Another "Dear Diary" thread!
 

I went to a house warming party with new friends from work last night, I was working at 7am so wasn't drinking (always fun at a party...). One of the couples are frigging nuts, the girl stormed off halfway through the night leaving us with her drunk abusive and violent boyfriend.

I am too bloody nice to people, so concerned about others well being I convinced him to get in the car and I would drop him home.

When we got to his place he started arcing up about me and his girlfriend (she is how I know them, she worked with me until she got fired/quit). Anyway he is the sort of guy who has issues with his self worth, the sort of guy that gives you a handshake and tries to win and stare you down and thinks he is a hard arse. He has it in his head I'm a threat or something and was calling me a pussy and then attempting to choke me and took my glasses off and threw them out the door (he was in the back seat, I knew something was up when he didn't sit in the front).

Now I'm the sort of guy who these guys really underestimate. At school I was a geek and still am (never hang out with jocks), but I was also the first guy chosen in any sports team (you know when two kids get given captain status and choose teams). Last year I worked on a cattle station and was constantly having to deal with cranky bulls and mothers who where protecting their calf's, so I really learn't to deal with scary situations. Not gloating just giving you an idea of myself.

So I took the kid gloves off, got out of the car and dragged him out of the backseat and onto his front lawn and told him that he is treating me with complete disrespect. He got up and seemed to settle but he threw a punch and caught my lip, no damage apart from his ring cutting my lip so I still kept my calm and didn't react in anger.

I just left him and drove off. My main concern was simply getting him away from my car, punches and whatever I can deal with, kicked body panels would cause me to beat the hell out of him and possibly cause myself life changing worries that aren't worth it on a low life.

Anyway, so I got a text from his girlfriend tonight. It was "Did you drive Ryan home last night? Is his jacket in your car?".

http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...ies/blink1.gif

I haven't replied.

Shame that is wasn't, considering my glasses got chipped and I will have to get them replaced if I don't want to look even more geeky, a jacket could have squared the costs up.

Bang his girlfriend. You pretty much have to at this point.

Yea, Bang her. You pretty much have to.

This.

It's a no-brainer.

Just got a message for his girlfriend

"Ah please reply, we think his house keys were in the pocket of his jacket, we somehow got in the house but we can't find his jacket, so we are stranded at home as we can't lock the house haha"

Still no apology or thankyou....

--- Post Update ---

Sent a message "his jacket isn't in my car" and she sent back "thanks" then another "what's up with you?" then another "thanks for driving him home btw".

Haven't responded and won't for today. Who would tell her that her boyfriend owes me for the glasses and he also took a swing at me?

Since he's working so hard on being an a'hole, and it's an ongoing situation, I certainly would let her know - but I'd do it in front of him as well. That way, when he takes another swing, you can let loose!

I like that idea actually, will keep it in mind. Not real concerned about revenge though, so won't actively go looking for it.

She texted me yet again asking "are you mad at me?". So yeah I guess the boyfriend might be right and I am a threat http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...ies/laugh1.gif But I met a real nice girl at the party who is also really cute, so I'll see if that leads anywhere rather than step let myself get involved with a girl who's boyfriend is a nutter, way less complications.

If someone takes a swing at you then you have to take a swing back, regardless of who would win. People will see you as someone they can take advantage of otherwise.

Losing a fight always hurts less than running away from one.

I don't consider it a fight. I don't have anything to prove, so what would have been the point? If I was actually worried he could hurt me I would have responded.

The fact is he is probably shitting himself about whether I tell his girlfriend he took a swing at me after I was kind enough to give him a lift home.

i didn't say you need to prove anything, but trust me he now sees you as a p***sy that he can push around in future. You're kidding yourself if you think he's scared of you telling his girlfriend.

If he thinks that so what? Let him try and push me around in the future http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...ies/laugh1.gif I also don't care if he thinks that as he is a dirtbag, his girlfriend on the other hand is still texting me and is worried about me not liking her simply because I didn't respond to a text.

Come to think of it, maybe you have a lot in common with this guy? He is passive aggressive all the time.

Yeh, she's worried about you not liking her, not you not wanting to bone her. You should have more self respect and stop bring such a 'nice guy'.

Im not passive aggressive, I call a spade a spade. Don't cry because I speak my mind.

Huh? What has being nice got to do with self respect? I'm not trying to bone her, sure she is cute but so are lot's of girls I know. She is the one who keeps asking me to go out with them as they don't have any friends, well she does but none of them want to go near her BF. After Friday night none of the girls from work or their friends want to hang out with them as a couple either, why do you think he hasn't found his coat? It's at the house the party was in that he got thrown out of, but they don't want to give it too him giving the damage he caused.

He can think I'm a pussy/gay/fairy or the queens mum for all I care, his part in my life is as welcome as a fart in a space capsule.

Dangermoose, so you would tell the GF? Just as a some more background info. She was dating a guy for 5 years who said was a ********, HOLY CRAP that must make him the biggest dick on the planet considering she thinks the current BF is awesome! Anyway she met the current BF and split up with the ex the next day. Fast forward 4 months and they moved to Melbourne, she said people where interfering in their relationship and they needed to get away. I read into this that all her friends and family saw this guy for who he is, and she doesn't.

BTW they gave each other love heart tats with a razor blade and ink http://www.discussworldissues.com/fo...ies/wacko1.gif

I like the way Gordo would handle it. If she asks again just tell her what happened. Maybe the ******** is abusing her as well, he sounds like a real champ. She probably has self esteem issues because she is with a jerk like that, so I wouldn't put the moves on her, potential messy situation....

My 2 cents.

Yeah that was my gut instinct and probably why I wasn't angry when he threw a punch (was bemused actually), just confirmed my instinct he will be a wife beater. That's probably half the reason I made this thread (the other is for this forums entertainment) I am wondering if I should do anything to warn her given she might actually listen to me.

I'm not sure. It would depend on a lot of different factors. I don't know enough about your situation to have any useful advice.

Fence sitter!

Well would you try and intervene if someone you knew (but it wasn't a family member, that's a given) was in a toxic relationship? Or would you leave it for them to figure out themselves. Women in toxic relationships side with their partner in these situations right? As they have a delusional "love", so all I'd do is drive her further into her delusion? The "us" versus "them" scenario.

I would also be faced with having having a massive headache with the aftermath if she actually snapped out of it I suppose?

I might just look after myself and forget about other people's business. It's not funny anymore.

It all depends on how hot she is.

So I'm not the only one who thinks he'd probably be violent to her as well.
as she/he is still looking for the jacket, you could mention that it is probably still at the place they were kicked out of, and they can pick it up when they apologise and sort out the damage.
If it does come up, and you actually talk to her about it, you could point out that there's a reason that so many people in her old town had an issue with the guy and why people in your town are having issues with the jerk - it comes down to one common point - the guy is an a**!

I generally* allow idiots one swing at me, as I generally am quite a bit bigger/stronger and should easily take them, telling them that's their free shot and next time I'll be hitting them back, hard! Almost always works and no further action is needed and, if it is, well, they were warned.


*Sometimes you don't have that option, and you've just got to deal with as well as you can (fight or flight) - like bigger guys just looking for a fight because one is seen as being a quiet person and an easy target. Fortunately it's very rare.

Can't really tell from this thread, but in my experience it's the blokes that are too cowardly to fight men that tend to hit women.

--- Post Update ---

There are just too many variables...do you care if she doesn't speak to you again, what would it achieve, would you end up looking bad, do you fancy her, would it make any difference.

An uninformed decision is generally a stupid one.