[steevyjeors]

Comic sans?! RUN!

[ivandiadser]

Try and move on buddy. I know its hard but you deserve better than her.

I was in a similar situation with my ex. My so called friend comming over a lot, them 2 dissapearing all the time. And in the end she hooked up with him. Its not your fault. Poeple change and stuff happens. If i was you i would be thanking myself lucky because she sounds like trouble anyway.

Always remember, A door closed means another opens.

[Poll Pitt]

She sounds like a confused woman. It happens to them from time to time. I had a similar thing happen with mine.

Honestly, the best advice I could give you would be to date someone else for a while. Each of you needs your space and time to figure things out. She needs to hang out with other guys. Once she does she'll realize you're either the one or you're just a friend. When you spend so much time with a person *2 1/2 years* sometimes you take them for granted and don't notice the things they do. Once you get with another person you realize that the things you took for granted are the things you loved and miss.

Hopefully she'll spend some time with other men, do some dating, and realize what made you special and she won't forget. Its easy to forget why you first started having feelings about a person when you spend a lot of time with them.

[Broorbbub]

you story makes me think about...

I'm seeing this girl and she just might be out of her mind
Well she's got baggage and it's all the emotional kind
She talks about closure and that validation bit
I don't mean to be insensitive, but I really hate that ****

Oh man she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
She thinks she's the victim
Yeah

Now I know she'll feel abandoned
If I don't stay over late
And I know she's afraid to commit
But it's only our second date

Oh man she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
She thinks she's the victim
But she takes it all out on me

I don't know why you're messed up
I don't know why your whole life is a chore
Just do me a favor
And check your baggage at the door

Now she talks about her ex nonstop, but I don't mind
But when she calls out his name in bed
That's where I draw the line
You told me a hundred times how your father left and he's gone
But I wish you wouldn't call me daddy
When we're gettin' it on

Oh man she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
She's playing the victim
And taking it all out on me
My god she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay

If you think I'm controlling
Then why do you follow me around
If you're not co-dependent
Then why do you let others drag you down

I don't know why you're messed up
I don't know why your whole life is a chore
Just do me a favor
And check your baggage at the door

Damn bitch... [thumbdown]

[ChebuRAtoR]

you story makes me think about...

Damn bitch... [thumbdown]

Damn that writer must have known my ex! She talked about her ex alot, and dad died when she was 12.

She was really clingy and kept telling me she was worried I'd break her heart and that she was falling for me too quick.
I should of ran we when she said she broke up with her ex after a long term relationship, because he moved interstate. Later he realised his mistake and proposed to her, she said no, but she told me she still loved him

Instead stupid naive me figured it should be alright, after all she was with me.

2 months in and things seemed as strong as ever. She went to Sydney to visit her mum for the holidays, and when she got back out of the blue she told me via MSN things where over, she liked me too much and that it was affecting her career.

And that was is it. I never saw her again.

When I think about it now, it pisses me off that she got me believing I was going to break her heart. I learnt my lesson though. Whenever I meet a girl that acts like her, my mind flashes back to remind me, then my legs take me as far from her as possible [rofl]

[ivandiadser]

Whenever I meet a girl that acts like her, my mind flashes back to remind me, then my legs take me as far from her as possible [rofl]

Not before you give her a little something something right

[sydramySweame]

women, cant live with em, cant kill em either >

[ChebuRAtoR]

Not before you give her a little something something right

Well this year has been terrible in that regard [surrender]

Luckily for me the hottest girl I have ever known is coming to stay at mine for 3 days tomorrow. She's a friend of my cousin (girl) and they're coming to town for a friends wedding. She shut me down over 11 years ago, and as far as I know, has never really had a long term boyfriend (hell, she was 18 when I met her and my cousin claimed she was a virgin).

I've only seen her a couple of times since and played it cool as if I wasn't interested anymore. Seems to work as she is the sort of girl always fighting off guys attention. Although if you don't try it always seems to be working [rofl] I give her crap for being a North shore girl, and say she must be a ragging lesbo sex fiend She's the type who enjoy's banter rather than nice.

I've been told to get my drinking shoes on. So with alcohol, the jacuzzi in the backyard, a wedding, Beaches (I live on the coast now), Summer Xmas season, it's gonna be fun

[AngelinaTheElf]

One thing that I think I forgot to mention is that she went to his
place straight after she finished work the day she left me,
messaged me from there asking if I wanted to come over to watch a
movie.
I didn't go over, she didn't get home untill 2am or so.
I should add that she is 21 and I'm 25 1/2.

*UPDATE*
(This is before I posted this thread)
I had been looking on LavaLife and found one of her friends, I sent
her a message via MySpace saying that I had found her and added a "lol".
Just sort of a friendly message asking if she has had any luck.
She sent me one back saying how she is to fussy and asked "what about you?:

This is about when I posted this thread and I haven't replyed to her.
Christmas eve I get a text from my EX:

"Merry Christmas for tomorrow stevie hope you have a happy and safe holiday "

To which I didn't reply to.

On Christmas day I get a text from the same friend of hers that I
messaged about LavaLife.

"Hey just wanted to wish you a merry xmas hope u have a good day and don't do anthing stupid! Love from mel xoxo"

I igrored that one too.

I could be wrong and have forgotten the ex's friend sending me Xmas texts in the past but I don't remember them.
That makes me think that my ex asked her to send me the message to see
if I was ignoring her as well.

Of course I'm probably reading far to much into this lol.

Have a good day guys, I needed to hear all of you say "just forget her" Beacause I'm beginning to not care what happens now.
It has helped.

[WaydayFep]

I just need some outside opinions, its in white for the people that can give me a genuine reply . Thanks.

Ps: It is a LONG post.

I'll do my best to tell it as un biased as i can.
At the time I had been with my girlfriend for 2.5 years, she had broken it off with me about
a year before, she said it was because we wanted
"different things" in life (she wanted kids there and then and I didn't plus other things) but we got back together after a week. I should add that a similar
thing happened after about 9 or so months but it was for only an hour or two.
For a while I had been getting bad feelings about one of her male friends (They spent a fair amount of time together with and without other people around but I trusted her
and thought that it was just me being jelous. I know that she did love me very strongly ,
one of her friends told me that she used to wright a countdown on her hand when I went
away for how many days I would be back, which is where I start to get confused.

I finally start to change my mind about having a kid and tell her so, she is very happy (looked like this )
at the time i had planned on saving up for a ring and asking her to marry me in about a months time.
One night she says that she is going out to dinner (to a place that I like) with just her male friend . I thought thats a bit odd as she didn't ask me if I wanted to go so I said that I'd like to go, she said that I was tired from work and should stay at home but by this time I had had enough of them spending alone time together so I came along anyway.

Not long after that she broke up with me.

She came by for a sort of final talk, one of the things that she said was "Do you think that I've cheated on you?" to which I said "Not cheated, but getting feelings" She guessed who I was suspecting straight away.
She looked me in the eyes and said "I haven't cheated on you or lied to you,I don't have and feelings for him, he is to clingy". I told her about the night the 3 of us went to dinner and that I really felt that she didn't want me there , she said that she wanted to go with him so that they could have a talk about us. There is another lie (different reason than the first time).

We sent txts back and forth, one of them was something like "My mind has changed for the better, I'd like to just see each other once a week so it doesn't get to much"

I went over there 2 or so days a week for about a month doing sort of normal things that we used to do.
Then came my birthday, me and her went to the local sports club that we're a member of for the free birthday dinner promotion they have.

That night I stayed at her place, we ended up having sex ( Now to me sex is an emotional connection sort of thing and I would only do it with someone that I love)
During "it" I was thinking that she is changing her mind and that she wants to get back together.

The next day we were in her room and she gets some txt messages from her male friend. She turns to me and says that she is going to the coast for the day (with just the male friend ) basically gets ready and leaves, not saying much and just leaving me there.

The next day she messages me and says "What do you think of us spending all of this time together?" to which I said something like "I think its a good thing"
I asked her why we had sex and she said "it takes two to tango and that I didn't have to if I didn't want to." I told her again what it means to me and she said that she did it because she wanted to feel closer to me (insert more confusion here).

We sent txts back and forth for a few weeks, one of them was something like "My mind has changed for the better, I'd like to just see each other once a week so it doesn't get to much"
I pretty much stopped going over there about here.

Now its 4 months after she left me and I had to go to her place for something.
His car is in the driveway, I knew as soon as I saw his car that they were together (just a vibe I had)

She was cooking him dinner (which she would never do in the way she was) so I ask her mum if they were together, she says that she has no idea (which i didn't buy into, just the way she said it I guess)

A few weeks passed and I had to go back for something, and this time both of his cars were there as well as all of his stuff and I mean ALL OF IT.

I knew the answer to the question but I asked her mother If he had moved in, she couldn't even look me in the eyes and kind of turned away (something very out of character) saying that "This is between you and her" and " I would have told you if something had being going on behind your back"

Of course this made me very upset because she was now with the very guy that I had suspected her mucking around with and the one that she said she denied having any feelings for.
Some txting later she says that it "just happened very recently" (of course I didn't buy that at all, she still maintained that she hadn't done anything wrong)

She still wanted us to be friends, I told her that I could never be in the same room as him and she said please don't be mad at him (just how she used to do when someone had a go at me to her)

This happened in October and I'm still feeling depressed and finding it hard to be happy.
I feel that if nothing had gone on behind my back, that she would realise soon enough
that she had made a mistake but I need something to change NOW.
I can't go on like this.
I feel like if I start seeing another girl that it wouldn't be fair on her (being with her just to get over my ex)
I feel like I have perment trust issues now aswell.
I also feel that if I knew that she had cheated on me (I would be very pissed off though) that I could move on.

Some extra stuff:
Here are 2 emails she sent me not long before she broke up with me for a week



20 or so days later she sends me this:



How can she have such a big change so quickly unless she was lying to me?

I have known someone for ages that can get into anyones Myspace page account.
At the time I had thought of doing that to see if I could find anything in the PM's of her and her friends accounts that could put
me at ease either way.

Its probably to late now to find anything but is that something I should do so I can help myself move on ?

If anyone is still reading, is there any advise that I can have to help me out and move on?
Thanks for your time.

A: This is just a game to her
B: She DID cheat on you... regardless if she actually did or not, the fact that you feel she did and never got that resolved is cheating enough
C: Move on... why would you want to be with someone who isn't completely crazy about being with you?... she's not some prize that you should just be happy she's with you... it's both ways... have some pride in who you are and some self respect to back it up...

[WaydayFep]

Of course I'm probably reading far to much into this lol.

Girls are like that... so I doubt you're reading too much into it...

[WaydayFep]

She sounds like a confused woman. It happens to them from time to time. I had a similar thing happen with mine.

Honestly, the best advice I could give you would be to date someone else for a while. Each of you needs your space and time to figure things out. She needs to hang out with other guys. Once she does she'll realize you're either the one or you're just a friend. When you spend so much time with a person *2 1/2 years* sometimes you take them for granted and don't notice the things they do. Once you get with another person you realize that the things you took for granted are the things you loved and miss.

Hopefully she'll spend some time with other men, do some dating, and realize what made you special and she won't forget. Its easy to forget why you first started having feelings about a person when you spend a lot of time with them.

She's LIVING with another guy... that's not space... he needs to move on

[DoctorDulitlBest]

You should respond to her friend. Who cares if you ex thinks your ignoring her [thumbdown]

[WaydayFep]

You should respond to her friend. Who cares if you ex thinks your ignoring her [thumbdown]

Only if she's hot/easy/single/doesn't care [thumbup]

[DoctorDulitlBest]

Only if she's hot/easy/single/doesn't care [thumbup]

That's what I was getting at!

[Hammaduersnes]

She is trying to keep you in the frame so if things go wrong with him she still has someone to turn to .What she has done, is unforgivable she will do it again ,and so will your so called friend and she knows that.
what you need is a few one nighters just to give yourself a boost, then see what comes along .I can tell you that when you find the right one you will not feel one bit of doubt as far as cheating go's.I was a chronic cheat with my ex, my wife knows this but we trust each other so much, why because we know we are right for each other .We have our ups and downs but never about cheating .When you get to that point with a woman then you just know that it's meant to be.
Good luck and do not hold onto something that is never going to work.Move on ,and be happy because this is not going to make you happy .Become a player for a while nothing better for your confidence.


I have really poor writing skills so jumble what I have said around a bit and you will get the picture.

[AngelinaTheElf]

Girls are like that... so I doubt you're reading too much into it...

It feels like all of my feelings about this issue have been right so far.

You should respond to her friend. Who cares if you ex thinks your ignoring her [thumbdown]

Originally Posted by The_Undertaker
Only if she's hot/easy/single/doesn't care [thumbup]
That's what I was getting at!

I have never felt anything for her either before, during or after I was with the ex.
I'm thinking that to be replying to her friend it kind of like replying to my ex because they
tell everything to eachother. The ex could just end up using her friend as a way of contacting me.

She is trying to keep you in the frame so if things go wrong with him she still has someone to turn to .What she has done, is unforgivable she will do it again

Yea I kinda think like that, thats why I'm not replying to her.

what you need is a few one nighters just to give yourself a boost

Doing that would go against who I am, I have no interest in being like that.

[Hammaduersnes]

Doing that would go against who I am, I have no interest in being like that.

I haven't got a problem with that .Good luck in life my friend.

[Matajic]

I could be wrong and have forgotten the ex's friend sending me Xmas texts in the past but I don't remember them.
That makes me think that my ex asked her to send me the message to see
if I was ignoring her as well.

Of course I'm probably reading far to much into this lol.

Yes, you are. So what if even your ex did ask her... it has absolutely no bearing on you. Just ignore, and don't think about it. And I know that's not quite so easy, because no doubt you are trying to do just that.

What you need is another girl to take your mind off her, because I think the only thing that's keeping you even at all thinking about your ex is that you still find her somewhat attracted to her and haunted by what could have been.

[soryalomop]

All I could see when I read the OPs post was how much that read like my denial when my ex was cheating on me.

There is almost no way that was an appropriate relationship, even if it somehow managed to not stray to physical.

Opposite sex friends just don't do all the things you listed without there being something there, 90%+ what you described is either already physical or has those feelings underneath.

Basically I am saying she cheated on you, even in the tiny sliver she didn't actually "do it" she was seeing this person in a way that was unfair to you, at least an emotional involvement well beyond any opposite sex relationship (note when I say opposite sex I mean, whatever you are attracted to obviously...gay would be same sex)

The only thing you can do is an absolute resolution that it is over, you will never talk to her again, and cut her completely out. She doesn't know what she wants, even if she figures herself out while you hang around like a puppy dog and she is playing the field (at a minimum emotionally), you have a pretty damaged past to overcome.

One more thing. Find another girl. Just have fun, if you are like myself and have an overbearing moral compass from your upbringing or whatever...just tell her your situation and that you don't think it will be long term. Honesty will be your friend, not whiney crying honesty, just that you had a bad break up and are moving along and want to have fun.