodka.... you wont walk into your meeting smelling like a distillery

and if that still doesn't work, i think you have put off going to the doctor long enough to maintain your manhood... when it hurts so bad i cant sleep, i will give in, so i think not being able to eat is a good second,

for a quick fix... get two "signs" one saying YES / I AGREE one saying NO / I DISAGREE, wave those around to draw attention to yourself, and then in the wise words of mgboy... go with a whiteboard to expand on your reasoning

on a side note im sitting here imagining them sticking a huge needle into your tongue and sucking out some unsightly liquid... and really starting to think GO TO THE DOCTOR before they have to amputate and you end up a mute!!
[oops]

[wowwieholmes]

Well waters, you've done the right thing in coming to us. With everyone here having tongues you're bound to find a solution, without the need to explain it to one of those so called "doctors". In fact, you should call up an adult web-cam chat site and get one of the girls to take a look at it for you.

[fhutiussk]

Hands down Option 2

[Badyalectlawl]

You sure you haven't been erm...pleasing the women with that thing?

[xanax-buy-online.com]

You sure you haven't been erm...pleasing the women with that thing?

It's called cunnilingus; and it's nothing to be afraid of.

[DoterForeva]

Drink whiskey,,,

Yes! Sadly, the girlfriend just shot down that idea.

Well, my staff had a good laugh at me all day, but two of them literally dragged me to the walk-in clinic. The doctor figures I bit my tongue in my sleep and it got horribly infected. He says the whole underside and sides of my tongue are coated in ulcers. I guess that explains the pain. I went to, count them, SIX different pharmacies before I found one that had the stuff the doctor prescribed. It was great fun not being able to talk and having to explain my situation over and over to six different pharmacists.

The two hour union meeting at 9:00am this morning went well too. Every time I couldn't let something pass, I smacked my hand on the table and made gorilla noises until I got their attention.

I hope this is the start of things getting better. Honestly, maybe the worst pain I've had since my hernia surgery three years ago.