[geasurpacerma]

Hello everyone,


I am a newbie to this forum and having come across this forum i just couldn't help it but to seek some advise. (please forgive me if this is not in the right section, i am a newbie to this forum).

I hope you are all well and have had a great weekend and a Happy Easter. I personally did not have a happy Easter this year, nor last year...nor the year before. My life has been nothing but miserable since i was a teenager and i have been praying to God since then for my dreams to come true, but i have not received what I prayed for. My dreams have faded away, ...time has passed me by, and i was there watching it all. I feel like im a teenager but i am not. I am soul lost in time....I 've spent my teenage years mostly indoors and isolated, and this wasn't always or due to depression, but due to being poor. I am not ok financially and my dreams have faded away. I am in my mid 20's now and i feel like God has left me behind. Someone once said that God helps those who help themselves, but my attempts for achievement have been blocked by people. other people always block me, and take what could potentially be mine. they underrate me or try to reduce me. (perhaps that is jealousy). i do have the talent, but other people always minimise my chances. i ve prayed hard to God, but i haven't received what i prayed for.. I do have suicidal thoughts sometimes. Oh i am depressed? who wouldn't Even some priests laughed at me, and made me feel worse..treated me bad. And a guy from around the blog gave me hope. Life .... So where is love in this world...? Where is God? maybe God is on vacation. I have seen the ugly and sad face of this world. It's all selfish and for the eyes of the world. GOD THANK YOU AM ALIVE.

All i want is to live. I live to live, not to die.

I feel that other people have more than me, I have nothing. my best years have passed me by and my hands were tied up. its all gone. even those dreams faded away, im not a teen anymore.

Easter is good and the Church. it is lovely to sings and light candles and pray and talk about Jesus and teach others, and be hard to other people , BUT WHERE IS LOVE? where is it? first commandmend of love.

A Loving God, a forgiving God. Jesus told us to forgive one another. People have always blocked me from living then. I turned the other cheek so many times. Where is justice? Where is God?

And im a sinner. well who isn't in this world now.

who's going to cast the first stone?
Jesus did not come for the righteous....right

I don't know what to do anymore. I am sick of this never ending story. perhaps there is nothing for me in this life....im just a guest living to die.. a lost soul..lost in time. I don't care about anything anymore. i prayed hard all those years. I didn't receive it.

all i asked for was my peace. what others had and didn't have to pray to have it.

God forgive me

thanks