[Z2sc8gEz]

To continue, it bothers me that we have a perfectly good plan, we have done a lot of ground work and now it seems to fade away mystically. The point is, I've been the driving force for this company and I don't have any resources left so I can't live. I'm not being sissy about it, I mean there is absoutely 0 euros left for me after rent and food and utilities, I can't buy any service or anything else that would be considered a necessity, let alone do something with my family. It is no way to live, not anymore. I've paid my dues, this is when it has to start happening.

So it sucks if I get some menial job somewhere, thinking of all the cool things we could be doing, and how profitable they could be. Things could be worse. Many things though, so many things I've just added to this stack of hurt, thinking it's worth at the end. Now the stack is still there. The end isn't.

[NEronchik]

Congratulations!

Thanks

Oh and what I just complained about in the OP and afterwards, it might be difficult for many to understand. But I've never had a job. I've always had a dream, and I've always worked towards that very spesific dream. Not just "oh meet cool people and like not worry and stuff", but damn hard work, read everything on the subject, write an article in this magazine, get interviewed by that person, get to know these people and so forth. Painstaking work but for a dream; I never had a job. I cannot explain it to you. It's emotional and it's so many sacrifices that it sort of makes no sense anymore. It's like wanting to be a pro boxer, you had a pretty good run but when it was all over all you had was damaged brain and no one remembers any of your fights, just mumbling away in some bar grabbing peopel and saying "hey you remember me?" and they're like don't touch me. Yeah. That's what it's like.

Oh yeah! This is all related to the fact that I'm about to get married, which is of course a happy occasion

But I can't be broke, irresponsible dreamer anymore, chasing the entrepreneuer's dragon

[viagracheapest]

Congratualations Pekka on the engagement!

[RooxiaNof]

Congrats on the engagement. I would recommend that you continue to chase the dream. Don't settle. If you do, you'll regret it later.

I know... I think the only thing left for me is to get a loan for living expenses (which by default is a bad idea). I'm sort of talking myself out of it but I don't know what to do. I think I won't be happy with a job. Jobs have limits everywhere. Then again I have to pay for stuff. Nggh! unno:

[Kausilwf]

congrats on the engagement

mike is right, demand more from your 'team', what are they doing if not finding new customers or delivering services?! point out the consequences.

Nothing much I can do about it. The rest of the team have stock. And other sources of income. Most of them are above middle range in income and do not have to worry about it. Yeah, they say "we must fix the cash flow to help you out of this situation" and that's about it. It's always nice words, but few weeks later, nothing has changed. I have like one guy who is doing things but he is more back line support anyway. The rest? Just passive owners these days. Lots of talk, lots of other fires to be put out. Sometimes I don't even get a hold of a person for days, except for the trusted back line support guy, who is the brains of the operation anyway and valuable.

When some of us leave with a car and I say no thanks, I don't need a ride because I have my bicycle, it really means that at the moment I'm cutting overhead so much from my personal expenses that I can't even afford the bus ride. This is in fact true. And that's OK too, but I work really hard and take risks, the minimum expectation is that owners do what we agreed everyone to do and use their connections, set up more meetings in more segments, spread the word and all that good stuff. Freaking nothing this year. And then they just are "worried about my income". That's kind of like shooting someone in the face and saying "I'm worried about your face".

[GoblinGaga]

and nothing to stop you coming back when your wife is making money in her new career and starting another company, where you can learn from the mistakes this time about the team and the way it's set up.

[forextradinginfo]

and nothing to stop you coming back when your wife is making money in her new career and starting another company, where you can learn from the mistakes this time about the team and the way it's set up.

That's true. It's just that right now there's a bad taste in my mouth about the whole thing. Would I return to the same group? No. I would need to see some people go first. Next time I'm setting up a company we'll definitely do few things differently. All in all I think we have done many things correctly and avoided many pitfalls that were not too obvious.

But as for "nobody doing anything", there's the one valuable brains behind everything, but then the other one who is supposed to have same role as I do. It's not that he's been unable to get new customers, it's also that he has made 0 attempts to contact potential customers. There's no good reason for that. I know sucks to make those calls, but hey, there's no way around it. Nobody is above that. Sitting idle for... now for that guy, exactly a year, is sort of enough of that.I've grown more impatient during the last few years. I have no patience for that kind of behaviour. He came in highly recommended as a capable business developer, but turns out he got fired from his last job for the very same reason - not doing anything. The company was successful because of other reasons. Should have thought about it more. It's not his fault we are at this situation. I'm projecting my anger towards him but he is a **** up regardless.

[CarrieSexy]

pekka, congrats!

also, there's a thread down here wherein one individual claims that all women are the same. could you comment on that to that poster in relation to getting engaged?

Absolutely, I'll do that later tonight

edit: What's that thread titled again?

[Adfcvkdg]

Awesome, Pekka. I'm happy for you.

Regarding the business, don't bust your ass for a failed business model/situation. By no means is all lost -- your hard-won experiences can't be taken away from you and you know that you have what it takes to succeed. It sounds as if you could quit your current situation and start up another, better situation right down the street, so to speak. So get a job to tide you over for a while as you look for fresh buffalo to hunt.

[stastony]

Congrats on the engagement and the kid!

Pekka, you say that the lean period is what? 8 months?

See if you can push through that time while still working where you are. Doesn't sound like a failed business model to me.

As for generating more cash, there's plenty of ways to do that without taking time away from your business. Lots of contract work out there if you aren't too proud to do that. If you just need 8 months cash to get by see what contract work you can pick up for yourself.

As for the rest of it, if you're in the business of selling, it's really in your best interest to do as much as you can about selling. Really, this is all on you. You can't count on the other bastards to do what they have to do if they aren't relying on the job as much as you. That's something you'll run into pretty much everywhere.

If you feel that the income will perk up with the business later on, then see what you can do with the business through the lean period and go from there.

[mralabama]

WTF? You think that's odd? Welcome to the 80s Oerdin.

[unatkot]

Why wouldn't you marry if you're having kids? You wouldn't have the kids if you weren't prepared to make the commitment, right? I don't get it.

[RIjdrVs3]

I'm happy for you, Pekka. Congrats!

Wishing you a constantly clean bill of health; I know you can handle the rest.

[mas-dkt-sive]

Thank you friends, for your kind wishes and wise words. This is like the icing on the cake, we now have a place reserved for the celebration part of our wedding as well.

As for everything else, I'm still not going to totally give up. I can't. I have a good plan, it will simplify things and make the road a bit lengthy for me, but I will get a job and do what I can when I have time.

I could try to get as much money out of the company but then again I am one of the bigger owners and senior staff, and also, there's still future for this start up. It isn't looking bad overall, it's looking that I can't support myself well enough at the moment. We're going to invest to our future in terms of finally seeing how we scale, go for the bigger fish. I have mixed feelings about that: OTOH I'm getting out of the comfort zone and we don't have clear access to market for our next step. These kinds of things scream for full time passionate work with huge driving action. Well, I don't have that new job as of yet so I'll keep doing it hard until I get one. When I get one, I'll see where we're at.

But I won't throw it all away. I'm not sure if this balancing in between is going to be a good idea. It might be a bad idea. But I guess I'll get to see it myself.

And as for my health, yeah, that's my shared #1 priority. That, baby, and SO Have I told you guys that my baby is starting to walk soon? It's so exciting! Also, she is like a ball of energy, she sucks the life out of me in a way that is good, she just keeps going and going and going, I can't even keep up with her.

Also, she has great muscle tone, some babies have that, I'm not sure, I think we are feeding enough, everything she can eat basically.

[Machater]

Nice

It is amazing how tired you can be. Let's say that the baby is going wild all day, has kept you up for the night as well, and is wild next day as well and you're about to fall apart. But then she gives you a new facial expression, a new type of a smile, or a new sounding laughter. Suddenly it's all sun and rainbows It's definitely worth it.

Now, I'm on a business trip and away from home, and I miss them like crazy. Sure, I've missed my SO before, but now it's totally different. I couldn't be away for long periods of time for no reason.

[uncoosesoge]

Pekka, when you daughter gets older and starts taking her clothes off and running around the house, whatever you do, don't laugh at her.

[itsmycock]

Congratulations Pekka.

What happens with the shares if you shut down the company?

[MackBranon]

rah, I won't be laughing. I've been sure to not make any "EWwww!" face or sounds when I change her diapers etc. I'll be probably taking my clothes off as well and running around the house naked, too.

pchang, nice! It's not a complete failure but it's not the success it is supposed to be, the pace is way too slow. Our team is too slow, we don't make enough connections, it all boils down to having a thin pipeline at the end. Not enough effort. I think I got us a new customer that we should be closing with in 3 weeks plus I'm getting a proposition of another company for cooperation and partnership, they'd give us something very cheap, practically for free, that would give added value to what we do, and also they'd use their sales channels to push some of the content we'd give them in return, and of course get a percentage for their sales. It's kind of attractive but at this moment it seems like a distraction. If we had a team running on due dilligence and insanity, we'd get it done for sure, but now I just don't know.

SO that said, I'm still looking for new jobs.

I'm probably not going to shut down the operation but remain stock owner. I'd probably keep a good percentage of the company even if I get a new job. It's been so dysfunctional for so long, that the things that have kept us alive are good product and service, and good business logic. In short, there's potential, most of the things are and have been in place for a long ass time, there's just passive owners not contributing, doing work, in order to enable us to succeed. I can't totally blame others but hey, people have to do their tasks what they promised to do. Even if poorly, it needs to get done at some point. Say you are in charge of sales, if you make 0 sales calls, you probably don't make any deals either. To me, if someone is above that, they are not the type of people I'd be interested in working with. It sucks to call, but let's get over it and just do it.

So probably I'm not shutting anything down.

BREAKING NEWS:

I just heard, like an hour ago, that my to be wife is pregnant again. Complete surprise. I'll probably make another thread about it. This is too "heyyy my business partners are passive and it sucks m'kay?"

[VrQsgM7c]

So, today I actually gave up the first time.

I admit it. I cried a bit, too. It's hard emotionally. Last week, I set a deal to be closed around $70k, and will probably set a new deal during September for $20k. These are not record breaking numbers, but... why am I breaking down? I'm breaking down because I still have not found a new job, and today was a meeting I was not invited in. No big deal, right? Well for me it is. Not for control issues, but I feel bad when I'm left out when it's obvious I should be included, then it feels personal. I know they probably didn't mean this, but regardless I'm slowly becoming apart again.

So, the good news is, the meeting was actually held. I just was never there. I sent an SMS, I asked on IM, hey, is it on yet? 30 minutes later I get response from someone else "we're here with the 4 of us, but we figured we would let you know what we talked about". WTF x an infinity.

The reason is that they were in another city physically. But is it really that difficult to do a conference call? Or Skype? I couldn't go to the other city for the meeting, but COME ON!!!! I'm also the majority owner, I single handedly own more than any of the participants and have closed the only deals this year we have. **** I'm so pissed off right now.

I felt total shock. I had to ask if... like am I some sort of a nazi or difficult person that no one wants to deal with? But no, it's just that I was not in that city, and the person who facilitated it didn't come to think of it, and that they figured this would be for the best, not take my time, take notes and give them to me.

I'm thinking of changing my field. I just don't feel comfortable anymore. I realize I need to feel good, I need to be comfortable and relaxed. I've learned some valuable lessons, not all of them negative, and I have a gut feeling I need to do something else. Not perhaps gardening, but something totally different. I don't know what it would be. Become Yoga instructor or something. Learn more Yoga first. I don't know. Life is not worth this stress and the feeling of pointing fingers at other people. If this is truly the best they've got to offer, well, it ain't enough.

[rionetrozasa]

update: just closed the bigger deal and talked to people.

I don't know if it's the surgery or the mental pressure (fear of death) ever since that moment that has set me to this course. When I step outside the situation, it seems like I demand a lot in terms of not allowing people to make small mistakes.

Big mistakes OK, small mistakes not OK. You'd think it's the other way around, but **** we know how to do and are easy, that's when I don't get it.

Well, I'd say the day ended on a positive note. Tomorrow better be better though. I need more deals. It seems that more deals I get, more angry I get at others for not closing deals. Yeah it's difficult but I'm not an expert and I still close deals. People, what the hell? I'm probably the worst talker of us, probably actually the least experienced, have tons of other distractions going on, I just simply don't get it. What is the reason for not trying? It's like dying without a fight.