[Clesylafabada]

... I don't know where else to post this and I couldn't find any threads that covered this subject... so...

... shortly before my wedding (almost 5 years ago) I began having "plumbing issues" and it began to severely affect my sex-life/libido with my husband (bf at the time, duh). We went from having sex roughly 2-3 times a week to a dry spell of about 2-3 months (while I dealt with a nasty case of vaginitis and then the worst periods I have ever had in my life! (3-4 in a row that were... let's just say... GROSS). I wanted nothing to do with sex. I didn't want to be touch, caressed, kissed, etc. I know it affected my husband and I still feel horrible for it. I have since been working with my MD to "normalize" my periods (because I have a hormone imbalance and thyroid issues) and my sex drive has sort of returned, for the first few days after my period anyway.

But sex is becoming painful... as in penetration has become irritating to my lady-bits. And I'm finding it really annoying/angering. Mostly because we used to have GREAT sex. Serious, it was awesome... even "normal" vaginal intercourse was great... I felt very lucky. But now, well, I don't know if it's me or what... but it's hard to describe. The only way I can think of is "disappointing" or "frustrating".

Help?

[Appeselve]

Probably not relevant to you but if you use condoms, could you have developed a latex allergy?

[Clesylafabada]

I'm on b.c. and my husband's childhood cancer made the likelihood of him ever "fathering a child" highly unlikely.

Although, I do have a bit of a sensitivity to some condoms.

[Chito]

It's the pill. I promise. If that is what you are using.

[Clesylafabada]

It's the pill. I promise. If that is what you are using.

Really? I was hoping that it wouldn't be... but I guess that makes sense.

I'm just so frustrated. I wish there was something I could do.

[TerriLS]

Perhaps there is a different birth control pill you can take where you won't have these reactions?

[lrUyiva1]

Are you taking the pill "just in case" or are you using it to control your periods? It sounds like it might be wreaking havoc with your hormone levels (which affect sex drive, obvs). Did you change prescriptions or brands?

[Clesylafabada]

Are you taking the pill "just in case" or are you using it to control your periods? It sounds like it might be wreaking havoc with your hormone levels (which affect sex drive, obvs). Did you change prescriptions or brands?

I'm taking it for both reasons, honestly... My periods have always been a little on the sporadic side and my MD is working with me to get them normalized. We went up a level (I'm taking Junel?) of b.c. "strength" because the last one wasn't strong enough and I was spotting in the middle of the pills, while "pink week" wasn't consistent. While I think that I'll probably never have a truly "normal" period because of my thyroid and excessive amount of testosterone, I know I have to be patient now because we did up the dose. HOWEVER, this upped dose seems to be upping my PMS and anxiety. *ugh*

Thanks for letting me talk this out

[Drugsonl]

Look into pill alternatives: IUDs, the Ring, norplant, depro-provera (if they still do them).

[Chito]

When I was last on the pill, it caused constant anxiety and nearly complete loss of libido. As soon as I went off it, all systems go. The pill binds testosterone in the liver. It's great for some women, but for others it's not the right choice. I'd say go off it and use another method to see how it goes.

[ggandibazz]

so glad for this thread. thank. you.

not involved enough with anyone to be engaging in this yet but feel that it is problem for me too. pain with the "lady bits".

it has been well over a year since i broke up with my ex & prior to that we were not engaging b/c of the pain but i am nervous about when i do get involved enough that it may be even worse...

[Clesylafabada]

Look into pill alternatives: IUDs, the Ring, norplant, depro-provera (if they still do them).

Because I am at risk for uterine cysts I can have IUDs or the Ring ... I don't know what norplant is (research time!) and my MD says that depro-provera isn't the best match for me because my body needs to have regular periods because of the risk of cysts and such. She said that once we get things somewhat normalized then we can look into depro and things like that. *shrug*

When I was last on the pill, it caused constant anxiety and nearly complete loss of libido. As soon as I went off it, all systems go. The pill binds testosterone in the liver. It's great for some women, but for others it's not the right choice. I'd say go off it and use another method to see how it goes.

Thanks Kari, I know I just need to make another Dr appointment and talk to my MD about it, but because my periods and hormones are so out of wack without p.c. I don't know what to do. BUT will totes talk to my MD soon!

Thanks again guys

[Chito]

I hear you. It's a terrible choice to have to make. My periods are still a little wonky but in the end it was 100% worth it for me to go off the pill.

Also, sorry if this is TMI and/or obvious and/or you already do this, but in the event you don't, you might want to invest in a good lubricant. Lubrication can greatly vary depending on where you are in your cycle, and that can make sex painful. Some of it might also be psychosomatic, to an extent. Having something like vaginitis can really mess up your psyche and your relationship to your parts. It's almost like your vag has PTSD.

[Clesylafabada]

Also, sorry if this is TMI and/or obvious and/or you already do this, but in the event you don't, you might want to invest in a good lubricant. Lubrication can greatly vary depending on where you are in your cycle, and that can make sex painful. Some of it might also be psychosomatic, to an extent. Having something like vaginitis can really mess up your psyche and your relationship to your parts. It's almost like your vag has PTSD.

Not TMI, exactly why I started this thread!

... OMG my vag must have PTSD! I know I think about it all the time!

maybe this should be in the depression thread?
And my anxiety/manic episodes don't help. I have had issues with my sexuality because of my weight gain, various "lady problems", and emotional imbalances and these things have made sex and the desire to have sex impossible at times! I know my husband loves me and desires me but my brain will get all crazy and I'll start going through a cycle of thoughts of "he just likes my boobs", "it's not me he wants, he just wants sex", and so on... it's depressing that my brain even goes there. It makes me feel horribly guilty for even allowing those thoughts to surface!

Anyway, thanks again Kari It so helps to have someone to talk to who understands.

[Chito]

No worries!

I gained some weight too, so i totally understand. I also struggle with anxiety and the fact that I've been unemployed for 4 months has NOT helped things in the boudoir. And the fact is...your husband probably does like your boobs. But that's okay! He loves YOU. The boobs are just a bonus.

[Clesylafabada]

No worries!

I gained some weight too, so i totally understand. I also struggle with anxiety and the fact that I've been unemployed for 4 months has NOT helped things in the boudoir. And the fact is...your husband probably does like your boobs. But that's okay! He loves YOU. The boobs are just a bonus.

Ha! True that... he DOES love my boobs... but as they've grown 1/2 a cup size (hello, bras don't come in 1/2 sizes! No such thing as a 40DD1/2!).

Communicating in spoilers is funny

[ChexEcodece]

Has your dr mentioned endometriosis? I used to have great sex, and it became painful, periods worsened. Since having all that she could remove taken, the pain has subsided and my body is finally getting back to "normal", even though it has been a year.

[Clesylafabada]

I think she mentioned it the first time I came in, along with ovarian cysts and fibroid-somethings... but all my tests came back normal/negative. I'm going to bring it up this next visit and request that we retest for some things because this shit is getting redonk.

[Qncvqpgfg]

I was going to suggest the ring, since it's lower hormones, but I see that's not an option for you. I wonder why it affects uterine cysts?

I have to be on hormonal BC because without it I get ovarian cysts and I feel like I am DYING when they burst. Seriously, I called 911 and I think I have a pretty high pain tolerance.

[Clesylafabada]

I was going to suggest the ring, since it's lower hormones, but I see that's not an option for you. I wonder why it affects uterine cysts?

I have to be on hormonal BC because without it I get ovarian cysts and I feel like I am DYING when they burst. Seriously, I called 911 and I think I have a pretty high pain tolerance.

Well, my "normal" testosterone levels are way high and although a low dose of estrogen keeps my cramps in check, it does jack-all to normalize my periods... it's confusing and honestly, I should probably do some more reading on it because I still don't get it. I know my uterus is a bitch... I wish I could just literally cut it out and forget about it.