A joke for today...... - DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate

**Qahtwugc** · 04-11-2007, 12:03 AM

The FBI are recruiting for an assassin. After reviewing the profiles of potential candidates, they are left with 3 people to interview - 2 men and 1 woman.

The FBI HR department decides to arranging a practical test for them. The first man is taken to a large metal door. "We need to know you are prepared to follow orders without question" he is told. "Behind that door is your wife, sitting on a chair. I want you to take this pistol, go in there and shoot her". The first man breaks down in tears, saying he could not possibly shoot is wife. "I'm sorry" he is told, "you are not the person we are looking for. Go, and take your wife home".

The second man is taken to the door, and given the same order. He takes the pistol, and goes into the room. After five minutes of silence he opens the door and comes out, crying. "I'm sorry" he says. "Once I was in there I realised I could not do it". He is told that he's not the right person for the job, and should leave together with his wife.

Finally the woman is taken to the door, and told that her husband is in the room sitting on a chair, and she needs to take the pistol and shoot him. She enters the room, closing the door behind her. Several shots are heard, one after the other, - the whole magazine is fired. Then there are several minutes of crashing, banging and screaming, and finally silence.

The woman reappears, sweating heavily and looking exhausted. "God-dammit" she said, "the gun was loaded with blanks, so I had to use the ****ing chair to kill him".

**CO2490pL** · 04-11-2007, 12:06 AM

[yawn][yawn][yawn][yawn]

**arindiruppya** · 04-11-2007, 12:34 AM

lol it was a funny joke 5 years ago............... must try harder [rofl]

**GOLAGLULT** · 04-11-2007, 12:51 AM

Good one, never heard it before [yes]

**adarmaSen** · 04-11-2007, 12:51 AM

The hell? That joke doesn't even make any sense!

**GECEDEANY** · 04-11-2007, 01:22 AM

The hell? That joke doesn't even make any sense!

Men need women for sex

Women need men for inheritance after they're dead (-40% in the UK)

**nakeseireo** · 04-11-2007, 02:36 AM

I saw SnW's reply before reading the joke and figured, if he didn't laugh, it's gotta be a pretty crappy joke. But Chris wouldn't post that crappy a joke, would he?

Would he?

He did.

**Saispapedlimi** · 04-11-2007, 02:38 AM

I heard different variants. Like the gun didn't have bullets in it, and she beat him to death with the gun instead.

**jinnsamys** · 04-11-2007, 03:06 AM

Do you know what you get when you play a country song backward? You get your job back, you get your house back, your wife back, your truck back...

Six guys are playing poker. After losing $500 on one hand, Smith clutches his chest and topples over, dead at the table. To decide who's going to tell his wife, his buddies draw straws. Anderson picks the short one. "Break it to her gently," they all urge. "Leave it to me," he says. When Smith's wife comes to the door, Anderson says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards." "How much?" the wife yells, eyes blazing. "Tell him to drop dead!"

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and asks, "This taste funny to you?

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I'll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby. "I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. "What did the doctor say?" the victim cries. "He says you're gonna die."

Any better?

**rostpribru** · 04-11-2007, 03:08 AM

lol it was a funny joke 5 years ago............... must try harder [rofl]

I am laughing at the tumble weed[rofl], just shows even a mod isnt immune from the attacks of the subbordinates

**MeeveStesia** · 04-11-2007, 04:57 AM

I heard this joke on this forum like 2 years ago.. Still funny though.

**soryalomop** · 04-11-2007, 05:07 AM

iLoL´d [rofl]

**arindiruppya** · 05-10-2007, 05:35 PM

Any better?

NO! You get 4, one for each crappy "joke"!!! [rofl]

**MiniBoy** · 05-10-2007, 07:00 PM

I am laughing at the tumble weed[rofl], just shows even a mod isnt immune from the attacks of the subbordinates

Ever heard of Lord_Micron?

**rostpribru** · 05-10-2007, 11:26 PM

Ever heard of Lord_Micron?

yep [thumbup]

**CO2490pL** · 05-10-2007, 11:30 PM

I saw SnW's reply before reading the joke and figured, if he didn't laugh, it's gotta be a pretty crappy joke. But Chris wouldn't post that crappy a joke, would he?

Would he?

He did.

[rofl] I totally forgot about this bad joke but THIS reply made me [rofl][thumbup]

**nd90t3sf** · 05-11-2007, 12:20 AM

Ever heard of Lord_Micron?

HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED!

**CO2490pL** · 05-11-2007, 12:22 AM

HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED!

I kinda miss the guy , i never get Infractions anymore

OOOOo Neeyik Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [rofl]

**ulw7A8Po** · 05-11-2007, 01:11 AM

If God made the front of a womans body, who made the back?

THE COUNCIL. Who else would put a **** HOLE next to the PLAY AREA???

**rostpribru** · 05-11-2007, 02:22 AM

If God made the front of a womans body, who made the back?

THE COUNCIL. Who else would put a **** HOLE next to the PLAY AREA???

did you copy and paste that? or did you think of it all by yourself?

04-11-2007, 12:03 AM	#1
Qahtwugc Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 409 Senior Member	A joke for today...... The FBI are recruiting for an assassin. After reviewing the profiles of potential candidates, they are left with 3 people to interview - 2 men and 1 woman. The FBI HR department decides to arranging a practical test for them. The first man is taken to a large metal door. "We need to know you are prepared to follow orders without question" he is told. "Behind that door is your wife, sitting on a chair. I want you to take this pistol, go in there and shoot her". The first man breaks down in tears, saying he could not possibly shoot is wife. "I'm sorry" he is told, "you are not the person we are looking for. Go, and take your wife home". The second man is taken to the door, and given the same order. He takes the pistol, and goes into the room. After five minutes of silence he opens the door and comes out, crying. "I'm sorry" he says. "Once I was in there I realised I could not do it". He is told that he's not the right person for the job, and should leave together with his wife. Finally the woman is taken to the door, and told that her husband is in the room sitting on a chair, and she needs to take the pistol and shoot him. She enters the room, closing the door behind her. Several shots are heard, one after the other, - the whole magazine is fired. Then there are several minutes of crashing, banging and screaming, and finally silence. The woman reappears, sweating heavily and looking exhausted. "God-dammit" she said, "the gun was loaded with blanks, so I had to use the ****ing chair to kill him". Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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04-11-2007, 12:06 AM	#2
CO2490pL Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 437 Senior Member	[yawn][yawn][yawn][yawn] Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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04-11-2007, 12:34 AM	#3
arindiruppya Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 576 Senior Member	lol it was a funny joke 5 years ago............... must try harder [rofl] Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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04-11-2007, 12:51 AM	#4
GOLAGLULT Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 383 Senior Member	Good one, never heard it before [yes] Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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04-11-2007, 12:51 AM	#5
adarmaSen Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 368 Senior Member	The hell? That joke doesn't even make any sense! Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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04-11-2007, 01:22 AM	#6
GECEDEANY Join Date Nov 2005 Posts 480 Senior Member	The hell? That joke doesn't even make any sense! Men need women for sex Women need men for inheritance after they're dead (-40% in the UK) Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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04-11-2007, 02:36 AM	#7
nakeseireo Join Date Nov 2005 Posts 391 Senior Member	I saw SnW's reply before reading the joke and figured, if he didn't laugh, it's gotta be a pretty crappy joke. But Chris wouldn't post that crappy a joke, would he? Would he? He did. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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04-11-2007, 02:38 AM	#8
Saispapedlimi Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 522 Senior Member	I heard different variants. Like the gun didn't have bullets in it, and she beat him to death with the gun instead. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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04-11-2007, 03:06 AM	#9
jinnsamys Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 418 Senior Member	Do you know what you get when you play a country song backward? You get your job back, you get your house back, your wife back, your truck back... Six guys are playing poker. After losing $500 on one hand, Smith clutches his chest and topples over, dead at the table. To decide who's going to tell his wife, his buddies draw straws. Anderson picks the short one. "Break it to her gently," they all urge. "Leave it to me," he says. When Smith's wife comes to the door, Anderson says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards." "How much?" the wife yells, eyes blazing. "Tell him to drop dead!" Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and asks, "This taste funny to you? Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I'll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby. "I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. "What did the doctor say?" the victim cries. "He says you're gonna die." Any better? Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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04-11-2007, 03:08 AM	#10
rostpribru Join Date Nov 2005 Posts 497 Senior Member	lol it was a funny joke 5 years ago............... must try harder [rofl] I am laughing at the tumble weed[rofl], just shows even a mod isnt immune from the attacks of the subbordinates Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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04-11-2007, 04:57 AM	#11
MeeveStesia Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 540 Senior Member	I heard this joke on this forum like 2 years ago.. Still funny though. Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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04-11-2007, 05:07 AM	#12
soryalomop Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 617 Senior Member	iLoL´d [rofl] Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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05-10-2007, 05:35 PM	#13
arindiruppya Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 576 Senior Member	Any better? NO! You get 4, one for each crappy "joke"!!! [rofl] Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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05-10-2007, 07:00 PM	#14
MiniBoy Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 495 Senior Member	I am laughing at the tumble weed[rofl], just shows even a mod isnt immune from the attacks of the subbordinates Ever heard of Lord_Micron? Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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05-10-2007, 11:26 PM	#15
rostpribru Join Date Nov 2005 Posts 497 Senior Member	Ever heard of Lord_Micron? yep [thumbup] Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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05-10-2007, 11:30 PM	#16
CO2490pL Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 437 Senior Member	I saw SnW's reply before reading the joke and figured, if he didn't laugh, it's gotta be a pretty crappy joke. But Chris wouldn't post that crappy a joke, would he? Would he? He did. [rofl] I totally forgot about this bad joke but THIS reply made me [rofl][thumbup] Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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05-11-2007, 12:20 AM	#17
nd90t3sf Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 451 Senior Member	Ever heard of Lord_Micron? HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED! Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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05-11-2007, 12:22 AM	#18
CO2490pL Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 437 Senior Member	HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED! I kinda miss the guy , i never get Infractions anymore OOOOo Neeyik Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [rofl] Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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05-11-2007, 01:11 AM	#19
ulw7A8Po Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 415 Senior Member	If God made the front of a womans body, who made the back? THE COUNCIL. Who else would put a **** HOLE next to the PLAY AREA??? Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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05-11-2007, 02:22 AM	#20
rostpribru Join Date Nov 2005 Posts 497 Senior Member	If God made the front of a womans body, who made the back? THE COUNCIL. Who else would put a **** HOLE next to the PLAY AREA??? did you copy and paste that? or did you think of it all by yourself? Share Share this post on Digg Del.icio.us Technorati Twitter
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